Back or stomach sleeping? Husband doesn't want...?

Question

me to put our 4 month old on his stomach to sleep. Our doctor said that now we can start putting him on his stomach to sleep since he is so big, 19 pounds, 28 inches long, sitting up on his own, "walks" with hands held, etc. etc. BUT my husband refuses saying that he is terrified of SIDS and that because he buries his face in the bed it makes him very nervous. I have told him that SIDS usually only occurs within the first three months (or so I've read somewhere?) and that the last 3 weeks since the doc said it was okay I have been doing so. We are now in a huge argument because I disagree with him. ANYHOW, what are your opinions?

I should also mention the reason I want him to start sleeping on his stomach is because the back of his head is getting really flat. I switch positions on his bed and when he sleeps with us, but it does not seem to be rounding out and I am concerned that he will have a really REALLY flat head.

Answer 1

I bet your son would be more comfortable on his belly, however, despite being 19 pounds, SIDS is something we need to be aware of until our babies are 12 months.   I would love to have my 7.5 month baby sleep on her belly but god forbid something happened, I would never forgive myself.  

With regard to his head, give him plenty of tummy time during the day and let him nap during the day when he can be watched.

Us women need to stick together but I have to agree with your husband on this one...only for the well being and safety of your son.  Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm totally going through this now with my 4 1/2 month old daughter.  I have put her on her back, with a binkie , to sleep since she has been born.  About 1 1/2 weeks ago, she started to roll onto her side, then onto her tummy to sleep.  It has been freaking me out!  She has pretty much been sleeping from about 9:30pm to 6am since she has been doing that, but that doesn't mean I'm getting much sleep.  You wanna know what I did last night?  I woke up every hour to go into my daughters room, lean in her crib, and check to see if she was still breathing!  I've tried the sleep positioners, and turning her back over, only to have her roll back over again.  She wants to be on her tummy, so what can I do about it? lol The thought of SIDS is pretty scary.  I try not to think about it, but it's tough.  My mom has told me (cause she knows I'm being crazy about this) that no matter what you do, even if you do everything that is recommended, sometimes things just happen.  You just have to hope for the best.  So, I totally feel your hubby on this one..

Answer 3

My opinion is that it is better to keep him sleeping on his back so you AND your husband can rest soundly then letting your child sleep on his stomach and your poor husband worrying to death. You child will start flipping himself over when he is strong enough and ready.

I am not a big fan of co-sleeping only because it scares me to death.

I would continue to alternate the position of your babies head during naps and at night. Also make sure he is getting enough tummy time during the day.  Have his doctor check out his head. I always thought my sons head was too flat but it ended up just me overreacting!!

Answer 4

My son is 7 weeks old and has been sleeping on his tummy since he was about 3 weeks.  If you're home during the day, maybe just "practice" having him sleep on his tummy while you're able to watch him and check on him often.  Once your hubby gets comfortable with that, maybe he'll feel better about it!  The first night I did it I watched him and didn't sleep at all - even after "practicing" during the day!!  

He doesn't sleep on his tummy every night - but it seems like a treat to him.

Answer 5

If you son can roll over it is safe for him to sleep on his belly.  Also, there are new studies on SIDS that show it is caused by a lack of serotonin, if he sleeps better on his belly let him sleep that way.  Also, if his head does get too flat he will have to wear a special helmet to correct it.

Answer 6

It maybe safe to have him sleep on his stomach but remember, his father is his parent too.  If he is SOOOO against it, keep the baby on his back.  Soon enough he will be rolling over in his sleep and sleeping however he wants.

Remember, pick your battles.  If you let him "win" this one, it maybe helpful in the future.  But you insist on being the "winner", it may under-mind his parenthood and may cause resentment.

Answer 7

i only leave my baby on her stomach if i am there to watch her. i am really scared to leave her on her stomach overnite. she usually sleeps in bed with me and my bf though.

Answer 8

The SIDS risk doesn't decrease until about 6 months, and if your son can't roll over both ways by himself, you should be putting him down on his back.

Your husband fears death and you fear a flat head. His fear wins. Kids with flat heads grow up to have perfectly normal shaped heads. Kids who die from SIDS don't grow up at all.

You have to live with your hubby, not your doctor. So again, hubby's concerns win out.

Answer 9

While it is probably safe, most doctors don't recommend putting them on their backs ever.  Most will tell you that once they are able to roll over, you don't have to worry about it, but even then to put them down on their backs and let them roll over on their stomachs themselves if that is how they want to sleep.    

EDIT:  Don't worry too much about the flat head thing.  My son's head was getting pretty flat too, but at 6 months he began rolling over to sleep on his stomach and wanting to spend all of the time that he was awake on his stomach and within a month or two, his head rounded out again.

Answer 10

I totally agree with your husband. SIDS is the leading cause of death in babies between 1 month and 12 months of age. Babies should always be put to sleep on their backs. When he is old enough to roll over in his sleep, that's fine, but until then back only.  The American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends back sleeping only.  

Answer 11

I agree with your husband, maybe try baby on side mine sleeps on side :)

And for the one who said their heads go back to round after being flat, wrong my 4 yr old has a flat head still ! My boy sleeps on side in a sleep positioner to stop him rolling foward or back .

Answer 12

My mom told me i always used to sleep on my stomach as a baby.  And even into high school i could not go to sleep until i rolled over on my stomach.. But with an infant it's better to err on the side of caution

Just have the baby sitting up a lot during the day / wakeing hours and the head problem should be fine.  I understand your concern with this as well.   Babies skulls tend to be softer and more maleable, Mom sias she would use her hand to round me and sisters skulls when she held us as babies.

                           hope this helps

Answer 13

the risk of sids goes down after 6 months, not 3 months. his head will be back to normal in a few months. if he can roll over and hold up his head then it should be okay to put him on his belly- especially since he'll probably wind up in a diff position later.  

Answer 14

SIDS is a risk even beyond that. It is a risk from the time the baby is old enough to roll over until about the time the baby can easily sit up from a laying position completely by his self (but many say, longer, just to be safe.)  

You probably should keep putting your baby to sleep on his back and if he wants to turn over in his sleep, he can do that, but to sleep on his back first, just to be safe.  

Answer 15

The peak period for SIDS is between 2 to 4 months, with most cases occurring before 6 months, so, no the risk has not passed.  

You have to ask yourself what's worse: knowing that you're elevating the baby's risk of SIDS, or it taking a little longer until his head is rounder?  I know that I could never forgive myself if something happened, and it sounds like your husband might not forgive you if something were to happen.  Just keep him on his back for a while longer!

Answer 16

I am also terrified of SIDS.  Babies can actually die of SIDS up to a year old, but are usually at a lesser risk for SIDS after six months old.  I have to say that I am with your husband on this...I wouldn't sleep my son on his belly.  The only reason I sleep my five month old on his belly now is because I have the Angelsounds Monitor under his crib.  If he stops breathing it sets off an alarm.  You may want to invest in one of those and then you can sleep your son on his belly and your husband will sleep more peacefully knowing that you have that under your sons mattress.  I know it has really helped me!