BACHELORETTE Party/Maid of Honor!! HELP?

Question

Okay, so Im the Maid of Honor for my Best Friends Wedding, and the Bachelorette party is this Friday, and It kind of came out of no where, but we are going to this strip of bars, and theres around 10 people coming, I told everyone to wear black, and for the Bride to wear white...Okay soo here is my problem, The Best Man is g*y, and he is coming out with us too...and he is trying to take over, like buying stuff for the party, and I am just getting a little irritated by the fact he is doing that, he is also a good friend, but how do I tell him in a nice way to back off, even if he is g*y, shouldnt mean he can take over the party...am I being to B*tchy about this?

Answer 1

No matter if he is g*y or straight this is a party for the BRIDAL party not the girls plus the g*y.

Sit and talk to him.  Be polite and let him know, yeah, you know you weren't there for the shower but this is your time to make it up to her and you would appreciate it if you had priviledge of being able to do this for her.

Hopefully, if he's understanding, he'll back off and let you, the maid of honor, take over.

:-)

Best of Luck

Answer 2

You should be thankful he is around. Think about it, he is spending his money and putting lots of thought into something therefore making less stress and responsibility for you. Talk to him and plan this without him so it can be an awesome bachellorete party that your friend will never forget

Answer 3

Sounds like he stepped up when you were dropping the ball. Be grateful and enjoy the experience. :-)

Answer 4

Well, first of all I don't think he needs to go...this is for the bridal party, not the groom's party.  So, he's getting to do the bachelor and the bachelorette?  I think it would be fair to nicely uninvite him.  Tell him it's nothing personal, but you want to make this special for her and it's for the gals.  If that's not an option, think about simply confronting him about what's bothering you.  Let him know YOU  are the maid of honor and you really want to make this special.  Lie if you have to ....tell him you have some special ideas planned that you'd rather not discuss (surprises) and that his ideas are conflicting with them.  Remind him that he gets to plan another party...this one is yours.  Exaggerate---tell him this really means a lot to you because you haven't had this opportunity before...idk.

I don't think it's b*tchy at all.  When I was in a wedding party, I had all the responsibilities of the maid of honor but not the title...it rubbed me the wrong way.

Good luck.  Remember, honest is the best policy.  If he starts to get defensive, remind him that you aren't trying to start anything with him...you just want this to be your own.

Answer 5

So more than likely, he doesn't realize that he is taking over. He's probably excited to be involved and just trying to help.

That being said, he still shouldn't be taking over. Just talk to him and explain to him that you really appreciate his help but you are starting to feel like he's planning it not you. Don't blame him, because that just only makes stuff worse. He'll probably feel a little bad so ask him to help you with things and delegate specific jobs to him. But if he starts taking control again, call him out on it.

If you don't feel comfortable taking a straightforward approach, use the joking method. Joke about how he is the best man but trying to take over the maid of honor duties. He'll probably get the hint that you're feeling pushed out of the way.

Whatever you do though, just remember to be sensitive of his feelings and that he's probably coming from a good place and it will be fine!

Answer 6

I don't think you're being nasty about it at all.  You have a certain plan for this special event and it's being invaded.  Just tell g*y guy that you appreciate all his input, but you have everything covered and taken care of.  Let him know you have a specific itenerary and there's no room (or time) for change.  He'll understand since he's one of the gals.

Answer 7

No reason why he can't help. Money is tight for everyone, if he wants to buy stuff, let him. Just talk to him about it and be sure you two are on the same page.

EDIT:

So what does him helping out and buying things have to do with her NOT being able to have a good night?

Ok, so you were away at school, big deal, the party isn't about you planning it, the party is about all her friends getting together and celebrating this new step in her life, helping her let loose one last time as a single women and just being there to support her and show her we will support her in as the embarks on a new life.

Answer 8

if he is the best man, g*y or not, why is he going to the batchelorette?

Just tell him nicely you love the help but you have been planning this and if he can just check withy ou before doing anything else since you are the MOH

Answer 9

Its girls night not the boys night. He is the Best Man, he should be throwing a party for the groom. Its got nothing to do with sexual orientation, its got everything to do with Boys and Girls. So tell him that unless the p***s is gone, he is still on the grooms side of things and he should back off.

Answer 10

I don't understand why the best man (the GROOM's attendant) is coming to the bride's bachelorette party, g*y or not. But it sounds like he's already bent on attending, so just say, "Hey Joe, thanks so much for your help. I think this is everything we need - see you on Friday!"

And if he continues to do things, just let it go. It isn't worth arguing over. The bride is going to be surrounded by friends and will have a great time. But if the maid of honor and best man are pissed at each other all night, she's going to feel lousy. Be the bigger person. Don't sweat the small stuff.