Bad jokes?

Question

i find reading bad jokes r better than good jokes.So i want to see who can give me a really bad joke.

Worst joke gets 10 points.

Answer 1

two blonds

one buys a pair of goldfish

she says shes calling them one and two

the other blond replys "why?

she replys  "" duhhh coz if one dies iv still got two !

they dont get much worse than that!

Answer 2

no im not tellin no jokes

Answer 3

This little kid about 2 years old is walking by a t.v. and he hears someone say " Green Ping Pong balls". So the kid, as kids do started repeating it " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"

His father snatches him up and says, son tomorrow is your birthday, what would you like for your birthday, the kid still being caught up with his new word  says, " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"

The father laughs and figures fine, hey there cheap, the kids only two, why not so for his birthday the kid gets his green ping pong balls.

He is so happy, so over joyed, he Loves his green ping pong balls, he is the happiest kid ever ! " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"!!

Next year rolls around and is birthday comes around again and once again the father asks the kid what he would like for his birtday and to his surprise,  once again the kid replys " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"

No problem says the dad and the kid is happier than ever !! " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"

This happens for several years in a row and the father starts to wounder,but he doesn't push the issue since it makes the kid so happy,  and hey, there relatively cheap :) but he starts to notice, that after the kids birtday he never see's the ping pong balls again?

The kid is now around 13 years old now and still with the same passion and desire request his beloved " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"

So he gives the kid his ping pong balls but the following day he starts to check his room to see what he's doing with these  green ping pong balls, he turns the room upside down and nothing?

Next few years same thing " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls" and every year the father looks to find them but to no avail.

Now  the kids 16 birtday, is comming up  he thinks to himself hey, he's 16, he just got his licence and I'm sure he's done with the green ping pong balls by now? I'm sure he must be thinking about girls and probably tired or embarressed with us driving him school, I'll bet he's gonna ask for a car or a truck.

but when he ask the now young man what he wants, he replys as always " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls" !

he says oh come on now son, don't you want a car or something? the kid replys No day, thats fine you know I just love my green ping pong ball !!!

So the next day being the kids birthday the father wakes him up and says Son, its your birtday, take a look outside and see what we got you for your birthday? Outside says the kid? with a broken hearted look he asks didn't you get me my green ping pong balls?

Go look outside, and parked in the driveway is a beautiful brand new pick up truck, with a happy birthday on it. still with a disappointed look on his face he says oh thats nice dad, thanks,

the father tell the kid to look under the tarp in the bed of the truck,

the kid goes over and lifts the tarp and to his surprize the bed i Full with green ping pong balls,



the kid is Over joyed !!! " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls" he is so happy,

Go on  son take it for a spin, so the kid gets in and heads down the road, down the road and around the corner he goes

just alittle while later he gets a phone call saying that his son has been in and accedent and is in the hospital. the dad runs down to the hospital to find out that his son will definitely not make it through the night.

They talk and cry hug each other and what not and the father tell the kid the aweful news that he will not make it through the night, the kid says, hey dad its fine, you have been a wounderful father! and my life has been wounderful, ect...  as there saying there goodbyes the though of the green ping pong balls enters his fathers mind so he asks him

Son, you've been asking for green ping pong balls since you were 2 years old, and you derived such joy from these ping pong balls, but I've never seen them after your birtday, what did you do with them?

Oh the son says with a brightening gleam in his eyes and the widest smile you ever saw oh day, I just love " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls", " Green Ping Pong balls"  !! as the heat monitor flat lines  bbbbbeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppp :(

,

Answer 4

A Zen master goes to his hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

Answer 5

why did the cow say moo?

Because its a cow.

Whats red and invisible?

No Tomatoes.

I was doing some experiments in the laboratory the other day.

I dipped a gazelle in some Nitric acid - it melted but nothing too exciting happened.

I sprinkled shrimps into Sulphur - they got burnt slightly, but it wasn't that spectacular.

I then dropped a Panda into some Ammonia - suddenly, there was pandemonium everywhere!

Answer 6

What's brown and sticky?  A stick

Answer 7

* What do you call four matadors in quicksand?

    * Quatro sinko.

    * What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens?

    * Oh-lay!

    *Where can you find an ocean without water? -- on a map

    *Where did the Spaghetti go to dance? The meat ball!!!!

    *Whats the best way to brush your hare?

     Hold him firmly by his long ears and brush gently.

  well thats the worst but kinda funniest i've heard =D

Answer 8

What do you call a cow with only two legs?

                  Lean Beef

What do you call a sick dog?

                  A germy shepard

A man walked into a bar..... man, that really musta hurt!

What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom?

                   Hey!  You are a fungi!  (fun guy)

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Pudding.

Pudding who?

Pudding on your underwear, after you put on your pants is a bad idea!

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

How do you catch squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He was gutless!!

Answer 9

what do you get when you cross a deer and a dill pickle?

a d***o.....

Answer 10

whats worse than a man on drugs?

a man on drugs with a dog!

seriously the worst joke i have ever heard.

Answer 11

My wifes cooking is so bad the flies helped me fixed the screen door. Talk about a bad house keeper, every time I go to take a leak, the sink is full of dishes.

Answer 12

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Answer 13

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Car-go

Car-go Who?

Car-go Beep Beep  

*from my friend in 1st grade*

Answer 14

Living in a vacuum sucks.

Answer 15

toby j^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

hahahaah wtfff?

Answer 16

Airplane food... I mean, am i right?

Answer 17

your mom is so big... she just is!

Answer 18

ummm what is not your chesse?       :nacho cheese

Answer 19

knock knock

who's there?

koala

koala who?

koala the cops, i've been robbed.