Baby name category addicts I have a question for you?

Question

First- hi! just thought i'd give you a different kind of question to take a break from the very "stressful" job of sorting through names. ((ha ha))

I wanted to ask what your opinion was on this "type" of person who asks advice about names for their bundle of joy.

you see a question, it reads:

What do you think of these/my/our names?

and then you are given one or two (or more) names to critique. You give your honest opinion, in a non-rude way.

After you have given your opinion you check back later to see what other suggestion were given and find that the asker has written a 2 paragraph rant about how everyone that hates her/his names is a jerk and blah blah blah...

my question is.

1. Why do people get SO offended over something they clearly walked into knowing everyone on this planet has their own opinion.

2. Why would you open yourself up to criticism if you can't handle it! (rude comments or not so rude)

3. Do people actually think that others will crawl up their butts to complement them on a name that is clearly NOT a favorite among this "crowd"?

4. Why even bother asking at all if all you are going to say at the end of all the opinions is- "You all can go to h**l it's my baby I'll name her/him what I want, so who cares what you think"...?

((as for #4- i agree it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, but why open yourself to be offended, and then get upset about it afterwards? that's silly.))

Answer 1

I agree with you because:

The purpose of asking a question on Y!A Baby Names (and any other baby names forum for that matter) is to learn what others think of your favorite names.

If you ask a question and don't want to hear honest answers, you've defeated the purpose of Y!A Baby Names.

Answer 2

I think some might be offended if they were to see it as a remark towards their baby...  I personally think of only the name when I criticise it.  And I do think it is more than a bit immature, as in any circumstance, to take criticism so close to heart.

For example, when I see a really bad name (you know, one of those where you cringe and wonder how and why the parent even thought of it?)  I think it's poor taste on the parent's part;  The child has nothing to do with the naming.

I think parents need to stop and think, and realise/remember that it's how you raise the kid that makes him/her unique, not the name -- Someone named Alice may end up the first female president, and someone named Nevaeh may end up being a total "princess" who can't take care of herself or think for herself without her husband.  Or Nevaeh could be the president...

As for "rule #4"... It IS silly when they say "it's my baby I'll name her/him what I want..." when they've asked us what we think they should do in the first place.

Btw, I like to ask questions about my baby names sometimes, eventhough I don't have any kids yet. (Big baby name nerd here)  It doesn't bother me when someone honestly doesn't like my name (Another thing, I don't give (rarely have) thumbs down on any my questions AS A RULE "of thumb" HAHA get it? Anyway...)  Actually, It's kinda cool in a way, b/c that means they're one less person to steal my name(s).  :)

Answer 3

Maybe they are bipolar.

When they wrote the question they were happy and excited to get input about possible names for their baby.

Then when the went to check the answers their mood shifted and suddenly the were mad at the world.

I know it's a stretch... but it would explain things a bit!

Answer 4

I agree that people shouldnt take it personally if someone says i dont like such and such name.  That is okay.  However what I find really annoying is when regular people on this board, seek out certain posts on particular names such as Addison.  There are a few on this board who hate the name, they write the same false facts about this name everytime!  Its a disease....no really is a rare disease and it was named after the doctor who discovered it.  Its a surname....no really its a first name first and foremost...because the number of first names far far outnumber the amount of people with it as a last name...google it.  And lastly they say its a male name because it has a son in it....give me a break, it means child not son because names evolve.  And its not pronounced son its pronounced sin.  anyway people need to get there facts straight if they are going to tear apart names, otherwise its fine to say I dont like such and such name.  If we all liked the same thing then it would be a pretty grey world.

Answer 5

To me this saying really applies here sometimes: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

If you honestly can't give at least some constructive criticism or help and just simply say you hate it, you aren't helping the person asking the question at all.

I generally say that I don't care for a name and leave it at that. I don't say its a bad name or I hate it, just that I don't like it. Sometimes if I have a good reason why someone shouldn't use a name I state it in the most useful way I can.

Rude comments and such are not really appreciated by anyone and I do believe that they are against the community guidelines.  

Answer 6

i know exactly what you mean. why ask for opinions if u dont want them? of course EVERYBODY isnt going to love your name. i always give my HONEST opinion but i try to do it in a respectful way. this girl on babygaga argued with me one day because she asked what everybody thought of Madison for a boy. i said i didnt like it and that it was feminine in MY OPINION. she argued with me for days about how wrong i was, that it was a boys name too. i dont think it should be used on boys was all i was saying and she just got so pissed. why even ask what others think if u dont want to hear it? you cant ask for opinions and then tell people they are "wrong". opinions can never be wrong.

