Baby daddy has gotten another girl pregnant?

Question

Help! I have a 13 month old son, and me n his dad broke up twice in the last 3 months. Christmas of this year he asked me to marry him and we got engaged, i love him with all my heart. Somewhere in that 3 months he met a girl, i found out about her 3 weeks ago. He denied her of course, she isnt attractive and she isnt very intelligent. (spelling errors, grammar etc. via messaging) She messaged me on facebook telling me she wanted to let me know shes pregnant. From the beginning of the week before she messaged me, bdaddy was trying to get back with me. She has let me know that bdaddy has asked her to get an abortion, she claims he loves her and he is quick to dismiss her comments about him loving her. he claims he loves me, and he made the biggest mistake of his life, he wants to get bak 2gether and he has been crying quietly to himself whenever he comes to visit our son. the girl says she doesnt want him in her baby's life and that shes moving away and doesnt want bdaddy. but I know she loves him and she said she will take him to court for $. My bdaddy wants nothing to do with her or the baby, and is very remorseful for everything. this girl told me that she thought she couldnt get pregnant due to a failed pregnancy and the removal of parts. She also told him this. She has told me that he has said to her "Its him or the baby" and that he gave her this ultimatum. She chose to move to another city to raise the baby with her ex fiance. He is really trying to connect with me again and is wanting me to take him back. I dont know what I should do? I know everyone makes mistakes, and i really love him. SIgned: Hurt Babymomma

Answer 1

for starters how could u be with a man knowing he has another child out there somewhere that he is not taking care of regardless of child support???? he choose to have s*x with her without a condom now he needs to man up matters if she claim she couldnt get preg or not she is now and he's wrong for telling her to get an abortion just b/c he has finally decided he wants to be with u? u speaking to somebody how has been there and heard all this..been with my hubby 6 yrs married 11 months and i have a 3yr step son so yea u do the math! if yall want it to work it can it aint about u, yo bd, and his other bm its about the kids.....i cant stand my hubby's bm but we get along for OUR sons sake...

Answer 2

What happened to getting married first before you have s*x? You live what you sow.

Answer 3

Stupid babydaddy!  Poor babymamma:(

It will be okay:)

Answer 4

please don't be stupid enough to take him back!  he didn't love/respect you enough to keep it in his pants before, what in the world makes you think he will now?  move on, go to court for child support, and find a good man who won't whip it out just because someone has their legs open.

Answer 5

you could probably get some great advice going thru the millions of others that are in this very same predicament, right here in Y!A.

i'm sorry to be a d*ck - but i'm gettin' really tired of hearing this story.

Answer 6

Time for him to GO!!!!.  Apparently this man has a problem keeping his pants zipped.  Unfortunately for you some men can't be with one woman.  You are also opening yourself up to getting a STD. Baby Daddy is not using protection and is risking your health.  I had a jerk do the same and hes caused me $100's of dollars in medical bills plus my sanity.  You are better off without him and there are alot more resources for a single mom.  good luck to you.

Answer 7

Move on.. He is trifling and he is putting you at risk by not using protection. If you take him back get use to dealing with his other ignorant baby mother and get use to you son having more siblings.  

Answer 8

First off I hope she does take him to court for child support weather or not he wanted the baby..He should of thought about all chances before having s*x with her..Second off if she truly did not want him in her child's life she would not take him to court for money, and if he is paying child support he has every right to see the baby..second off you need to think about if this is the man you want to be with for the rest of your life..seems like there are things he is not telling you the truth about..You both need to sit down and talk..and yes people make mistakes and some should be forgiven..Also he needs to make sure he gets a paternity test done asap after the baby is born!  

Answer 9

cut his p***s off

Answer 10

Was this an official engagement or a fake engagement? Do you know the difference? It's not whether or not you have a ring. It's whether or not you have set a date. Otherwise, you're just a girlfriend (or F/Buddy) with a ring on your finger.

Now, I personally don't think you should take him back. The situation is a little low-class. Why waste your time with a man that will have a baby with you and not marry you and then go out and get some random girl pregnant?

You need to elevate yourself and rise above the mud that you've been allowing yourself to roll around in.

(read: you're better than this)  

Answer 11

*sigh* When will you silly girls ever learn?

He's tied to this gal if she has the baby for the rest of his life...he has to support the kid until age 18-21, and if he chooses to be in the bay's life, well he's there until he dies.....oh well.

So while you have  his kid, he knocks up another gal...wow. Mr. Trustworthy he aint...

