Baby trouble!?

Question

I have 2 daughters, one is 11 and one is 4. I just had one more little girl who will i named Haleigh. Since Haleigh is a new born she requires alot of attention and love so i have to spend pretty much 24/7 with her. But my little four year old also requires alot of attention which i cannot provide as much of anymore. She often asks to play games and stuff but i have to turn her down. Then she walks away sadly. Sometimes her daddy is able to play but i know that i should be spending mother daughter time with her. My eleven year old is old enough to understand my situation so she tries to help. I dont know what to do! I love my little girl and dont want her to be mad at me. Every once and a while, while my husband is taking care of the baby i get to spend time with her but i constantly have to be like feeding the baby. Please help!

Answer 1

Let your 4-year-old sit by you while you feed the baby, maybe with a doll of her own that she can "care" for, a picture book she can share with you, or have a nutritious snack, (like Haleigh is,) just something that allows you to be with the baby, and her, too.  Let her feel that Haleigh needs her there so she begins to feel that sisterly bond.  Tell her that you used to take care of her this way, explain things as you do them, like changing Haleigh's diaper, etc., and ask her to help (yes, 4-year-olds can help) in small ways, like bringing you a diaper or some other small task.  Include her as much as possible, and share this time with her because it will pass and you want her to love Haleigh, not resent her.

Answer 2

My second baby was/is like that - even at 9 months she wants constant attention.  I do my best to involve my 3 old in caring for her (during diaper changes, baths, etc..) but sometimes I just can't read to her or play.  That's just part of her new life as a big sister.  But I do try to make a point of telling the baby, "hold on, I'm playing with your sister" so that she hears me making her a priority, too.  If you can, I think it's good to let the baby cry for a bit sometimes while you play with the 4-yo so she knows she's important, too. ((hugs)) It's hard work and sad sometimes!

Answer 3

try playin games or cookin with her while ur newborn is sleeping

Answer 4

u can like make it a priority to spend at least 30 minutes of fun with her everyday, or at least a quick game. or u can make her feel needed and ask her 4 help with the baby. i used to love doing that with my baby brother. or sometimes u could just put in a movie and have sister mommy bonding time. SO FUN!!! i know ur doing ur best and u sound like a great mom. keep it up!!!

Answer 5

I was going to suggest letting Daddy watch the baby while you spend some time with your daughter each day.

Answer 6

My oldest was about 4 when my second was born.  I know newborns are time consuming, but you have to at least "appear" to be spending time w/her.  Maybe not an entire game of chutes and ladders (just kill me now!), but engage w/her somehow, no matter how hard it might seem.  Have her "fix your hair" while your feeding the baby, or something that seems so simple to us, but important to her. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 7

You are doing all you can right now,so do not beat up on yourself.Tell your little girl that mommy needs her help and let her feel special by bringing you diapers,helping burp the baby,etc.This will help her feel included and special.GOD-bless

Answer 8

maybe include the 4 yr old in helping take care of the baby and you two can bond that way? like have her help put all the nipples in the pot, then you fill it and boil, obviously. take a walk to the park/playground, baby will most likely sleep, so you can pay more attention to the 4 yr old. Or, she can help sort baby socks and bibs out of the washing machine maybe. not sure really, I have a 7 month old, but no others yet, good luck.

Answer 9

Sounds like you need to take your four year old out on a date.  Just the two of you.  Take her out to buy a new book or doll and grab some ice cream.  Then next week, hubby can take her on a date.  This is also something your oldest might like to do.  Take her for a pedicure, or to the mall.  Turn your 4 yr old into queen helper for the day.  Make her a crown and she gets to help you with everything!  She can hand you diaper wipes, get the pacifier, turn the lights off at naptime for baby.  She just misses her one on one time and once she gets some special time...it will get easier.

Answer 10

It's going to get easier as Haleigh get a little older.  In the mean time, have your 4 year old involved so that she sees you are not neglecting her, but that the baby requires some attention now and she is going to help you give it to her.  

Also, multi-tasking is a requirement.  I loved the baby-bjorn because it allowed me to keep the baby close to me and do other things.  This freed up some time to play, clean, etc.

While you are nursing or bottle feeding, do it in a way that will free you up to either read a story to the 4 yr old, or play something that doesn't require much of you.  Definitely reinforce your love with hugs and kisses.

Hope this helps.

Answer 11

Try letting the dad watch the baby for a while and spend time with your kids or a close relative.Or let her know how you feel.