Bad family situation, should I tell them they are dead to me?

Question

Here is a quick summary:

Mom left me to my grandma day I left the hospital. Dad was completely out my life before I was born. Grandma died when I was 15 (I'm almost 18 now) I went to live with my mom. Mom has always been a druggie/prostitute in order to obtain drugs. Mom walked out within months of me staying with her. I lived with my sons dad. I was doing good then decided to stay with my dad a month ago because our relationship had got abusive. Dad would go through underwear, nude pix, etc and once downloaded the pix to his phone and has yet to delete them. He knew I had nowhere else to go so he said I had to deal with it. He mentioned he wanted to wife me among other sickly disgusting things. My BD made me move with him. I told my mom and she was all crying and said it was her fault and I sympathetically made her feel better as I have NEVER EVER judged her EVER or put her down for life style! Dad steals my laptop (for his sick purposes) and police state he can keep it if he wants. I get it back. I find out my mom still calls him for money and to "chill". For some reason... this makes me hate her. I don't want them to have anything to do with me and my kid. I was ALWAYS one to forgive. For some reason this is the ONLY thing I feel I can not that hurts me a lot. Should I just tell them they are dead to me and I don't want them in my life? In all honesty thats how I feel.

Answer 1

well all i can tell you is tell your mom not to keep contacting your dad because you dont like him at all and you dont want your son to see anyone like that

Answer 2

i think that you should get a good job and get out of that house as fast as you can its sounds like a h**l house, i cant believe you would actually allow your child to live with these people so called family i'm sorry but i know that they are your parents and everything but you should get some real help from a pro. ( Dr. Phil) it might sound corney but he really does help people.

if you don't want to go all out like that then you should go to another better living environment for you and your son start a new life show him that the world is not all bad. show him that you both can achieve something, if his grandparents as well as his father cant be role models you be his biggest and best one! he will love you for that when he gets older!!  

I think that they should know how you feel and that they should straighten up if they want to see you or their grandson again. move on with your life find a better you for the both of you show your son that he can live safe! eventhough it sounds easy and inspiring but you are very young it will be hard but you will get through!!!!! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!

Answer 3

At 49, years of past alcohol dependency(mine), feeling underappreciated and underloved, I decided enough is enough with mom and dad. I'd hoped that in their seventies, they'd grown mentally and spiritually...wrong. I will continue to send them cards at holidays and birthdays, but their unacceptable behavior just about threw me over the edge this last time. In two days I get a new cell phone plan and a new phone number. It's really tough, but d**n,the alternative has been tougher. Set them aside and make yourself happy.

Answer 4

It looks like you have been dealt a bad hand.. and I admire you for trying to make it better.

It sounds to me like everyone in  your life is dragging you down, and keeping you from pursuing what you want and your dreams.  I would suggest to get away from all of that negative energy and don't let your son live with what you had to.  Make a great life for the two of you. Work towards your dreams, and don't let anything or anyone get in the way of that.

The way your parents live and treated you has only made you a stronger person, and i'm sure you have learned to never be like them, so be better. It's not always so simple to be a single mom that works or goes to school, but trust me, you CAN do it. All you have to do is work your hardest and never give up, it may be hard, but never give up. it is possible to succeed your dreams.

Answer 5

What I would do is start over...dump the baby daddy and your parents! You are a strong woman and dont need people to take care of you...get any job you can right now and go job hunting for a better one. Call a friend and ask if you can move in for a couple nights just to get on your feet a little better. You can have a better life if you choose it. Leave your old life behind and get a new better one for you and your son's sake. I know it sounds easier than it truly is but pray about it and God will make a way for you! You deserve better and you can have better! I will pray for you also! Dont let yourself get down because of this! Us women are stronger than we look and we can make it through anything...yeah it will be hard but in the end, it will be worth it!

Answer 6

my heart hurts for you and I understand the "drama" you are going through, a little advice...

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him" -Booker T. Washington"

Don't allow them (ANYONE) to hold you down or keep you down. You are the example to your child, do you want it to be the same as what you went through? The best way to give you child a chance is to do everything you can to take care of YOU!!

Be the "exemplary example" not the "victim"

God bless you