Baby number 2 and just turned 20 and i dont know what to do?

Question

So im pregnant with baby number 2 and i just turned 20 a week ago my daughter is 14 months. Im wondering how other young moms cope with this type of situation. I really want to keep it because i feel abortion is morally wrong and wouldnt give it up for adoption. The father is excited and in the picture but i have a good feeling we will not work out im jsut not happy with him. Any others experience this, advice is muchly appreciated.

Answer 1

well i have a 8 month old daughter and i am4 months pregnant and i feel the same as you same father for both but we are not together i left him in the middle of my last pregnancy and 4 months ago i had dumb s*x with him and i am prego again and i had all the same thoughts as you but i could never kill a innocent baby i know how to make babies and didn't take precautions so i have to deal with it. i feel if the lord didn't think i could handle it he would not have given me this awesome blessing!!!  you will be just fine it will be hard but there are so many programs to help you.  so stay strong and you will be OK and most of all pray!! if you are not going to stay with the father that does not mean he can't be a father ya know

Answer 2

Hi...

I'm not going to be rude or ridicule, but i'm wondering why you'd have s*x with someone you're not happy with, or even be in a relationship with them in the first place?

I was young when i had my first child... and alone... it's not easy.  

I really think that it would be wise if you thought about your choices before you made them from this point forward.  Relationships and pregnancies are life-changing events and circumstances.  I hate to see that you're unhappy.

I hope everything turns out well for you.

Answer 3

Dont take this wrong, but life could get difficult.  But it is also wonderful.  I had my Daughter when I was 19 and my son when I was 21.  It was hard getting used to be a mom in the first place and then knowing that i was about to have number 2.  I cried for about 2 weeks straight.  Anyways after my son was born.  Everything seemed to fall into place.  My husband and I went through rough times and I also went through POst partum depression.  But we managed to make it so far.  My daughter is now 4 and my son is 3.  There are the most precious gifts that I could have ever recieved.  Times are still hard.  But there is never a day that I regret having them. Everything will be fine.  Be strong and enjoy your babies as much as possible.  Because once you have this baby, you wont believe how fast time flies with having two babies running around.

Answer 4

i wish so much i could help you. you may feel like your not happy due to mood swings, so maybe try to stick it out a couple of months before making a rash decision.

Answer 5

I'm just curious, have you ever just glanced on more information about "open" adoptions? This saved my blood sisters life!

In an open adoptions, the mother gets to choose who the adopting parents will be and gets to know lots of things about the child. I was able to grow up knowing that I had a sister that was adopted. I saw her occasionally for big life events (Her graduation, holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, some birthdays). This was the deal that was made between my mother and me sister's adoptive parents. My mom spoke to my sister's adoptive parent nearly every other day. I can honestly say I have at times been very jealous that my sister got such an excellent deal. My sister was in after school activities, was a cheerleader, was in the debate class, and in track. She had her own bedroom, her own horses on the farm she grew up on...she had a personal orchard outside her bedroom patio!! After high school they put her into a private college in a dorm room. She received a brand new laptop and Ford expedition for graduating high school and entering into college.

My mother begged me not to tell on her for smuggling pot in my youngest brother's diaper and laughed her *** off when she talked me into smoking pot with her when I was 5 years old. My birth mother bought a basket for my bike when I was 10 because she could send me up to the liquor store and the store would send me back with a another bottle they just "put on her tab". My birth mother married some jerk who talked her into taking an insurance claim out on her children and then gave me a car that was rigged with a faulty fuel line to explode while they would collect $$$ from the insurance they took out on us kids just three weeks before (yea there was penalties for this one). And the rest of the time? It was in and out of treatment centers, family therapy about why we need to forgive her for her horrendous behaviors, and multiple explanations about why this type of behavior is really a disease and not the result of selfishness.

My sister's "mother" is throwing her a baby shower in two months. My mother committed suicide.

I have often wished my mother considered open adoption from day one.

Now few are obviously extreme as my mom was, but I know what my sister's adoptive parents do for her is true love. Who wouldn't want that for their children? Just some food for thought...

Answer 6

Try keeping your legs closed if you don't know anything about birth control.

Answer 7

You know what, voice your concerns with the father.  Tell him that you want him in his child's life but you don't really see the two of you going too far.

It is great that you feel that abortion isn't the right answer BUT maybe you really should consider adoption.  I know it would be hard giving up a child you carried for 9 months and already feel a bond to but if you truly love your child, you can do it because you would want what is best for him/her - and what is best isn't a barely scraping by on a minimum wage job and raising two children and not being able to pay bills.

Answer 8

Dont worry about it. I am 21. I have 2 children; one will be 4 in september and one is 14 months. I also am already divorced. You can say that I started off early, and yes I did. But I am glad I did, because if I didn't then I wouldn't be where I am right now. I have 2 beautiful children, that I thank god for every day, and a wonderful man in my life that thinks my children are his...

I found out I was pregnant with my son in Sept. of 2006. I was with a douche bag man. 2 weeks later I told him I wanted a divorce. I know exactly what you are going through. If you ever need to talk, I am here. Just let me know.

If you aren't happy, dont stick with him for the children's sake... It will just hurt them in the long run.

Good luck!

Answer 9

i had my first son when i was 17. my second son when i was 20 and my daughter at 21. so here i am 21 with 3 kids. the father of my younger 2 is in jail so im doing it by myself. it can be hard at times but your kids will be far enough apart it wont be too hard. you can do it i promise. u will love the second one as much as the first and somehow u will make everything work even if u and the father dont make it. congrats and if u ever neemed to talk feel free to email me or message me justagirl8678

Answer 10

The first thing you have to do is believe in yourself more than anything. There are so many programs that will help you but the one thing you should try to do is focus on school it will pay off at the end. Hopefully things will workout for the best and I believe God will provide you should just have faith...

Answer 11

Im  not going to be rude to you .. So don't worry..=) you should be happy you're haveing another baby but if it doesn't work out with the baby daddy.. Then  try to take good care of you're kid n he should still be in the picture

Answer 12

I totally know how you feel!  I'm 21, my son is 14 months as well, but I'm due to have my baby in about 10 days.  I'm a stay at home mom, while my wonderful b/f of 6 years works.  I know it's going to get really crazy around here once my daughter arrives & I have two little ones to deal with.  My son is a good baby so I know it'll be fine once we all get into a good schedule together, it's just getting to that point that I know is going to stress me out.  Glad to hear you want to keep it, abortion is not the way to go.  Just keep your head up & things will work out!  I wish you the best of luck!!