Baby won't sleep by herself?

Question

My daughter is 8 1/2 months old and I cant get her to sleep by herself, when I put her in the room and close the door she cries naturally well her father goes and picks her up and rocks her to sleep we fight over this every night and I don't know what to do....He doesnt like hearing her cry he says it hurts his heart and to make it worse when she cries in the middle of the night he puts her in bed with us so she is sleeping with us half the night...

Answer 1

im going through the exact same thing with my almost 11 month old son. he will not sleep in his room for anything. he sleeps in the bed with us which gives us no place to cuddle and stuff. its hard i have no idea what to do either lol

Answer 2

I'm dealing with this right now with my 11m old.  I am doing it a little different though, this may be a good compromise for you and your hubby.  I lay her down in her crib and let her CIO but I remain in the room.  Every time she tries to stand up in her crib, I gently put her down, she soon stops trying to stand up.  I rub her back and talk gently to her, I also find if I lean in and lay my head on the mattress and pretend I am sleeping it calms her and she then lays down and falls asleep.  Its like you need to show them what they need to do.  The first night was tough and it took about 1 1/2 hrs to get her down.  It truly is heart breaking to hear them cry, but they do need to learn how to fall asleep on their own.  The next day at nap time I did it again and it took 1/2 hr to get her asleep, I'm hoping that tonight will be better and quicker, I'm told that by night 6 it should be great.  Hope that works to please you both!

Answer 3

If don't have it already get the book called "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg.  It was my bible when raising my son.

In the book it explains that children must learn how to sooth themselves to sleep.  All humans have a natural sleepng pattern that runs a 45 minute course.  During that time we fall into a deep sleep, come back up to REM sleep then wake up.  As adults we're not aware that we "wake-up" because we've learned how to SOOTH ourselves back into sleep.  This needs to be taught to your infant by you & you're husband as she wasn't bor with this life long skill.

What's happening now is your husband has taught your daughter that if she cries he will come to her and do the soothing for her.  She doesn't know any other way...and it should stop.

You're husband and you have to come to a comprimise.  Give the crying a time limit of 10 minutes.  You'll notice that children will go through three Crescendos - cry, calm down, cry, calm down, cry, calm down...if on the third cry she doesn't calm down then go in and help her sooth herselft to sleep.  Don't pick her up but rub her back or hold her hand.  When she settles down, move away from her crib but don't leave the room for a few minutes...after a few minutes, stand in the doorway...after a few minutes leave the room.  If she starts crying again, wait the 10 minutes again and listen for the three cresendos and so on.

It takes 3 days to change a habit so you have make the commitment...

Read the book - there's so much more detail!

Good Luck

Answer 4

As long as your husband is going to go in and pick her up and bring her to your bed you will have this problem.  Ask him if when she is 12 years old if it will be okay that she is still sleeping with you...because that is where he is heading with this.

Answer 5

Hi Lara,

You don't have to let your baby cry it out to get to sleep ..... there are other ways!  My baby Josh had sleeping problems and several people said I should use the cry it out method but I just hated it. I felt like a wicked parent and would give in every time and go to comfort him.

Eventually though a friend recommended I try a baby sleep audio program that had worked for her baby. It had a number of techniques that I could use and amazingly the one I tried started to work the very first night. Within two weeks Josh was sleeping through the night and I'm pleased to say he has never had a problem with sleeping since.

If you want to take a look, the audio program is at http://www.babysleepsolution.com

Good luck hun.

Ally

Answer 6

let her cry herself to sleep its call self soothing and she should have been in a seprate bed since she was wee lil what i use to do is rock my daughter to sleep then put her in her bed then when she got older id let her cry her self to sleep

tell him to leave her  alone i know it is reather annoing to hear them cry but tell him to take a walk or do something to to ocuppy himself

Answer 7

I can't answer this question for you but I can say that I am feeling your pain lol my husband is the same way I have an 11 month old girl his first girl and he allows her to sleep with us as well she has her own bed but she will not sleep in her own bed if I try putting her to sleep in her bed she cries and eventually he puts her in the bed with us when you find a solution please inform me lol ...