Baby before? or after marriage??

Question

Ok, so me an a good friend have completely different opions on this and I'd like to see what you guys think!! She is a aunt of a few neices and nephews, and she is also engaged. She I guess you could say has Baby fever, and really wants one. The only down fall on her side is, her parents would freak, it would be harder for her and her fiance to buy a house. I believe that a baby should come after marriage, and that way they would have more money to put to a house, and a wedding, and even to save for later when they do have kids. whats your thought?? Is it ok to have kids before marriage? AND how do you get rid of baby fever??

Answer 1

AFTER marriage!! she should get her baby fix by visiting or babysitting friends kids.  

Answer 2

regardless of whether the baby is born before or after marriage does NOT mean the baby will have a bad life or bad parents... I had a baby at 19 and at 22 and not to toot my own horn, I am a d**n good mother. I work full time, and support my kids very well. I was not married for either child, but have been with my bf for awhile and he is the father of both of my children. Its perfectly normal and ok to have a baby and not be married. It doesnt make a person a bad parent. Some people are VERY stable without being married. Some people already have the house, good job, great income, and everything else and have kids... some pregnancies are unplanned, and some are planned but marriage shouldnt be a factor....love is the only factor when having a baby. Being able to love and support a baby regardless of the situation!

edit- i wish people would understand that a baby is a blessing, not a curse... some of these answers make having a baby seem like a horrible thing. A baby will only effect a relationship if the relationship wasnt working to begin with!

Answer 3

I think you should be married..but that is just my opinion. I don't look down on anyone who has a baby and is not married..I just wanted to be married first.

Answer 4

Ive been with the same man for 8 yrs.. and we have a 2yr old.. we are not "legally" married... we own a home that was bought 6 months after we had out daughter and it did not make it any harder...  if having a baby would make it more difficult for them to buy a house then they shouldnt be buying a house in the first place... and as for the parents you have to respect they're beliefs.. but its 2008 not the 1950's... as for baby fever... buy her a puppy :)

Answer 5

You can';t get rid of baby fever, she is just ready to be a mom.  I also think that it is a personal decision to have kids whenever.  I have my baby and I am not married.  As long as they can provide for the baby and have a stable relationship then I think it is fine for her to have the baby.  

Answer 6

I think if it is an accident before marriage then fine, but I don't believe you should get preg. on purpose. A child adds tons of complications, and arguments to a relationship, and so does the first year of marriage I could only imagine what it would be like to deal with both at once. I feel people should spend time getting to be together as a couple and then after a few years of marriage have a baby. As for the baby fever thing, I say volunteer to watch someones baby overnight for them so they can have an evening alone, that's enough to make anybody think twice.

Answer 7

Aperson shuold wait untill after marriage for all the reasons u mentioned above, having money and a house. Besdies I dont think anyone wants their kids at their wedding. lol  

Answer 8

I think that it's fine to have a baby whenever you want to have a baby. Single mom, single dad, married mom and dad, engaged mom and dad, 2 moms, 2 dads, whatever.

I think love and stability matters much more than marital status. As long as you are supporting the baby, then there is no reason that you should have one.

And you should never let your parents feelings change your decisions on when to have a child. If my parents had their way, I would have never had my son, who is now 2, and I would never have any more children, which I will.

Answer 9

Baby fever never goes away! I have a 5 month old and want another! You just have to be strong and out-weigh the outcomes. With my first I wasn't married, with my second I was. I wish I would have waited to have my first but what can you do!? Cant really turn back the hands of time! But I really think you should wait to have kids until after marriage unless you really want kids!

Answer 10

After marriage for me.  I was raised to believe that you go to college, start a career, get married, and THEN you have children.  I think its best this way because the child is then born into a financially stable situation, and they have a mom and a dad who have commited to each other.  i personally have never understood how a person can commit to having a child with a person that that cant even commit to marry.    I guess im just a traditional gal:)

Answer 11

Oh, after marriage, totally. I agree with you 100%. It's harder to support a baby while you don't have a house and you don't have enough money for the baby.