B.a.h./divorce question?

Question

so, in the dumbest move of my life i married a guy in the navy. i thought it was for love, and now im pretty sure he just wanted b.a.h. we "broke up" 2 months ago, and i moved out. i have continually and repeatedly asked him for a divorce but he refuses saying he doesnt have time or some other dumb excuse. i'd really just like to get this chapter in my life over with, but i think he is so reluctant because he'll lose b.a.h if we do divorce. is that correct? can he still get it if we do? its coming up on the 2 year mark, and if we wait any time after that, the divorce proceedings are more complicated. is there anyway he can still get his stupid money so i can get him to just divorce me already??

Answer 1

First off Jag CAN NOT file for divorce for you or him Jag can only give advice to him( what he has to give you if anything) or you( tell you what he has to provide) depending who gets to them first.

Now since you want to file for divorce and you know where he is why havent you done so? Regardless of BAH or not you dont have children, least didn't mention them. Yes his BAH and Separate rations will stop once the divorce is final, and you may be entitle to get a portion of bah until it is final but I'm not a 27D or JAG Lawyer, I have been an Army wife for over 11 yrs and a Soldier for 2, I have watched my friends divorce ... they inspired me to get my degree in Law.

so you see I am on both sides of the fence.

Answer 2

NWIP is correct - base legal is the wrong place to start.  They will be unable to help you since your spouse is not doing anything illegal.  You need to talk with a civilian Divorce Lawyer.

Go ahead and file divorce papers.  Once you talk with a lawyer and write up the papers, he will receive his copies, hand delivered from the Sheriffs/Police Department.  If he fails to act on those papers, there is nothing he can do to stop you from getting a divorce.

If he fails to do anything, the judge will review and probably make a finding in your interest and finalize the divorce (even without his approval).  In most states, one spouse cannot stop the other spouse from a divorce.  I'm sure California is one of those states.

In the meantime, go to his commanding officer and fill them in on what is happening.  You'll be surprised how fast he will react when he is called to the floor.  His commanding officer will probably also strongly request that he is giving you some $ support while you are separated.

Answer 3

Go talk to his commanding officer.  That'll get him straightened out FAST.

Answer 4

i'm an army spouse, so i think its the same way.

First of all, you need to contact the bases' law office, and file for it through them (its free) and then, you can press the issue that you have not been living there, and have not used the basic housing allowence. And sometimes they give you like 6 months, (for you) to get adjusted back to cilivian life, but if you weren't living there, and you let them know that, they can make him pay it back out of his check for shamming the pay like that.

i suggest you call the base tomorrow, and do it yourself.

Answer 5

tell him your going to write his commanding officer and tell him he is drawing money that he no longer deserves, and he won't follow Thur with the divorce, believe me you will get fast results, getting money that you don't have authorization for is grounds for courts martial.

Answer 6

I just recently got divorced from a Navy guy. You can not go to the military legal for help. They do not deal with "domestic" problems. I went to a legal service and filed myself. You can go to your county courthouse and if you don't have kids you can purchase a "kit" where they give you all the paperwork and information you need to start the process. If you aren't working or not working much your courthouse may be able waive the court fees to pay to file.

As to if he will still get BAH...depends on his rank. If he is E-4 and below he will lose his BAH and be forced into barracks. If he is E-5 he will get BAH still..but not as much.

When I moved out the divorce still wasn't final and if I wanted to really s***w my ex over I could have contacted his command. You can find out his Commanding Officer, let them know you no longer live in the house with him and see what your options are.

You don't have to ask him..if he says no when you file the court will serve him and he has to show up to court to contest it...for whatever reason. If he does not read the papers and does not appear in court the court will view it as "in agreement" or "non-contested" and everything you asked for in the decree will be yours. However, even with the court date he will have "x" amount of days to contest it. But in your divorce papers you can put that if he contests it he will have to pay any additional court costs and your lawyer fees. That's what I did. If he does not sign the papers, every time he has to get served...he has to pay.

Again, the base legal will not help you. The only thing they can do is look over the papers to make sure everything is valid. Beyond that...they will turn you away. Just google Legal services in the area and you may be able to find a service that will pretty much do all the paperwork for you and charge you (about $250).  

Answer 7

Why are you worried about if he get Basic Allowance for Housing? If he has dependents then he will get BAH, if not then no, he will not.

Get a lawyer and get a divorce! He does not have to be the one to file for it. That is the way to end this chapter in your life. The Navy does not grant divorces, the courts do!

Answer 8

Yes, if you get divorced he will lose his BAH.  BUT, since you moved out 2 months ago he should have let the finance department know of this information.  That is, if he is not providing you any financial support.  If he's not giving you money, then he shouldn't be getting the BAH.  Once they find out about the living situation and all the gov't will take every dime he owes them.  He'll get caught, it's just a matter of time.  

If you want to report it then I would contact the legal office, finance office, or his commander.  I'm going to guess you still have a dependent ID card, thus allowing you access to the base.  I would go to the base and ask them where the legal office is at and let them direct you from the gate.

Answer 9

I suggest you should discuss this matter with a lawyer, rather than soliciting opinions from strangers.

Call a lawyer, set up a meeting (which should be free in the first case) and discuss the whole issue.

Whilst this might be very difficult for you right now, I am sure you'll find that the scenario you describe has been seen many times by a lawyer and he or she will be able to advise you correctly. Good luck!

Answer 10

he sounds like a d**k. just go to  a judge and explain to him or her whats going on. they will help you out. they hate it when husbands do that stuff.

Answer 11

Base legal cannot help you in anyway with the divorce, for that you will need a civilian lawyer.

If he is living off base and is above E5 then he will not have a problem staying out in town but the BAH rate will drop to BAH without (w/o) dependents.  Usually if they are E4 it may be approved by the CO for him to continue to live out in town.  

Answer 12

why wait for him.. get a divorce yourself.

if he is below E5, yes he will lose BAH when the divorce is final.   if he is above E5 he will get BAH at the Single rate if he lives off base.  

BTW..he will get into MORE trouble when they find out he committed marriage fraud and only married to get BAH.  

be advised that JAG can only advise you..they cannot represent you in any way shape or form.. they do NOT do civil court cases.

Answer 13

The Command Judge Advocate General's information for Naval Base San Diego is:

Naval Base San Diego

Command Judge Advocate

The Command Judge Adovcate (CJA) is the legal advisor to the Commanding Officer, Naval Base San Diego, in the following areas: military justice matters (NJPs, courts-martial, administrative separations, JAGMAN investigations), civil law (service of process, delivery of personnel, auto repossessions, base privilege suspension/barring orders), Freedom of Information Act, congressionals, and ethics.

Contact Information Phone

Command Judge Advocate 619-556-2787

Civil Law 619-556-2784

And yes, he is stalling you to keep his BAH, since this is for him being able to live with YOU. If he is divorced, he will have to move back into the Barracks/Dorm with his shipmates.

You will need to contact the Civil Law number. And YOU need to contact them first! Do it TOMORROW!