Bachelor Party at strip clubs?

Question

Who made up this stupid tradition ? How can it be okay ? We've been together for 6 years,we were each others first every-things. Do I have the right to be upset that all of a sudden cause we are getting married it's okay to have **** a** and Pu*** in his face from another woman? I 'm not really mad just really hurt and he just doesn't get it. He doesn't know why I'm making a "big deal "about it, but i think I have the right to. And I don't wanna hear you coulda went to see guy strippers ... that's just it I didn't WANT to , and the fact that he did makes it worse. The way I see it if he really thought it was ok then he coulda did everything he did in front of me and not feel a tad bit guilty but I know that isn't the case so obviously he feels it was wrong. And i know guys are different they like visual things ..blah blah. I'm fine with looking but the griding up on him rubbing her a** on his d*** and titties in face (they went to two totally nude strip clubs not just topless)?? Not okay.. What if i had some guys di** all up on my face and b***s? I highly doubt he'd be perfectly fine with that, he got mad cause some guy I met when us girls went out to dinner and dancing looked me up and messaged me to enjoy my wedding and that it was nice talking to me. And no I didn't freak this dude or anything I met him while walking down the street!! He was probably just mad cause I didn't have to pay him to notice me =)Someone please help me I wanna forget about it but it just keeps popping into my head !

Answer 1

I doesn't make sense does it - This man wants to marry you yet he wants one last night of seeing strange women naked.

I think the hardest thing is the expectation to do it from his friends.

I kicked up a stink to my hubby's friends not to do anything stupid on his bucks and in the end my hubby didn't want to go to a place like that anyway.  The ended up spending the night at the casino and he was home by 1am.

What is done is done, unfortnunateley, just let him know that if he does it one more time there wont be second chances.

Answer 2

I completely understand where your coming from. And in most cases it IS ok for the guys to go see strippers but NOT girls. My boyfriend is best man at a wedding coming up in 2 years. Sure its a long time away but I'm still concerned over it. Your right, it is like last minute cheating. I would not stand for it at all. I am so against strip clubs that i told my boyfriend of 4.5 years that if he ever went to one i would break up with him or even not show up at our future wedding. He completely understands though and has promised not to go even though his mates will bug him over it.

I think if he loves you he should not even be wanting to see naked women. I hate hearing that it's a guys 'tradition'. I had my boyfriends friend tell me I'm a ***** because if i want a white 'traditional' dress he should be able to go to a 'traditional' strip club. It's rubbish and i don't think you should stand for it at all.

I'm sorry, I'm ranting but i feel so strongly on this topic!

Don't let your man walk all over you!!

xoxo

Answer 3

seriuosly your over recting about  this. my husband had his bucks with strippers too, i am totally fine with this they are not having s*x with them he is marrying YOU!  you are working it up in your head and making it sound worse than it really is. and really think about this issue....you havent even married him yet and your both by the sounds of it dont trust each other i would evaluate this situation if i were you.  

Answer 4

Don't try to control the guy by any means! You don't wanna be viewed as his "momma" Just relax and get over it with time!...At the end of it all he's still with you! Go with him to the strip club, that'll be fun!

Answer 5

i have the same dilemma, unfortunately... my fiance said he won't be able to help it if his buddies take him to one... i'm really mad inside... cus i specifically told my bridesmaid NO MALE STRIPCLUBS ... eventhough I live in Vegas... i'm so not into that...

i don't understand too how he can have other women's private body parts all up rubbing on him and be looking at me or marrying me in a couple of days!!!

i'm looking into this post too...

How can you tell your fiance nicely to please, please, please not have a bachelor party at a strip club or hire strippers???

I kept hinting of a "couple's shower"  where we'll have it at his house and COUPLES ONLY... we'll play couples only games and bbq... isn't that wonderful????  he's not giving that idea much thought...  =(

Answer 6

i fully understand you. and i am very very sorry for you, too.

i dont know why men are like that. i really dont. i dont evern want to think about it, because it hurts.

the only conclusion i can reach - is perhaps he feels so secure in his relationship with you, it really doesnt matter to him, and he automatically thinks you feel the same and it shouldnt matter to you either?

or he could just be a plain cheat.

i think it is wrong - the bachelors party - by the way - all totally wrong.  

Answer 7

yeah im kinda contemplating that idea.

its like "hey, last minute cheating time before getting married"

i hope my bf future husband and his buddies dont go :/

i would be so mad!

maybe have a double party..bachelor/bachelorette party?

lol i didnt even read the whole thing..the first sentence did it for me to answer--but after reading it all i totally get what you mean! not good....

Answer 8

This brings to light what woman have to face everyday in what we still have as a mans world. Everywhere around us there are beautiful woman for men to gaze at. Competetion is heartbreaking and painful for most even when they don't admit it.

In our minds we just can't get why, if they love me would they need to or even want to look at anyone else. We will never be better than everyone ese. There is always someone prettier, bigger b***s, nicer butt etc...

Its okay for you to be hurt and upset about this because you are. Those are your feelings. You expressed your feelings instead of keeping them inside. Now you have to let it go. Its over and done with. The thoughts that permeate in your mind are connected to the feelings of hurt that he would do this. You were awakened to the fact that he desn't have the same thoughts about looking at woman as you do about men. A harsh reality which is painful but also destructive. There are many men out there who would not go to a strip club because they feel that way and you are hurt that he is not one of those and you prabably are questioning if he truly is the right one.

Embrace his endearing qualities and those that brought you together. Peple are alot like digging for gold. You literally have to shovel through tons and tons of dirt, which is the bad, before you see any gold. But you can't look at the dirt you have to look at the gold. And when you see it nurture it and watch it grow. You will have more gold in the long run.

Dealing with your feelings in this will allow you to grow emotionally and with your own body image and self esteem. Be comfortable with yourself and l**k your wound. The only thing here is that you now know he is not perfect.

Wow a guy who is not perfect, ha ha ha

My thoughts are with you. Do something good for youself today and nurture youself. You are truly all you have who knows what you need.

Best wishes

Answer 9

I completely agree with you!  I am a newly wed and we both decided not to have bachelor or bachelorte parties.  There really is no need.  "Because it's tradition" or "it's a right of passage" are very lame reasons for doing something that would hurt your signifiant other!

  I don't care what the reason is....if doing something I thought was harmless fun made my husband sad or unsure of himself I wouldn't do it.  Plain and simple.  I wouldn't fuss at him or make him feel stupid for feeling the way he does.  I would just respect his feelings and not do it.  I would think of something else to do for fun.  And I expect the same respect and treatment from him.

Answer 10

Im with you.  Its wrong.  The man said goodbye to other women before you became engaged. Its just an excuse to "play" but from what I have seen and heard, it seems its the husband-to-be's friends who are more in favor of it.  I flat out told my own husband that if he did that I wouldnt marry him.  There's no reason why the guys cant get together and party all crazy without tramps there.  Just cause others do it dosent make it right.  Every marriage has its own rules..its a good time to establish them before the big day.

Answer 11

I would be mad too, but as long as you trust him it shouldn't be too big of a deal.  A lot of guys do it as a rite of passage.