BATTERY FARMING .......... am I doing something wrong ?

Question

Ever one to see a gap in the market, I had built a Battery farm on the upper fields......... So far no joy whatsoever....... I planted Duracell and Eveready in 1" of freshly matured manure, and watered thoroughly...... yet nothing.......

help please........

Answer 1

my good man every one knows that you have to plant a pp3 at the end of each row, and make sure none of those common other batteries are planted as they drain the life of the other batteries.

Answer 2

I was once given the worksheet for a vehicle that said 'flat battery', I wrote on the sheet, 'Battery checked and found to be correct shape' Your problem arises in that you are trying to grow alkalines in an acid soil, try car batteries you may have more luck.

Answer 3

If you planted them in crop circles you may have shorted them out?

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Answer 4

Did you plant them end to end alternating positive and negative charges? Your AAs should be producing little AAAs in no time.

Answer 5

maybe you planted them too deep.. batteries should only be planted 1/4 inch below soil level.. also DO NOT over water!!!

I used to have a big Battery Farm, the kind with the pink bunny.. but look what  happened!!!

http://www.picable.com/Concepts/Humor/Da...

as a result I switched to carrot farming... so far that isnt going as planned either.. take a look.. I am gonna market them as replacement for Viagra

http://www.picable.com/Nature/Plants/Geo...

Answer 6

You should not be doing your own planting me Lord , not very gentlemanly.

Answer 7

It is the mixing of the brands that has thrown you out. Pick one and stick to that. I recommend Duracell's. Mind you, they do pay me to try and promote their batteries during social conversations, so I am not unbiased on this matter old boy.

Answer 8

Do not continue Count. I did and I became addicted to it. Eventually I joined AA but it was too big so I joined AAA.

All I will advise is plenty a salt with batteries.

http://www.fawn.me.uk/

Answer 9

Dang it Count, didn't you read the latest research, Duracell and Eveready do great in American soil!  

We got no idear how well they do over on the east side of the pond.  Did you plant any of them Ainglash, Irish or Scottish varieties to see if they'll do better then the american varieties in your soil type???