BABY ON THE WAY nervous about my mom coming to visit when I have my baby.PLEASE HELP!!!?

Question

make a long story short my husband works for a mining comp and we get transfered alot. we have moved to 3 different states in 5 years. My mother in- law does not want to be with out my husband so she has made her husband leave jobs to move where ever we move.(crazy right) Well with out them working me and my husband have paid for all three of there moves and supported them for the last 5 years. I am 29 years old have been married for 8 years and have a 13 year old son. I have never been able to really enjoy my family because of her.

OH IM NOW 37 WEEKS PREGNANT . I have not been able to see my mom in 4 years and she is coming to visit. but I am scarred because my mother in law says that she is been more of a mother to me than my own mom. because she has lived with me and my mother has not. and what advise could my mom really have to give to me. I already know there is going to be conflict. my mother in law is a very jeolous person. she even hates when I talk on the phn w/ my mom HELP!

Answer 1

I think you should sit them down and tell them that if they both claim to love you they would get along just for the time that your mom is here and also i think you should tell them to do it for the sake of your kid and unborn son because you dont want them thinking that your family cant get along.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, you and your husband have created a monster. You never should have started supporting them and paying for them to move with you. You are adults, as are they, if they want to move they can finance it themselves.

You are going to need to start standing up to her, even in small ways. What was your response when she made that comment about how she is "more of a mother to you"? My response would have been "Oh no, I love you but no one could ever take my mother's place in my heart." You cannot play into your MIL's jealousies. If she chooses to be jealous of your relationship with your mom, then that is her choice.

You need to sit down with your husband and discuss how you are going to start setting boundaries with them, so that you can enjoying your life. You should also make a plan to stop supporting them, over time, because your responsibility is to your children, you need to be saving for their future.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I guess your MIL is going to have to come to term with the idea that you have your own mother. I'm not that close with my mother, but she is still MY mother. My MIL will never ever take her place. I have a similar problem...MIL thinks that she can show up anyone and everyone. She finally back off when it came to my mom though. Just stand your ground and make sure your mom does too. Your MIL will get it in her head eventually.

Good luck to you on the visit and the baby coming

Answer 4

well what i think you should do is

tell ur husben to tell his mom that she needs to back off

and next time you guys move just move and tell t hem u want to start a new life use u guys and they can come visit

when ur mom comes just here her out act like its all new to you or whatever

and go out to lunch or dinner or both  just the 2 off u to spend time with eachother because you guys have not seen eachother in a really long time ..then another night out u your son your husben and UR MOM! go out to eat leave the in laws that home because YOU ARE LIVING UR LIFE! not there life . YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH WHO YOU WANT THEY DONT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THERE

your grown you have a life if she doesnt like it to bad im sorry but really  they need to get over it !  spend time with ur mom do whatever u want imn life dont let ur in laws take over