At what point do you say enough is enough?

Question

My best friend's mom just died (about 3 months ago) and she doesn't have a dad. She's only 19, and is living on her own with her 23 year old brother. I get that. I get that she now has rent and bills to pay because she has no one supporting her anymore. But she owes me money, not much, only 35 dollars and always says she doesn't have it to give me yet because of her bills, but then I see her with a brand new camera she said she just bought for 189 dollars. Or she'll walk in her house with 120 dollars worth of stuff from Target. I understand her mom just died and she has bills to pay but like, come on. She's my best friend and we've been friends since we were 11 and I don't want to lose her but isn't this getting a little ridiculous?

Answer 1

Next time you see her with something..

Say this-

"Thats nice and all, but Im tired of having to tell my mom why you cant pay her $35 back, when you buy non essentialsm like this.

Can you just pay me a little per week and get her off my back ? "  

Answer 2

If she is your best friend then forget it.  $35 is not worth a friendship.  Why can't you let it go?  I think if you never mention it again you will be taking the high road.  With friends, it always works out in the wash anyway.  Don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 3

Confront her about it, if shes a real friend she'll understand.

Answer 4

Best friend or not it's the principal of the thing.  If she has money to buy all this other stuff, then pay me my $35 ... period.  I'd politely mention it to her though.  I wouldn't go off on the deep end, but I'd definitely let her know that I can see that she's put her priorities in the wrong order.  Maybe she'll feel guilty and pay up.

Answer 5

yes..she is wrong because if she know she owes your mum money and she has it she should pay, it's always good to have a "good name" but on the other hand she is your best friend and as it is only $35 so maybe you all should let it pass....the fact that she is buying stuff even though she owes your mum money is because she is a teenager, it is what you do when you have a job, regardless. you spend it while you have it because you are not at the stage of completely understanding how important is it when it comes. save your friendship though...i'm sure your mum do not need that $35.

Answer 6

I would just let it go and if you can, pay your Mum back yourself. The time will come if her spending pattern remains the same that she will want another loan. That is the time to say "I'm really sorry I can't. I am still waiting for the 35 dollars you borrowed and never paid back and I cannot afford to lose any more".

It's a hard way to be, but she has to realise that a debt has to be repaid and it should never be the action of a best friend.

Answer 7

It is ridiculous - enough is enough - there we all said it!

Answer 8

Just say to her, "You have to pay me back the money you owe me because every time you go shopping and get something that is not gas or food or when you're not using your money to pay a bill it makes me angry.  I need that money and I don't want to be angry that you're taking advantage of me anymore.  Be mad if you want to because if you don't pay me back and continue as you're doing our friendship will end anyway."

A lesson for you...never lend money to anyone.

Answer 9

tell her nicely then say what you saw that she bought!

Answer 10

The best thing you can do is tell her straight out.