Back to school nite, Open House at school?

Question

When my kids' elementary school opens, we have back-to-school night 3 weeks after school starts, and Open House later in the year.

Back-to-school night is FOR PARENTS ONLY. No kids. And this is NOT the time to discuss your child with teacher. Parents are reminded about this via school newsletter and note from class teacher. Invariably, parents bring along kid and younger babies, who disrupt the teacher's presentation. And, when the teacher is going around meeting parents, they HAVE to ask about their child's progress & such issues.

At Open House, kids and parents are welcome. But, again, this is NOT the time to confer with teacher about child's progress/behavior. Some parents invariably do.

This bothers me no end. I always save my questions for email or arrange a meeting with the teacher.

Some teachers are good at politely telling parents to leave if they bring kids to back-to-school night, and to save kid's progress questions for later.

Answer 1

I don't ask questions at these times. That is why teachers give you conference appointments. As far as not bringing my children, I take them everywhere. If they can't go, I don't go. I do not trust anyone to care for them. Some may think this is nuts, but the world is going downhill by the day. My children are not usually disruptive. I give the small ones activity books and snacks. The older ones have the skills to sit through a speech quietly.  Only on few occasions can my hub sit home with the kids for me to attend one of these open house functions as he drives over the road for a trucking company.

It is however very rude to hog the teacher. Also no one wants to hear about your child for the entire presentation. It keeps people longer than needed when a parent insist on getting the 411 on their kid/s. We all really just want to go home! lol

Answer 2

As a teacher it bothers me that parents ask questions about their own children while other parents are around, and after being told that this is not an appropriate time to ask questions regarding their child.

I try to encourage parents to call, email or set up an appointment to discuss the issues.  I do try to and answers questions quickly and ask them to set up an appointment.

I know their are other parents out there like you that are annoyed by this.  Please don't blame the teacher- teachers are under pressure to answer the questions because we know if we don't the parents will be upset, angry and may even talk negatively in front of their child- making it difficult for the child to respect us as teachers....

Answer 3

If I were you, I'd talk to your school's PTO president about it.  Perhaps you're not the only one annoyed.  PTO could offer some sort of activity for the kids to do in the gym or something while the parents meet with the teachers.  I don't think you can ban the kids altogether though, because there are lots of hardworking parents who simply can't afford to have someone watch their kids while they go to the meeting.  If they're showing up at all, it's a good thing.

As for the parents inevitably asking questions specific to their child, that's up to the teacher to stop, or at the very least, make sure is saved for the end of the presentation.

Answer 4

I think that's pretty much it. Its like asking how do I make all the people in Texas use their blinkers when they are choosing to turn or switch lanes. Its impossible. Or asking for people to stop committing crimes. lol.

I know how this can irritate you. I have similar problems with everyday life. People not moving out of my way when there's 10ft of space to move. I'm like a magnet. Or people talking on the phone while I'm supposed to be with them for an appt. Or, whatever else...

I hope someone can come up with something better, but I really don't think there's much you can do. If you're really all about it and don't care what other people think, you can start posting signs that say what you're saying, all over the school. Become a member or volunteer for the school somehow, and slowly push your way.

Unfortunately, I think majority rules here, even though its breaking the rules. :(

Answer 5

Yeah I know what you mean. There have been times when I had to wait the whole night to even meet the teacher because other parents were "hogging" her going on and on about their kids with her. Some parents think their kid is the best thing since sliced bread and for some reason they assume the teacher will think so as well and that the teacher will want to stand there all night talking about THEIR child LOL you can always see the teacher trying to nudge her way to another set of parents while trying to be as polite as she can.

Answer 6

Heh heh! I know what you mean. At our school, we sit at our kid's seat (so they are so low and uncomfortable :-) and then parents go on and on asking their-kid-specfic question.

Ok, coming to your question - what  you can do other than gritting your teeth or rolling your eyes. Here are some ideas:

1. When you see a parent hogging the teacher's time, butt in, say "I am sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to quickly introduce myself before leaving". Or, say "Ummm,excuse me, actually I have some questions that other parents might also have, can you address generic questions first, so we can leave, and then kid-specific questions are taken". Loudly and with a smile.

2. when you observe a parent conferencing at one of these events, from a few feet away, ask the teacher " I am new to the school, I was wondering if you could share all questions and answers with all parents as some of us are so new and don't even know what to ask?".  I doubt hogger-parent will want to air junior's troubles to all parents.

3. Reach there a few minutes ahead, and speak to the teacher if this bothers you so much.

4. Before the start of the presentation, stand up, smile, and ask teacher if you can say a few words. Teacher will say yes. "Most parents will agree teh first few weeks have been great, and our kids are so excited to have u as teacher. Also, a request to all parents here, please save your kid-specific questions for email/call/arrange an appointment. Ms. Johnson is too polite to say so herself, but she also has to go home..." all the time smiling :)

5. If you overhear a question that you think is not appropriate for back-to-school nite, loudly, ask the teacher, " I am sorry to interrupt, but there were couple of questions I also had about my son John, is it OK to ask you tonite when you get a moment,  or should I send you email/call you to arrange an appointment."

So, basically, butt in, interrupt, cut off that parent. All, with a smile, and a suitable statement to go along with it.