Baby yes, Baby no...?

Question

So the other day my boyfriend & I went to a mud run together and we met up with a bunch of our friends... for some reason we got on to the topic of kids, seeing one of our friends has a few.... later on that day when we were driving home he lokked at me and asked "so when are we going to have kids," He was dead serious. I've always wanted kids young and We both love kids, but here is the catch...

See i'm 17 almost 18 and he is 21, he has a super good job and we have already talked about marriage and what not. We both ready emotional and nobody is ever really ready money wise, but were good on that too for the most part...

So what I'm trying to get to is, Would it be crazy if we went for it?

Answer 1

Are you kidding? You are too young. I have loads of friends who had kids as a youth desire now they are trying to deal with all kid stuff. I am telling you, be wise and not have kids until you have your own job. A baby is no joke. Once you have it, you should give your whole life to it. Wait until you are fully ready.

Answer 2

You do not even have a clue what you are talking about. You have not even finished school or even lived your own life. Why would you want to rush to have a kid? If he loves you then he will have no problem in waiting now will he?

Anyhow are you ready to put your life on hold for the next 18 plus years and babysit nonstop 24/7 ?

Super good job? Doing what?

I was 21 when i had my son whom was planned and i can tell you it was hard even at that age. I would not change the fact that i have my son but if i could i would have waited a little bit longer to have him.

Why doesn't he marry you first? Hmm your mom and daddy would have to sign for you right?

If it takes that then i would not even get married right now.

Live your own life before you have to take care of others.

Answer 3

I was 17 when i got pregnant for the first time, and it was unplanned and we were not at all ready but we managed. If you are out of school and it wont interfere with anything education wise, and he has a good enough job to support all of you and you both really want it, then you should do what you think is right. Its not impossible to have them that young and be perfectly fine, and its not crazy. if you are still unsure, try talking to your family about it and getting some of their advice before you go and do anything.

Answer 4

If you are in a serious relationship and genuinely want a child for all of the right reasons, then why not? I had my kids later and could never imagine having had them so young, but if it feels right for you, then go for it!

Answer 5

You're right that nobody is fully prepared for the financial aspect of having children. However, you DO need to have some money set aside or saved up. Do you have any sort of medical insurance? If not then labor alone(vaginally and complication free) can run you from 4,000+. That doesn't include your prenatal visits leading up to labor either.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it by any means. The final decision needs to be yours and your boyfriend's. However, you need to realize that a lot more goes into a baby then just wanting it. If you both think you're ready and this is something you both want then go for it.

ETA: I noticed you said you and your boyfriend had been "going out" for over a year. That isn't really a long time. My husband and I had been dating for a year, then married for 3, before we had our baby boy(in April of this year). You need to really KNOW the person you having a child with. Also, dating and marriage are two totallly different things. I'm not one to push marriage one people, but those people have usually been in a relationship for YEARS, not just A year.

Answer 6

well first of all. in most states if you two have s*x, its considered rape and he could be put in jail. only because your not 18 yet.

so i'd wait until you turn 18 before you get married.

or wait until your married for a year to have kids.

and its not crazy if your in love.

Answer 7

Go to college first. Babies are alot more work than you realize and not all relationships work out. Find a career you like or just get a job get the I'm ready to have a baby idea out of your mind and start thinking where do I want to be in the next five ten fifteen years.

Answer 8

no not crazy, but are you sure you and him have spent enough time together doing what you two both want, holidays, party in etc. Its hard work, no sleep,have to entertain them every day, but it is so rewarding and i wont change having kids for the world.

Answer 9

I had my son at 17, but I can say from personal experience that being more mature & stable is just as important as how much you will love your future children.

You never said how long you two have been a couple, so I will take it for granted that it isn't that long.

Take the time to build your relationship before you actively try to conceive.

It will save you so much grief in the future if you know exactly where your relationship stands & how strong it is.

Answer 10

I would say to wait!  Y'all are both really young!  I am super glad that I waited until 31 to have a child!  I got all of my partying and stuff out of my sytem and am really ready to be settled at this point.  I know it's selfish, but you'd miss out on a bunch of fun 20's stuff if you had a child.  You'd enjoy life in a different way I'm sure, but...I don't know..I'd just wait!

Answer 11

Hun if your really so happy why the rush ?

Go on holidays get a house and do what most young couples do ..Kids is a big step and i can truly say i wish we has done the holidays and gone on trips but we didn't although i DO NOT regret having my twins i wish we had done more before ..Think about it for a while x

Answer 12

Get married and go for it.  The young women here will tell you no, you need your career first, but take it from someone that has children older than you.  If you are mature enough and are stable enough to have children, young is better.  Women like to wait, but God forbid you have any fertility problems, you try and try for years and your chances get shorter and shorter.  You have to have children when you are ready and if that is when you are 18, then that is fine.  I have been a career mom for almost 24 years.  Meaning I have made a career out of being a mother.  For a little while I had to work due to some unforseen circumstances, but that was not in the best interest of my children.  I am now a young grandmother and I love the fact that I can wrestle with my grandchildren as I could with my own children.  God willing, I will be around for a good long time to watch them grow.  Not crazy, but get the ring first.

Answer 13

i think you should try living with him first. (if you already dont) that should be the next step. Age doesnt mean anything you have to be ready.

But just because you saw your friend with kids and it looks okay doesnt mean you should do it. Why dont you ask if you and your boyfriend can babysit for one day and see how that goes.

You also said HE has a super good job...dont have a baby unless YOU have a good job expecially one with health benefits complete your goals before you have a baby. good luck. =)