Baby's Daddy has no clue!?

Question

So I am 7.5 weeks prego and I've been extremely emotional lately and sad and getting tired a lot.. which, is perfectly normal. My boyfriend/baby's dad just doesn't get it.. he tells me that the only reason i'm acting this way is because i know i'm pregnant and that if i didn't know i wouldn't be acting this way. He tells me I'm dramatic.. it's like he doesn't understand a d**n thing! It's our first child and I don't know how to get him to understand.. I tried buying him a daddy-to-be book and he completely vetoed it.. how is supposed to learn if he won't even try.. he's being horribly self centered.. he's more worried about what's happening to him than to me... ahhh!

Answer 1

because guys think us women like attention. i think alot of guys are this way...my bf surely was at first...the way they see it is, your not showing, u look the same as before so you should be acting the same way as before. they dont consider you pregnant til you LOOK pregnant...give it time, he will warm up to it...now that i have a big tummy my boyfriend babies me and is so nice =]

Answer 2

He sounds like a jerk and like he doesnt want a baby - or to deal with your pregnancy. I think you might be feeling sorry for yourself a little too much considering your only 7 weeks and think your emotions are out of control now... wait til you in your 30 + weeks pregnant. If he is such an insensitive jerk I would rather kick him to the curb and be a single Mother then be with him and unhappy forever. Just my opinion.

Answer 3

Hi! I had to go through something similar with my boyfriend. I kept "making" arguments (I was very emotional and I was the one looking for trouble, I admit... But I'm not that way usualy and I kinda blame the pregnancy hormones)... I explained to him that he had to be the patient one during those tough times --after all, he's getting ready to be a daddy, and being patient sure will help. I explained exactly how I felt and told him that if he wasn't man enough to understand and handle this situation, he'd be sleeping in the doghouse.

Not only did my bf understand ... Now when I go nuts he smiles and nods, like he's thinking "she's so cute when she gets mad" :P

Good luck with that... you have enough to deal with without having to make everything up to him!!

Answer 4

if he is normally a caring person then It could be he is just scared. It really puts alot of pressure on because maybe he is thinking "how can I provide and be a good dad" etc ...

Keep trying to explain how your emotions are not just you being dramatic, your hormones are everywhere right now. After he starts getting a little more at ease with it then you can start getting the baby books and things like that.

Try to get him to tell you how he is feeling so you can understand where he is coming from.

Good luck

Answer 5

I'm guessing this isn't his only thing he's ever done to be a jerk.

You have some very serious decisions to make here.

A real man reads up on what it takes to be a parent, and tries his hardest.  This isn't the case here.

Honestly, you will be better off without him.  But it makes it very sticky when there's a baby involved, but what's done is done.

Leave him, file for child support, or put the baby up for adoption, whichever is best for the BABY now.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, it sounds like you're seeing the real him, but too late.

If he is this ignorant now, I wouldn't anticipate him getting any "smarter" as time passes.

Answer 7

Well, Mom, sorry to say but it sounds like you and this baby are going to have a lot in common.  One being and absent father/husband.

Do your thing.  Don't count on this shmuch.

Answer 8

And aren't you guilty of the same thing -- aren't you more interested in what's happening to you than to him?

It can be difficult for new fathers-to-be to adjust to their partners' pregnancies, and they don't always handle it perfectly.  Remember that although you are going through a lot of changes right now, he can't feel or experience any of them and it all seems very strange to him.  You are changing in front of his eyes, and he's afraid of losing the woman he knows and loves and having her replaced with this new crying, sick, expanding-around-the-middle version.  Also, men tend to worry more about the pregnancy and new baby will affect their lives -- they fear that they will have to give up their hobbies, interests, friends, etc once the baby comes.  You can help him meet you halfway by reassuring him that his life doesn't have change for the worse, and that you are still the same woman he fell in love with.  Try to make sure that the pregnancy/baby is not the topic of every conversation you have -- try to go a day or more without even mentioning it.  Ask him to compromise with you -- tell him that it's important to you that he read a book for daddys-to-be, and tell him that you'd like to do something that's important to him in return, and then listen with an open mind to what he asks of you.  Good luck!