At work and Bored - Tell joke?

Question

I hate my job (no worries i'm quiting soon) but just to start my day with a smile, how about you share a nice short joke?

Answer 1

HOW TO GET A BLONDE TO DISAPPEAR

okay there was a blonde a brunette and a red head at a bar and they found a magic mirror. if you tell the mirror some thing true something good would happen if you told it a lie...poof! you  would disappear. (oh and im 12 so this might not be funny to you)

so the brunette walked up to the mirror and said i think i am smart...and the next day she was rich

the red head walked up to the mirror and said i think i am pretty...and the next day she was famous

the blonde walked up to the mirror and said i think... POOF!!! she was gone

THE PMS JOKE

a 7th grader walked into the new development and asked a girl...so what school do i go to

and the girl replied oh PMS

WHAAAT!!!! the 7th grader screamed i don't get that yet!!!! why do i have to go there

and the girl laughed a little no...hehe we go to Parkland Middle School!!!!!!

thats all i got hope u laughed

Answer 2

There are three women on a desert island. They find a Jennie lamp and rub it. A Jennie pops out and grants them a wish a piece. The first asks to be 20% smarter so boom she's 20% smarter.  The second said I want to be 50% smarter so she's 50% smarter. The third said she didn't want anything like that. She wished to be 30% dumber. She turned into a man.

Answer 3

If you're looking to waste some time and get a few laughs check out LiketoLaugh.com.  Funny pictures, videos, jokes, pranks, insults, etc.

http://www.liketolaugh.com

Answer 4

There was a man resting and enjoying the view on the beach. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked, "What do you have under the newspaper?"

Thinking quickly, the guy replied, "A bird." The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. The police asked him what happened. The guy says, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this little girl asked me a question, I guess I dozed off, and the next thing I know is I'm here."

The police went to the beach, found the girl, and asked her, "What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with his bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"

Answer 5

A Blonde Joke:

A Brunette was watching the lunchtime news and there was a story about a man who was contemplating suicide by jumping off a bridge. At the end of the news item the police managed to persuade him not to jump.

The Brunette's Blonde roomate was home by the time the 7 o' clock news was on and the same story from the lunchtime news was repeated. The Brunette decided to take advantage of her Blonde roomate and bet $20 that the man wouldn't jump. The Blonde agreed to the wager and the story unfolded just as it did earlier, resulting in the Brunette winning the bet.

The Brunette felt guilty and admitted seeing the story on the lunchtime news earlier. The Blonde replied by saying: "Oh. I watched it on the lunchtime news too!"

Answer 6

s*x Joke

Okay so a guy is

nearing the

end of his

senior

year in high school.

Unfortunately,

he still has to share a room with his

younger

brother who is only 9

years

old.

One night, he decides to bring his

girlfriend home

for a little fun.

They

have bunk beds and the guy notices that

his little

brother is already

asleep

on the lower bunk, so he and his

girlfriend climb

up

to the top bunk.

As you

might expect things start to heat up.

The guy remembers that his little brother

is

sleeping below so he tells

his

girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants

it

harder and "tomato" if

she

wants a new position.

Lettuce!!!

... ... ... Tomato!!!

... ... Lettuce... !!!

... ... Tomato!!!

... ... ... Lettuce!!!

... ... Tomato!!!

... ... ... She screams.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Lettuce!!!

... ... ... Tomato!!!... Whoa!!!

... PULL IT OUT!!!

PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

I can't get pregnant!

Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey,

would