Autism....?

Question

I think my boyfriend's son has autism. He shows many of the signs. I have brought this up to my boyfriend a few times but I'm afraid if I bring it up anymore it will upset him. July 4th me, my boyfriend, his 2 kids & my son went out to my aunts house for a BBQ & pop fireworks. A few days later my aunt (who specialized in the education of special needs children) told me that she felt he had autism as well. My bf just says that his cousin (who has autism) is just rubbing off on him since they live together or that its just a 'phase'. His son is about to start school next month I think he should take him to the doctor to have him evaluated before then just to see. It would make things easier if he has autism. Am I right?? If so, how can I get him to understand how important it is that his son get treatment now rather than later? Is it possible for autism to be hereditary? Can kids start acting austic if they are around both children w/ autism & children that to do??

Thanks

Answer 1

I am in total agreement with the first poster. you cannot force your bf to accept things like they are. yes it is best if he gets treated in early intervention however when he gets to school and if his actions are interferring with his ability to learn then the teachers will tell them that he needs to be evaluated.

if the children are young enough then he can imitate actions of another but there comes a point where imitaion will differ from the real deal.

autism is not linked to genetics or vaccinations. there are lots of speculation but at the end of the day nothing is proven.

the best thing you can do is ask your aunt about what interventions can you do at home for this child since you didnt list his character and try them and see if it has effect and be supportive and patient with his parents. but like i said the teachers will only tell him to be evaluated if his character affects his ability to learn.

if you keep pushing it then it will become a touchy subject and could drive a wedge  in an otherwise healthy relationship. and it may turn out that he isnt autistic at all but on the aspergers spectrum or something. so just be patient and supportive and everything will work out.

Answer 2

Nobody wants to believe that their kid has autism, so it's going to take some time before he's ready to accept it. When he's in school, the teachers will realize it and recommend an evaluation.

The causes of autism are not well-understood, but each child is very different. There are some genetic factors that they're just discovering, but they still don't know enough. No, kids won't start "acting autistic" because they hang around another autistic child.

Your bf is not your husband, and he's made it very clear that he can't hear this from you. If you keep pressuring him about a topic that he's obviously finding stressful, he will be mad at you.

School starts in a couple of months, and although it's a good thing to get started sooner rather than later, a few months won't make that much of a difference. Doesn't he need to go to the doctor for a check-up anyway before school?

Here's a good article about autism:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6948119/

Hang in there, and please understand that diagnosis is a process for the entire family. Denial is part of that, and people are in denial because they're scared and they don't know if they can handle it if their kid is different.

As a woman, too, you have to understand that many of us provide the information connection for lots of our guys. They let us do the homework and they'll listen when they're ready. He's not ready.

How about the boy's mom? Are you on good enough terms to talk with her? If not, stay away from it, so you don't end up being the target of their frustration....

Remember, too, that as the gf and not even a step-mom, you don't really have a role here at all. It's frustrating, but part of the territory. I think you are probably exactly right, but try to be patient and let him go through his process.

EDIT: It sounds like you want us to tell you how you can get your boyfriend to believe you that the child has autism. He can't hear it from you. So, find a way to get someone else to talk with him. You're  probably right, but you aren't the person he can hear it from. Does that make sense?

Answer 3

Yes kids can display signs by hanging out with someone who has autisism. It is like when someone moves and all of a sudden they begin speaking with an accent.

There is not a lot you can do. You have talked to the mom and the dad of this child. The rest is up to them. Yes early diagonis is better and denial is not healthy but essentially you are not in control of this child and his medical health. You can offer advice but if you offer to much you may be removed from the situation.

Answer 4

Autism is not "rubbing off" on your bf's son.  He either has autism or he doesn't.  Early diagnosis is critical to helping his son.  He can make much better progress the earlier it is diagnosed.  I know that autism can be hereditary from mom's and dad's to their children.  Say, if parents have one child that is autistic, then the likelihood they will have another autistic child is greater.  Maybe you could get some autism info off the Internet, print it out, and show it to your bf.  Get a list of the warning signs and symptoms.  He may be in denial.  If he is autistic and starts school, the teachers will notice a problem and bring it to your bf's attention.  It would be better for him to hear it now from you.  It will probably upset him if you bring it up, but, he needs to be aware that their may be a problem.  Where is the boys Mom?  Could you talk to her?  If so, I would as soon as possible.  She may be willing to get him evaluated.

Answer 5

Not your child not your business ..the parents have to accept and see if there is a problem then they should deal with 'their' child