Bad Habbits?

Question

My 10 year old lizabeth sucks her thumb with a blanky that smells discusting and she wont let me wash it when she sucks her thumb she hold's her blanket up to her nose and smells discusting i don't get it and i can't get her to stop what should i do?

I will answer any questions.

Answer 1

A girl in my class still sucked on her thumb in class every day up through 6th grade (about 12 years old) then one day she just stopped.  I don't really know why, maybe it was for social reasons.  If your daughter's friends help you in criticizing the thumb sucking maybe it will go away that way.

Answer 2

she's 10 and still doing that? wow, sorry idk how to help

Answer 3

You have two choices here.  Either you ignore it - it doesn't bother her, so don't let it bother you, or you simply tell it it's time to give up the blanky, and take it from her.  She will be very upset for a few days, but believe me, she will deal with it.

Answer 4

Does she go to school??

Wash it then. Surely she doesn't carry it around all day.

Answer 5

If the issue is the blanket smelling, do it while she is in school or at 10 could you get her to use a different blanket.  It sounds like this is a security issue.  Did you ask her why she needs the blanket and her thumb? at 10 she should be able to give you some information or clues to figure out what is going on.  Good luck

Answer 6

I would wash the blanket when she is at school.  When she gets upset tell her that you are the mother and you needed to do it for sanitary reasons.  Explain to her that it is your job to keep her clean, etc.  just as sometimes she doesn't want to take a bath, you insist she does.  As far as the thumb sucking I would buy some sugar free gum and have it available to her right when she comes home.  You can't chew gum and suck a finger at the same time.

Answer 7

Please do not take this the wrong way:

There could be certain reasons that she has this security issue, especially at 10 years old.

- abusive past (from sibling, school employee, babysitter, family)?

- possible mental problems?

My son has Autism and he focuses almost everything he does on one certain subject or object.

I would bring her to the family doctor, or even a pediatrician and see what they say.

I hope this didn't worry you, just trying to throw in some thoughts.

Answer 8

Please don't take this the wrong way, but since you told your daughter to stop and she won't do it and she has repeatedly disobeyed you, the one way that could really get her attention and signal to her that she needs to stop and that you mean business is if you try spanking her.  

You should try other means of discipline first like sending her to her room, taking things away and so forth, but it seems like you already did that by taking away her blanket.  

I would suggest that you sit down with her and explain that what she is doing is very frustrating for you and that you have tried everything that you could think of but that she needs to stop because of her own saftey since the blanket is not hygenic.  Tell her letting go of her bad habit is a good thing that has to do with growning up and maturing. Ask if she understands you.  Then tell her that she has left you with no other options and explain that if she does it again you will spank her for it.  Make sure that she understands the consequences and then hopefully she will stop.  

If she does not than you will need to follow through and spank her, probably not more than 10 slaps with your hand on her bottom.  Three should be sufficient.  If you do not do this after telling her earlier that you would you will lose credibility in her eyes and she will be more likely to walk over you in the future.  Immediatly before and after you spank her you will need to explain what the spanking is for and that you love her but she has given you no choice.  She may try to reason with you before hand, to talk you out of it, but you must hold your ground and spank her anyway.  If you do not than she will think that she can always get out of punishment in this regard and will go on sucking her thumb.  It will be hard for you to do this, but you must be strong and do it anyway.  You're the parent, lay down the law.  

Once you have finished the inital punishment she may still suck her thumb at first.  Let her know after her first spanking that continuing to suck her thumb will result in the same treatment.  The key thing is being consistent.  Don't let her get away with it even once or she will think that your rules do not mean anything anymore.  Every child is different.  You may need to spank her on several occasions before she gets the message and permanently stops sucking her thumb, but she will eventually and you just need to be firm, loving, and consistent along the way to help her get over this bad habit.  

Again this should only be done if you have already exhausted all other options and she just will not listen, which from reading your question seems to be the situation you desribe.  If you can still think of other means than by all means try them.  Spanking should only be used as a last resort, but once first applied should be stuck with until the problem is solved.  Ten years old is not too old to spank.  If she resists to much during that first spanking let her know that your husband can spank her instead and that it will hurt more.  If she continues to resist than let him do it instead and make it very clear to her that that will happen any other time she resists (if she sucks her thumb again that is.)  

Best of luck to you in finding a solution for your daughter!  Let me know if you have any other questions and if it worked.

Answer 9

My son is 8 and when he gets tired the first thing he does is grab an old blanket he has crawl onto the couch pop the thumb in his mouth hold the blanket and nothing is going to come between the three of them.  He doesn't do it at school only at home or anywhere he sleeps.  I talked it over with his pediatrician and she says he will come out of it if we keep encouraging him to and slowly he is getting better. Just keep reminding your daughter she doesnt need it and if she keeps sucking her thumb she will end up having to get braces and then she wont be able to suck her thumb.  As far as the blanket smelling when she goes to school throw it in the wash.

Answer 10

I'm not trying to sound rude but at ten she should be wayy over rthat by now. if i were you id try to hid ethe blanket while she is at school and when she comes home just act like you don't know where it went. after time she will fill the gap with more age appropriate  activities.

Answer 11

It's very common for older thumb suckers to have an accessory object, a blanket in this case, and the smell is a large part of the enjoyment they have while indulging. This odor, though, is usually short ranged, not affecting anyone outside of, say, one foot distance from it. The germ factor is insignificant in the great majority of cases, probably over 99% of them, so washing it is for you not for her.

If you do wash it you will definitely undermine any trust you value between you and her. Is that worth it?

Perhaps if you make or buy another blanket and let her break it in so that it, too, will retain this odor you abhor, you can cycle them. You'll need her cooperation and understanding if you want to avoid an unpleasant and potentially long term trust issue.

Otherwise, I'd leave it alone. The sneaky advice you're getting here is, in my humble opinion, callous and not considerate of her feelings.

Answer 12

Wash it when she's at school. It's obviously a comfort to her, so I wouldn't get rid of it. Her body's going thru enough changes as it is, she's growing up and maybe that's scaring her, sometimes she'll just want to be a little girl. If it's offering her some comfort it can't be a bad thing, i'm sure she'll grow out of it in her own time, you're just gonna have to persevere.

Answer 13

Does she go to school? You could wash it while she's gone. As far as the thumb sucking, when she does it, stoop down to her level, pull her hand out of her mouth and say "No Lizabeth, don't suck your thumb." If she does it again, stoop down to her level and say, "No Lizabeth." Once more, "No." If she continues, sit her in time out. Be firm when you say this and move her hand away from her mouth each time.

Answer 14

What if you replaced this habit? Could she move on to another lovey to hold (a stuffed toy or small pillow?) Barring that try limiting the activity. Restrict it to certain times (an hour after school or whatever works for her) and make it a condition that it must be washed every so many days. Gradually limit it more and more until she doesn't need/want it anymore. Also, find out why she needs it. It is soothing her from something. If you can find that stress and try to reduce it her need for the comfort may diminish.

Answer 15

I sucked my thumb until i was 7 yrs old the only way that my mother was able to get me to stop was by saying that if i didn't stop I will not get any gifts for my b-day or Christmas and I stopped immediately you might want to try something like that, but if she wants to suck her thumb she will not care if you punish her or not the more you worry about it the more she is going to do it I have an aunt that's 42yrs old and still sucks her thumb so good luck and about the blanket just wash it while she's in school. Good luck