Avoiding Gaffes when visiting france...?

Question

I'm going to be doing a semester abroad in Paris, and I'm eager to avoid the "ugly american" stereotype. Beyond Vous/Tu, are there any other etiquette nuances that I should be aware of? I don't want to offend anyone and unfortunately text books don't teach that sort of thing.

Answer 1

Generally speaking the French are more formal than most North Americans.

In everyday speech this means appending "s'il vous plâit" to any request. It means saying "je voudrais" and not "donnez moi" when ordering from a menu. It means calling the waiter "Monsieur" and not "Garçon." It means greeting the staff at a shop with "Bonjour" (madam or monsieur as appropriate) before ordering something and saying goodbye when you leave.

The French tend to follow the older practice of not calling each other by first names or using the familiar without at least some acquaintance (although this is not so much true of young people).

The easy presumption of friendship or the discussing of personal matters with relative strangers that is common in North America is sometimes seen as boorish or crude by the French.

Americans in particular who will talk about the intimate details of their love lives, the state of their personal finances, and the cost of everything they own with someone they met ten minutes ago are, for that reason, regarded as utterly outré.

On the other hand, Americans, who have been taught to never discuss politics or religion, sometimes think they are being singled out for abuse when the French express their opinions on such matters. They are not, of course. they are simply engaging in the second most popular French indoor sport (and the one that does not usually require a bed).

[As a personal observation,  I have never hesitated to make my own opinion perfectly clear, even when it is one unpopular with the French. Despite the fact that I speak French with an obvious Canadian accent (I learned how to speak French in Montreal) I always correct people who identify me as a Quebecois and never hesitate to say I am an American. If people want to argue politics and/or current events I am happy to oblige. I have never met a worthwhile person who was offended by a sincerely held opinion that is supported with logic and facts. Some Americans seem to believe that they must meekly agree with every opinion expressed in France (or pretend to be Canadians.) to avoid being labeled an "Ugly American."  This is, in my opinion just as bad as those halfwits who routinely mouth insulting anti-French platitudes. The French are some of the most well informed and intellectual people in the world. Match them thought for thought and you'll be respected and liked.]

When in a cafe, which often seems the center of life in Paris, recall that Cafe au lait is only called that at breakfast. At other times it is "café crème " or "une crème."  If ordering the a standard tiny cup of black coffee, sound like a native by calling for "un espress."

Asking for special preparation of food items is generally frowned on as is the practice of the "doggy bag."

By law, prices must be posted in the window of cafes. You will notice that there are usually at least two price levels. One is for service at the bar (le zinc) and the other for table service. It is cheating to buy a drink at the bar and then take a table to drink it at.

Butter is served with bread only at breakfast and with the cheese course.

A little oddity...in Paris one asks for "la note" rather than "l'addition" as one does in most other parts of France and the Francophone world.

When you pay for something the person taking your money expects you to put it down, rather than taking it directly from your hand. Most places have a sort of tray on the counter expressly for this purpose.

When you're in a theater and have to go by someone to get to your seat always pass in front of them facing toward them, that is, away from the screen or the stage. It's very rude otherwise. Ushers in theaters, including movie theaters, should be tipped when they show you to your seat. A small coin is enough.

Although there are fewer and fewer of them with each passing year there are still public toilet facilities that have attendants. They should also be tipped.

When traveling on public transportation you'll notice little fold down seats close to the doors. These can be used until the subway car fills up. If and when it does become crowded you should stand up to make more room. You'll also notice that there are some seats which are identified as being for wounded war veterans, pregnant women etc. You may sit there but should give up your seat if someone in these categories needs it.

If you keep you eyes open, watch what others do, and bear in mind that even in the simplest things there can be differences, you'll do fine.

Bonne chance!

Answer 2

I'm sure there are books on the subject.

One of David Sedaris' books has a hilarious story on 2 American tourists on the metro.

as long as you are sensitive to the subject, you'll be fine.

Answer 3

Maybe capitalizing the name of a country would be a good start.

Answer 4

Lucky You!

I did a semester in England,  and visited France.  We were mostly advised to:

1.  Speak a bit of French,  even badly,  before expecting them to speak English (which they almost all do).

2.  Don't be loud.  Maybe you aren't loud,  but in general Americans are loud compared to them.  If you are with a group,  even having a great time,  don't be really loud!

3.  Don't cut in line or drive rudely (if you drive).  Be quick with the "Pardon",  when bumping into others, etc.

4.  Use your best manners.

5.  Dress as well as you can in Paris-going out in sweats will mark you for sure!

Mainly,  think of it like this-They see us as arrogant, unstylish, and rude.  Do your best to not be those things and you will be fine.

Have a FANTASTIC time!

p.s.  American females are often propositioned on the street in France.   We certainly were.  The best way to get rid of these guys is to just say you are a L*****n.  (I believe the word is the same in French).  It really works-they walk away happy,  if you don't do it,  they follow you down the street!  My French teacher totally blushed when she told us this,  but it was good advice!

Answer 5

You've already gotten a few good answers. I would just reiterate the fact that trying to speak the language goes a long way. I don't know how much if any French you speak, but at least knowing how to say "Hello", "Goodbye", "Please", "Thank you", "Do you speak English", etc is a must in my view. And that holds true not only when traveling to France, but when traveling to any part of the world where English is not the local language. You need not be self-conscious and monitor everything you do and say however. You come across as being polite and open-minded, and I'm guessing that most of your exchanges and encounters with the locals will be pleasant as a result. Have a great trip!

Answer 6

Well heres a phrase all french people can relate to

je me rends

translated it means "i surrender"