BBQ: no one wants to help with food!?

Question

My husband and I are doing a housewarming to show our friends/family our house and decided to do like a potluck bbq (because our families are way too huge for us to buy all that food). The problem is, not that it's almost the day of the bbq...everyone is either backing out or not wanting to bring what they originally offered to bring.

should I call everyone (even though I asked them to rsvp) and check my numbers to make sure we have enough food?

would it be wrong to ask "what are you bringing?" so we can make sure everything is prepared?

I dont want to seem like a selfish jerk or that I'm hurting for food but we can't afford to buy EVERYTHING for that many people and I'd hate to not have enough.

Any advice on how to do this without looking bad?

Thanks!

Answer 1

Don't say anything. Take note of those who didn't bring the food and don't invite them in the future.

Answer 2

yeah i would defintly call them. its rude for them not to bring anything when they know you cannot afford it espeically after buying a new home. pot lucks are more fun too

Answer 3

In terms of "proper" etiquette you shouldn't be calling anyone back.  You sent out invitations...it is up to the guest to RSVP.  It is improper to call.  BUT...since this is an informal BBQ potluck type of situation and you said that people are suddenly changing their minds you may actually be forced to start making "polite and cheerful" phone calls just to check on the status and "see what they are bringing and if they are coming".  Economically  times are harder now than usual but typically people shouldn't plan such events if they cannot afford them.  Please do not misinterpret me as rude, I am giving straight out etiquette advice.  You won't look bad because you planned an informal "potluck BBQ", it actually is your guests who are being selfish and rude by not RSVPing and not telling you what they are bringing.  Get on that phone and get that party together.  Enjoy yourself and don't stress so much that you don't enjoy the day!!!  Good luck!!!

Peace & Love :)