Answer 7

I agree.  I do not just post "Oh, what cute names" on every single thread, as some posters seem to be known to do.  I am not here to collect thumbs up or hope that the asker chooses my answer as best.  If they say they want honest opinions on the names, that is what I give them.  

They can take or leave my opinion as they see fit, but I agree with you that it is silly to come here asking for input and then get offended when people give it.

Answer 8

I agree with you, but people giving their opinions on the names get so rude about it that it's common nature to respond back. If people would just say, "I dont like that name" instead of "you shouldn't even be a parent because you want your child to be teased, so you must hate your child because that name sucks!" So, yeah...

Answer 9

i agree with you 100%

Answer 10

I totally agree with you, when asking hey what do you think you have to realize people are going to give you there honest opinion. If you cannot handle it then don't ask. If it is a name you are totally in love with then it really shouldn't matter what other people think!

Answer 11

Rofl...today has been my first visit to baby names, and I have to admit I am completely distracted and having a ball...

What fun! :p

So, I haven't seen this yet, but my guess is they're those same people that plead and beg for your opinion, and then get all huffy and offended if it does not match theirs.

My take on it is this - same as everywhere else on YA...Some come here because they really want opinions...some come here for validation...some have no clue why they're here or how they arrived, and some don't know where they are at all- period.  They are just bitter, lost souls wandering thru cyberspace and the world seeking hapless victims, or expecting to be victimized.  

Lol- and you actually nailed the major issue in question 3 - the logical assumption would be that they think...but the reality is - thinking probably never enters the picture! :p

I just roll my eyes and move on to the next question, lol.

Answer 12

1. Why do people get SO offended over something they clearly walked into knowing everyone on this planet has their own opinion?

I'm not sure. People need to get over it. It matters what you think not what some people you may never meet say on the internet.

2. Why would you open yourself up to criticism if you can't handle it! (rude comments or not so rude)

Because people think everyone will love the same thing the love. They cant handel the fact te people have different opinions. It is very stupid in my opinion. See I have opinions too!

3. Do people actually think that others will crawl up their butts to complement them on a name that is clearly NOT a favorite among this "crowd"?

Yes because they have doubts. This is a large majority but some are simply curious on what others think of a particular name. Not everyone who asks about names is pregnant or knows someone who is pregnant.

4. Why even bother asking at all if all you are going to say at the end of all the opinions is- "You all can go to h**l it's my baby I'll name her/him what I want, so who cares what you think"...?

Because people honestly think others will suck up to them to get 10pts. It drives me nuts! I will answer honestly and I don't give a d**n if it offends you or anyone else. And I hope they will do the same for me.

Good questions. I honestly wonder these things myself.

Answer 13

I totally agree with you! In the past, I've asked for people's honest opinions about a name I was thinking about. I got very mixed reviews - some people said they really liked the name, while other people called it a "granny name", or that it was too old-fashioned and ugly. I actually prefer to get rude reviews sometimes, because it shows me what the current trends and thoughts are about naming styles.

I have a different naming style than a lot of people on here. I cringe every time I hear Jayden, Hailey, and Makayla. When people ask questions such as, "Which name for my child?" and I truly dislike all the options, I usually say something along the lines of, "That's not really my style, but I'm sure it will suit your baby. Have you considered similar sounding names, like Jacob or James instead of Jayden, Hallie or Halle instead of Hailey, and Michaela or Kayla instead of Makayla? Those are all lovely options."  

Answer 14

1. They shouldn't, but names are a personal thing so they take it personally, of course.

2. Many people think they want opinions, but don't realize how harsh some people can be.

3. Not sure what you mean, this crowd has very different tastes.  And I don't think they expect people to compliment a name they really don't like, but many people can't imagine so many people not liking the name that they love.

4. Yeah, that's just dumb.

I agree with you, if you ask "What do you think of these names?" they are opening themselves up for all kinds of criticism, especially from people who don't like the same type of names.

What does irk me is when I ask a question with a specific purpose and rather than answering the question I asked, they say how much they dislike the names or suggest other ones.  I appreciate this site and all the input, but people should answer the question asked or not answer at all.

And yes, if that question is "What do you think of these names?" be prepared, we obviously don't all have the same tastes which is what makes the world an interesting place.

Answer 15

Well I think some people just want to hear you tell them how brilliant, and perfect the name they picked is. I always try to give my answers politely, and suggest other options if I really dislike their choice. If you notice 99% of those type of askers just pick the answer that kisses their butt most. For example I've seen "OMG I totally fell in love with that name, and I now am going to use it for my baby girl! Thanks xoxo"  Now that is just a cheesy, phony answer if  I ever saw one.

Also maybe some women are protective of their babies, and if they already feel its the name of their little one with all those hormones it can make you defensive. When I ask I hope I get honest general opinions so I can see how some of the world reacts to the name I like.