BIG problem. Boyfriend has cancer, and I really want to have his baby... is this wrong?

Question

I'm 18, he's 21, he doesn't have much longer, he just told me tonight, and I love him to death. I'll give up anything to have him in my life, is it wrong for me to have his baby? Knowing that he's not going to be around, but knowing that he'll live on through our child?

Answer 1

I think you should consider (you being the one left behind with your whole life in front of you to live) - are you going to be fair to yourself in doing so.  I know that this is not what you want to hear at this stage, but consider being a single mom at 18 - it's hard.

Answer 2

I can kinda bear with you here. I'm 15 and pregnant. On top of that, I have chronic leukemia. I was always so against abortion, and thats something I would never in my life do, if I didnt have to. The thing was, I know the father isn't supportive of me having a child, as it was unplanned. What you have to do is sit down and think...

Would seeing your child's face every morning, make you miss him more? And make you upset?.... that wouldn't be fair to the child.

Say if something were to happen to you, would you have family that would be able to look after the child?...because chances are he wont be there.

Would him having a baby on the way, keep him hurting through his cancer? If he were going to pass, I don't think he'd want his last thought to be that he's leaving you and his unborn child behind... I could be wrong though.

It's a very hard decision, and theres no "wrong choice", but i think you should sit and think long and hard about it.

Good luck.  

Answer 3

That is something you really need to ask yourself.  Consider it.  Look at from every angle including the babies.  I mean if you feel that strongly about it and feel like you are strong enough to handle it by all means do it.  It is a tough choice to make.  

Answer 4

Hmmm, Yeah it would be a bit unfair on the child bringing it into this world knowing it is going to be without a father. I would celebrate your boyfriends life in other ways.

Answer 5

you should talk to him about it

Answer 6

Only you will know for sure. Are you ready to raise his child without him? Will you be able to support yourself? I don't think it's wrong really but you have to think about the kind of life you want to give that baby. If you are ready to do it on your own then it's great. My friend's father had cancer and the one thing that keep him going for months was that he had grand babies on the way.

=)

Answer 7

that is something only you and him can answer if it is the right thing to do. can you support a child on your own? good luck with whatever happens and i am sorry about the situation. please also think about the emotional stress you will go thru when your bf passes and how that may effect an unborn baby.

Answer 8

Wow thats up to you guys to decide. I mean do you think at 18 you can handle being a single parent i mean i know he is sick and all but can you honestly step back put your feelings aside and make a clear choice on whether your relationship would have even lasted even with him not being ill? if so then the next step is can you raise this child alone? because you are still young and just because he is sick is no reason to unfairly bring a child into the picture or have him be fatherless! I think you really need to talk to your family and boyfriends family and then make a proper choice in the matter. It might make things more painful for his parents!