Baby Sleep - Absolutely Ridiculous?

Question

I have finally lost it. After 13 months of being involved in perhaps the worst sleep situation with a baby I could ever imagine, I have finally lost it. I want to know others experiences with this kind of problem and what they have done. To those of you who were able to SOLVE the problems yourself, unless you did something very out of the ordinary, I am not interested in the white noise/cry it out/take them off breast milk way of solving it. The deepness of this problem is so far beyond being solved by anything of this nature it is not worth my time. I want to know about sleep clinics or those kinds of thing. Our baby has had a sleep pattern that, in 13 months, has lead to 2 nights where he has slept 7 consecutive hours, a handful where he has achieved 5, and the rest vary from him being up 4-10 times a night, to nights where he simply never goes to sleep. For the past 12 nights straight he is up 4 times from 9pm to 1 am. From 1am to 7am he does not sleep. He does not nap more than 45 minutes, and the nap is now only once a day. At one point he was getting a few 2-3 hour stretches over night and this was fine for us, though we thought it was abnormal. Right now I have completely lost it. I am not about to have my wife continue to put her life at risk by sleeping almost not at all. I can not take care of him, because when I do, he screams to the point of being completely unraveled and is not responsive to me. No, he is not hungry...No he does not want to play. No his room is not noisy, not hot, and not cold. He simply wants his Mom. I am here all the time, as I work from home, but when he is sick/sleeping poorly, he simply does not want me, and I have had it. We are now letting him scream in the crib because we are out of options and I have given up. She ends up tossing and turning with him on the couch every night because in our bed he moves around so much in his sleep it is impossible to deal with, and our bed is not that big. That is another thing...Some other things to describe our baby...He is EXTREMELY hyper - When he is up he NEVER stops moving. He is insatiable as far as eating, but will be satisfied. He is on solids of all different food groups. He works everything off though as he does not stop moving, and when he sleeps, he is so restless that we are convinced he is up, but he is sleeping, so I am thinking he is sometimes rolling over in the crib, hitting the side, and waking himself up, as sometimes we go in there and find him wedged in the corner.

Does anyone have experience with a baby who sleeps 45 minute stretches over night, and sometimes is up the whole night (not colicky), who has seeked medical attention for the baby. I want to know your experience, what you did, and how you went about it.

Thank You

Barry

Answer 1

Wow, you really sound like you and your wife have your hands full. While I was reading this, it reminded me of my sister situation with her son. Hes now 18 and he was like that as a baby. Hes only 13 months old so the doctor will not be able to diagnose him with this but my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. He was always hyper and hardly ever slept, he still doesnt sleep much and is now on sleeping pills for it. Have you two consulted his pediatrician about this? He could refer you to someone who can help out in your situation. At the time when my nephew went through this, it was 18 years ago and they just considered it colic or just poor sleep habits that he will grow out of. I really hope you can get some better answers though!

Answer 2

You should absolutely consult a sleep clinic.  You are obviously at the breaking point.  Do this before you do something you regret.  Please.  In the meantime, perhaps you could hire a sitter/nanny to tend to the baby at night, while you and your wife sleep.  At least a few nights a week.

Answer 3

this could have been me 13 years ago!!  i'm sorry i don't have any easy answers, but i wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  When my son was a baby he was the exact same way.  I can remember very clearly wondering why on earth this child would not sleep no matter what.  Well, i take that back---he slept very well if i sat up and held him!  Up until the day i had #3 (when he was 14 mo's old) i spent every single night sitting on the couch holding him so he would sleep.  I tried letting him cry it out--the little bugger would cry and scream for hours on end.  I tried rocking, singing, reading to him, trying to feed him...you name it, i tried it.  He would be absolutely sound asleep, but the minute i laid him down he popped that head up and that was it--he was up.  We finally, at 14 mo's bought him a toddler bed and put him in our room.  At that point, he slept.  I never figured out what the problem was though and to be honest, it never crossed my mind to seek outside help.  I truly wish you and your wife the very best of luck dealing with this.  I know it's not easy.  

Answer 4

did you talk to his dr !

Answer 5

try to wrap the baby around in a blanket or something with your scent.  

Answer 6

Hi,

I think the most important thing to start with is to get your baby into a good sleep routine.  I had massive problems with getting my 4 month old son to sleep.  He would just lie awake and cry for hours, then when he finally went to sleep he would wake every hour or two hours through the night and cry again!  Talk about pulling our hair out .... we were absolutely desperate for sleep!

It was a baby sleep audio program recommended by a friend that finally saved us. We followed the advice and began by creating a baby sleep routine which included bathtime, dimming of the lights, putting James into his crib, final nappy change and then lullabies. We also made recommended changes to his naps during the day and used some of the other recommended techniques. Within two weeks he was sleeping through the night most nights with just the odd night where he would just wake once!

Definitely start by creating a good baby sleep routine though and you could find that solves most of your baby sleep problems.

Good luck!

Answer 7

WOW! I know that both my boys never slept threw the night until they was 3 years of age. They was up at least 4 times a night but they would at least sleep 3 hours at a time. I would say take him to the doctor and see what the doctor says. Maybe something is wrong with him that is causing this. Hope you find a solution.

Answer 8

I know this might seem weird, but have you tried swaddling?  When my daughter is at her tiredness, she simply cannot hold still, and swaddling makes her stay still long enough to stay asleep.  I know he's 13 months old, but there are more parents swaddling at later ages.

My mom said once that one of my brothers did this though and they finally let him stay up just to see what he'd do.  He stayed up until 2am.  :P  

In any case... I'd consult a sleep consultant if possible.  This one is pretty expensive, but she has some you-tube videos and some "common mistakes" and such that may help.

Answer 9

My oldest son was exactly like that and the Dr's kept saying to just let him cry it out or give him a snack before bed to keep him happy, blah blah blah.  Well now he is 6 years old and they finally diagnosed him with PDD and ADHD goes along with PDD problems and now for the first time since he was born he is actually sleeping more thanks to medications to mellow him out some. He still moves around in bed and falls out of bed a lot but he doens't wake up as much, maybe twice to go to the bathroom and get some water.  He was just always so hyper and couldn't seem to sleep like his mind was always racing.    He did have a sleep study done which showed he has a short REM cycle of sleep which causes him to wake more than the average person.

Answer 10

OMG...I feel sooo bad for you.  You sound like you are completely at your wits end.  I'm sorry, but I have not experienced this.  Have you talked to your pediatrician about this?  Perhaps he can recommend a sleep clinic of some sort.  I'm not into the whole medicating your children for sleep purposes, but your situation sounds extreme.  Maybe you need to seek a specialist to see if he may need some sort of mild sleep aid.  I know that sounds horrible, but he could have a form of insomnia.  IDK...Your situation sounds really out of the ordinary.  If he was 2-6 months, I would think that what he's doing makes sense, but a 1 year old should be getting 9-12 hours a sleep a day in order to grow and function.  Good luck and I hope you find a solution to your situation.