...and not being able to spell has nothing to do with intelligence..I know some really smart people who are sucky at spelling.

Beauty is subjective...YOU may think she's not pretty, others may.

And either 'point' is pointless....it has nothing to do with anything..it certainly doesn;t prove your better than she or you deserve Mr. Can't Keep It In His Pants anymore than she does. It makes you come across as petty anjudgmentalal...you are in no position to judge.

besides you BOTH did the exact same thing with him and you BOTH became pregnant so you BOTH are same birds of a feather.So don't feel superior to her...you aren't.

he sounds like a looser...up to you if you take him back but be prepared...there will be alot more women calling you with the same story if you do...

Answer 12

Dear Hurt...

This "man" has a pattern of cheating you and leaving you high and dry.  He is at the very least  having UNPROTECTED s*x with other women and bringing God knows what back to you.

Love has nothing to do with it.  He has disrespected you in the worst way.

Love yourself and your son more than this!  Get an order for child support.  Who knows how many this one is going to leave a woman to support...get your child's money,

Answer 13

Too much!!

Time to move on, Babymomma!

You are not TRASH so quit letting someone treat you like you are...

AND - any man who turns his back on any child he creates is a LOSER...

Signed: Anji

Answer 14

ok iam sorry but your baby daddy is a jackass for not taking responsibility for his actions he should help her some how to take care of HIS baby. and you need to stay away from him he is a player  

Answer 15

if he really is her baby's daddy then she is going to be back for child support, I don't care what she says now, she will be back and you will have her and her child as a part of your life forever.

sit with that for a while and imagine how your life will be.

Can you get past it and accept it as part of your life?  if yes then if you can forgive him and you believe that he is sincere then give him ONE more chance.  DO NOT MARRY HIM FOR 2 or 3 YEARS.  You want to be sure that you have worked out whatever issues the two of you have that cause you to do this on again/off again dance you do.  Also it will give you the chance to get used to the idea of  this other woman and her child being a part of your life and it will give you the chance to see if he is going to attempt to be faithful to you.

if you can't get past the other woman and her child being in your life then move on.  If you can't forgive him then move on.

Answer 16

All I have to say is that you're a total hypocrite for criticizing someone else for spelling and grammatical errors when your own isn't any better than what you claim hers was!

Oh, and if you'd gotten married to a MAN instead of an idiot BEFORE having a baby you wouldn't be in this fix.

Baby daddy, indeed!  What the h**l is this world coming to?  No wonder society is going to h**l in a hand basket!

Answer 17

why in all would you want a father for your kids who wont own up to his responsibilities, its not the other girls childs fault that her parents are imature, anymore then your child has any fault in who was its parents

i'd never take back a man who wouldnt figth for his child and do what was best for it, owning up to the responsibility, what sort of father figure will he be for your own child

Answer 18

You have the nerve to say someone else is not intelligent based on their grammer and writing skills?  Have you looked at yours lately??

Answer 19

Dear Babymomma, drop that zero and get yourself a hero (snap)

Answer 20

Sigh.

I could explain all the reasons, but it would take pages.

Dump  BDaddy.

He is a bum. He will always be a bum, and he will tear your heart out repeatedly until you finally come to the realization and dump him.

save yourself years of misery, and try to get your life on track with a decent person.

Answer 21

You are nuts if you get back with this lying cheating loser. He is playing both of you!

Answer 22

It is true, everyone makes mistakes, but your fiance has not only made mistakes, he does not show any responsibility for them. He truly does not sound good material for a husband or he would have at least owned up to his responsibilities if indeed this baby is his. Instead he gave this girl an ultimatium to choose betwwen him or the baby, that is digusting. Then he tells her he does not want anything to do with her or the baby. IF this is the kind of man you want then go for it. I personally would not see him worth the ground you walk on. Your decision.  

Answer 23

I know this is unpopular to say to you young, hip people who think that popping out babies is no big deal, but what I find disturbing, but which you seem to think is a good thing, is where you say, "My bdaddy wants nothing to do with . . . the baby."

What you are saying is that the kind of man to whom you want to be married is the kind of man who would abandon a child he has fathered.  I find that quite sad.

Answer 24

Yes everyone does make mistakes and if you love him and he loves you then your baby deserves to have its mom and dad together. Although he needs to pay for his mistake. God gave humans the ability to bare children as a gift and that is exactly what a child is a gift. Not just your child but every child!!!! He can be a daddy to both children and only love you.