Attempting the CIO method?

Question

Before you criticize me for letting my daughter cry herself to sleep, she is nearly 16 months old, I am 4 1/2 months pregnant, and can no longer put her to sleep the way her dad does, nor can we let her sleep in our bed anymore, as we'll be cosleeping with the new baby, just as we did with her.

We have tried absolutely every method out there to get her to the crib in the day and for longer than half an hour, and nothing has worked. CIO is a last resort.

Now, when we let her CIO, she cries for 20 minutes, sleeps for 30. Two days ago, she cried for 5 minutes, slept for 3 hours, yesterday, she cried for 10 minutes, slept for an hour an a half. Today, she cried for 15 minutes, and slept for 20, now she's crying again.

We'd like her to be sleeping for at least an hour to an hour and a half for her naps, so we have two questions:

1. Will her crying before sleeping lessen with time?

2. If she wakes before her nap is over, should we let her keep crying back to sleep...CONT

Answer 1

Crying it out for the child gets shorter and shorter as time goes on and the nap length will increase slowly.  Good Luck.

You're doing what's best for your family.  CIO isn't right for everyone, but when it's time to do that.....it's time.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

It's really your own judgment on WHY she's crying.  If she wakes up from nap time early and cries, try and read it.  Is it an "i'm still tired" cry?  then yes, leave her in there until you feel she's gotten enough sleep.

CIO does take a while, at least a couple weeks, for the true outcome.  Crying before sleep may lessen the sleeping time, or it might tire her out and she'll sleep longer.  But, thats not really the point of CIO.

Answer 3

hmm well i think my son felt as if the crib was a prison I dottn think he liked the sides. maybe try a small bed for her with pillows around so she wont fall off or if she did at least hit somethin soft?? it seem s like she shoudl be in a regular bed or a low small bed. But I dont know since my son started co sleeping at 8 months... hes been in a bed with us?

But hes 3 now & on his way to his own bed.good luck

Answer 4

Naps were always the hard thing for me.  But at 16 months, she certainly should have 1 nice nap a day.  Yes her crying will lessen with time but I think most of what I read says it takes about 2 weeks to establish new sleep patterns.    I'd say for now, if she wakes up after 30 minutes, give her 10-15 minutes to fall back asleep and if she is still fully awake crying, end the nap.  If she is still fussing but not screaming, give it a few more.  It's a judgement call on how awake she is.

The real work is at night.  If she was a good sleeper before moving to the crib, then it is just her adjustment to the new place.  She will stop when she gets used to it.  You can either go to her and soothe her or ignore it.  I've done both and found that neither really were easy.  Don't give in and bring her into your bed again if you are serious about moving her.   You are wise to do it now instead of when the new baby comes.  

Good luck.

Answer 5

Consistency is the key.  Yes, the crying will lessen with time.  If she wakes after only 30 minutes during her nap, she needs to go back to sleep.  At 16 months she needs around 14 hours of sleep total in a 24 hour period.  When she wakes, go in an check on her.  Tell her it is still nap time.  Give her a hug, but, don't pick her up.  Let her cry for 5 minutes or so and then go back in and do the same thing.  Let her cry for 6 or 7 minutes, then go back in.  Continue until she falls asleep.  Let her sleep until she wakes.  At night, be sure you have a bedtime routine that you follow every night.  I started when my son was around 5 months.   At 16 months, try something like, dinner at 5 or 6, bath, pj's, quiet play time or book reading, bedtime between 7 and 8.  Every night.  When you put her in her crib, tell her good night, you love her, give hugs and kisses and leave.  Go in and check on her every 10 minutes until she sleeps.  If she wakes in the night, go in and check, tell her it is still night time, hugs and kisses (don't pick her up) and leave.  Remember, the less sleep she gets during the day, the more tired she will be at night and therefore it will be harder for her to go to sleep.  Being more tired at night will not make her go to sleep better or sleep longer.  It will only make her more restless.  Since she is 16 months, this may take a couple of weeks, but, she will learn that this is the way things are going to be now and she will learn to sooth herself to sleep.  I have found that nap time is very important to a good nights sleep.  Keep working on getting her to sleep at least on hour during the day, this will make night time easier.  Make sure she is not hungry, thirsty, or wet (if still in diapers) at nap time.  You are doing what is right for your family.  Please don't feel guilty for letting her cry.  Her sleeping arrangements is all she has known and is a habit.  Habits are hard to break.  It just takes time, patients and consistency.  Even after she has started sleeping better at night, there will still be times when she wakes in the middle of the night.  My son is 2 and is an excellent sleeper, but every few months we go through a week or two where he wakes in the night.  I call them growth spurts or sometimes it is new teeth coming in.  Don't worry if this happens, just contiune with what you are doing.  Remeber, if you give in once, you basically will have to start all over, so, try not to give in.  Good luck.

Answer 6

She will start crying less before she falls asleep, because she'll realize it's not helping anything.  If she wakes up in the middle, let her CIO again, it's tough with naps because you have to decide what's long enough.  You should start telling the difference between the whiny get-me-out cry and a real cry also.  It's much easier at night because you let her cry it out everytime, no worrying about how long it's been.  It might take a week or two but she will decide it's easier to not cry and your life will be much easier.  I finally did it with my son when he was 10 months and I'm so glad I did.

Answer 7

Go in and check her when you hear her crying, but to not get her up. Tell her it is still nap time and she needs to go back to sleep. The leave the room. if she is still crying after 5 minutes, go in and do the same thing again, but if it sounds like she is settling, do not go in. If you have to go in again, increase the lenght of time to 10 min , then 20, etc. unitl she goes back to sleep. Although she may not understand what you are saying, she will get the message eventually. Do not allow her to get up until she has slept the length of time you have established as nap time (1 hour or however long you think). The key is you HAVE to be consistent, no matter how hard it is, and evntually she will get it. We had to use the Ferber method with our son, and it took over a month before he was completely sleeping on his own withot crying, but it was worth is because we have had no problems since then.