Aunt and Uncle want to adopt baby raised in their home from day one.... in CA.?

Question

My sister in law moved in with us 7 1/2 months pregnant, and hiding the pregnancy, we called it on her the next day, took her to the hospital and now, we have a 15 month old we raise most of the time.....

She is my wifes sister, 22 y/o, and she doesnt go to school, as agreed when she moved in, we would help her with college, we quit paying daycare when she didnt sign up at about the babys 1 year birthday. She works a waitress job about 18 hours a week, and goes out 3-4 nights a week untill about 5am. She only cares about her daughter 1/2 the time, we do 24/7, she is just like our own child, we are 27 and dont have any kids, wife is a teacher, and I am a construction superintendant.... There is no "father" in the picture, and CA does not know who he is either, as far as we know, it is one of 2 people. And sis in law is a pot head, and thats our biggest fights....

Does anyone know if we have any way in the world to try to get custody of this baby we are in love with???? Please.

Answer 1

If she is in agreement, you can do it through a family attorney, but she will have to sign away her parental rights.  This may be difficult since she is living with you.  

Unfortunately, the only other way would be to involved children and youth (or your local social service agency).  They could possibly remove the child from her care and place the child with you in Kinship Care.  However, I would be hesitant to do this since she is living with you.  If social services feels that she is not able to raise a child, and they need to remove the child from the home, they will do just that and the child will end up in foster care.  Be careful if you explore this option.

Good luck to you.  Kudos for being such a great Aunt & Uncle!

Answer 2

Have you offered this as an option to the mother?  It'd be a lot easier if she'd just allow it to happen, or as stated earlier get a lawyer versed in family law/adoption that can tell you how to proceed to prove her unfit to care for the child as she does drugs as you put it, a pot head.  Best of wishes!

Answer 3

What does she say about all this?  Maybe she would rather have no ties, etc?  There are really only two choice regarding the birthmother:  She can sign a voluntary relinquishment, or you can try to get her rights taken away due to abuse, neglect or abandonment.  In some states, if the parent leaves the child in the care of another for one year without support, etc., there are grounds for termination.  You might try and go the CPS route, but then it may turn against you.  They may implicate you since they both live with you.  You might try to ask her to let you be legal guardians so you can add her to your insurance.  That would go a long way toward eventual adoption.  Check the laws in CA. on abc adoptions, or adoption.org -- look up laws in your state.   Now about the birthfather, he is potentially the biggest threat to your adoption plans, as he can come back and attempt to get custody almost any time.  And often, women who are into drugs like you say she is, will say they do not know or maybe they don't know who the birthfather is, but she may pit him against you if you do anything which she feels is against her.  So tread carefully there.  A birthmother AND a birthfather trying to get custody of a child together -- trouble.

Answer 4

Don't do it by force, I don't think it right to remove the mother from the child, think of her as an human being not as an animal and try to remove her puppies away from her. I think she'll fight back rather aggressively.

Answer 5

Start with contacting a lawyer who specializes in family law.  You'll want to have the mother removed from your home and the child placed in your care.  (Since the mother may not have anywhere else to go, you may be able to become foster parents for the child.)  

Of course, it would all be much easier if the mother would agree to let you adopt the child.

Answer 6

sounds like you do! Maybe the mother will come to it and realize who cares for the child and whats best for him/her good luck!

Answer 7

I about fell to the floor when I read this Question. My hubby and I have taken custody of our nice and nephew. We too started out with the mother in our home, had the baby and showed no interest. At the time my husband and I were not yet married. But that did not stop us from trying to keep him. We finally got her to go off to school for troubled kids and she could not bring him (blessing) So anyway when she came home from that she was pregnant and tried not telling anyone. Finally at 7 mo. she told everyone. We tried right away to talk her into letting us take the child. Not let this one have all the back and forth the first one had. So she tells me that "If it was a girl she would try for 6 mo." I lost it. Anyway  we now have custody of both the children. Couldn't be any happier.

But now we got her I sign a paper from our lawyer that said we could have custody. Telling her that it was only  paper work we had to have to do things like take the kids to the doctor and get them in school, witch is true. And she could get the kids back if she ever tried to. But it will be a fight to the end.   now we didn't go for adoption because it is very hard with not knowing who either father is. But now our attorney says that in about 3 more years we could. This way if we do find the father we can hit him with up to 9 years of child support.  but after about 3 mo of working with a lawyer, its all finished and we couldn't be any happier and blessed.