Bad Manners?

Question

My fiance and I plan to get married next year in September/October. We have been engaged a couple of years and always had next year in mind. His brother and his gf got engaged a few weeks ago and now despite knowinmg full well we are getting married next year have gone and boked their wedding for 5th Dec as November was booked up! Does this strike anyone else as awfully bad manners on their part?

Answer 1

i would be in a rage!!!

Answer 2

You have too much to worry about with your wedding to worry about their motives.....Have a great time with yours and dont worry so much about their plans, atleast they didnt upstage you by planning theirs to be before yours.

Dont forget to have a good time at your wedding and dont fret so much.

wish you well.....and have a good time at their wedding too. Theyre going to be family alot longer than this problem, so dont spend so much time concerned about the dates

Answer 3

Why is it rude that other people live their lives while you are living yours?  The world doesn't stop because you are planning a wedding.  

Their wedding is two months after yours.  You get a DAY to have your wedding, do you feel that up to two months afterwards people must still be celebrating solely for you?

I think you are being rude by being so self-centered.  Get over yourself Bridezilla.

Answer 4

I understand where your coming from.  but a little dif one of my closes friends got engaged the summer before me but put off picking teh date until right after i picked mine.  It was only two weekes apart. It really bothered me. I ended moving my wedding from august to june. bc i wanted to be engaged a little over a year at least.  But were both in each others wedding so its gonna be a little stressfull.  I decided to take it that they didnt do in on purpose. It just pissed me off that they had a year longer than me to pick and waited.  It seemes like you did a similar thing by not haveing a concrete date you left it open for others.  Although i do feel they should have talked to yu about it before they picked im sure they didnt do it on purpose or meliciously. And there is a three month time between the two and your gets to be first.  Dont hold a grudge its only make this a more stressful year.  My friend and i are taking it as an oportunity to share ideas and things we learn with each other. Maybe you two should do the same. After all your day still gets to be yours. and youll be the center of attention.  It could be a lot worse she could have been proposed to at your wedding!

Answer 5

Talk about self centered. You've been engaged a couple of YEARS and you are whining because they don't want to wait like you did?  You don't even have a date set.  Jeez.  Stop being pissy and enjoy the festivities. At least they set their date AFTER yours.  Hardly steals your thunder.

Answer 6

I don't see anything wrong with it.... Your family has over a year to plan accordingly....

You have a date set in your mind, she has one too....

I'd be very upset if she had picked the same weekend!

I see that you are trying to be considerate of the family, but they should plan accordingly and not offer more than they can give.

Worry about yours, they should worry about theirs.

Happy planning, and Good Luck.

X-tra tip:

Kill her with kindness

Answer 7

Sorry, but you're sounding selfish.  The events will be completely different with different seasons.  Have you even book yours yet?  It doesn't sound like it if you're giving two months as your window.

I think that theirs close to yours is in no way an issue.

Answer 8

That's horrible they are self fish and didn't even think to consider your wedding self-centred people!

I think you should go ahead with your wedding make sure your dress and cake is ever so more glamours than her's!

Answer 9

What you intended makes no difference unless solid plans had been made. It sounds as if you have nothing reserved or placed in concrete so they had free reign.

I wanted a certain weekend in October, but my cousin already had deposits down and plans made for the same weekend - I deferred to her. I got married 6 months prior instead.

You can still have your fall '09 wedding if you want, good luck though because it sounds as if you live in an area where things book early, just don't let them get to you. They picked a date they wanted, just as you will.

Answer 10

I think they want to get married and I don't think it being two months away from your wedding is a big deal at all. It's not even during the same month. I think your fiance and his bro will be able to bond a lot over the whole engagement and wedding process now that they are doing it together. Get over it. It's like 2 months away!

Answer 11

I think since you still don't have an actual date set just an idea of when you would like to....sept/oct.....you have NOTHING to complain about! They set their date its not the same months that your considering, why are you concerned? Any engagement over two years doesn't count and really if its been more than a year and you haven't set your date it doesn't count!

Answer 12

Just because you are taking FOREVER to get married doesn't mean everyone else in your family should wait around, too!

You don't even have a FIRM month!!!!!

I say kudos to them for being DECISIVE and EAGER.

Pay for your own wedding!!!  Quit crying about money!

EDIT:

You sound so immature and petty.  

I'm embarrassed for you.

Answer 13

I dont think its bad manners at all. You have your day and they have theirs , its 2 months apart.

The only people i feel for are your fiance's parents if they have to contribute twice in two months , but thats for them to moan about not you.

Answer 14

Nope.  You and your groom get one day . . . not a whole year.

How does their December wedding interfere with your September/October wedding?  We are talking different months.

Just keep your planning decisions to yourself.  That way you and brother-in-law's bride will not be sharing ideas.  That way, you won't feel any of your ideas have been "stolen."

Answer 15

Honestly, I just don't think this is that big of a deal. You guys have been engaged for 2 years. You don't even have an exact date other than September or October.

I can see if they did it the same week as you or even the next week, but there is a couple of months in between the weddings.

And honestly, with you guys having such a long engagement, you don't really have a choice. My FI and I set our date and since we got engaged, two of our friends have gotten engaged and set dates-3 weeks before and 3 weeks afterwards. We heard one of the couples wanted the date that we wanted or around there. Well, too bad! We set the date first. If they wanted that date, they should have set it before us.

Answer 16

Owfff

id be fuming , i reckon theyre trying to steal your thunder

now just make urs a bigger wedding with free drinks ha !!

good luck and congrats.

Answer 17

I think they were probably just eager to get married, and they may have forgotton that's when you two guys were due to get wed. Try speaking to them about it, they may move it or something. Good luck :)

Answer 18

really bad mannors, she is stealing your thunder. i'd be angry too.

Answer 19

i'm missing something. if you want to get married spt/oct and they have booked for december, where's the problem? the dates don't clash.

i understand what you mean now. thankyou for explaining.

Answer 20

It's not bad manners at all. But it does take the spotlight away from *them* somewhat. Relatives and friends will be excited about your wedding and then their wedding will be something of an afterthought.

If they had decided to have their wedding a week *before* yours, then I would say that's tacky. But since their wedding is after... who cares? ;-)

Good luck!

Answer 21

No it's really not bad manners, but you feel put out....

They did what a lot of couples do - get engaged, and set a wedding date right away.

You have been engaged a long time already, so shouldn't feel that they are one-upping you or anything - you two could have been long married by now, so it was your choice.

How about you just be happy for them!