Bad mothering?

Question

My neighboor has 2 girls, one age 4 and the other 6. They have been coming over now for about 2 years now and it is disgusting how she treats her children. The kids don't have breakfast in the mornings which then they go to school with an empty stomach. If the kids take a pack-lunch to school it consumes of crisps, chocolate and bread w/ butter. She picks them up at 3pm and comes straight over here, with the kids starving and wanting food. As she drinks coffee one after the other and stays still about 6pm. She asks the girls what they would like to eat. Mainly the youngest will eat pitta-bread or pot noodles and the 6 year old will eat kebab, yorkshire puddings or bread w/ butter. Most nights she would come over with the kids about 8pm when she was over earlier on and go to the shops and buy the kids a curly wurly and a kingder egg, both chocolates. This would mostly be there dinner. She has actually stayed till 11pm on a week night with the kids. She smokes drugs and comes over just..

Answer 1

It sounds like she cant take care of her children i would call social services.  Not because of how she treats them as such because as long as they are actually fed and going to school thats something, but because of the drug smoking.  These children deserve to be somewhere where they are fed properly and ae in a proper routine.  I am sure that social services can help her, give her parenting classes or something, but i would definitely try and do something drastic about it otherwise those children are going to grow up seriously messed up!

Answer 2

Have you talked to her about it?

Answer 3

If there is this kind of neglect and drug use why have you not called in children's services or what ever it is that you call it there?  Why have you waited so long to try and get help for these children.

Please call and report this right away.  These children should have a better life.  If dad is the same than you really don't have any other options.

Best of luck.

Answer 4

call child protective services.

but you need proof she is hitting them like pictures if they have bruises pictures of her doing drugs recording of her on drugs talking that is the only way you can get them away and in a good home in a fast way.

Answer 5

has it occurred to you that she might not have any money to feed them..?

Answer 6

Those poor kids.  I would have cps check into the situation to see if they need to intervine on behalf of the kids, and sometimes they just tell the parents they need to do certain things in order to prevent the kids being taken.  And you should tell her that you can't keep watching her destructive parenting anymore and she needs to stop coming over.  Her coming over puts a burden on you, and even though you feel for those kids there is only so much you can do.  You have your own family to worry about.  You have tried to talk to her and she won't listen and if your concern is high then most likely you need to have someone on her tail to get her stuff together.  I don't like kids taken from their parents, but sometimes things need to change for the kids and she needs a rude awakening.

Answer 7

Please tell the authorities, my two best friends growing up were in the same situation as those two girls. They lived two houses away from me, their parents smoked weed, then it went into crack cocaine, now my two ex-best freinds are drug addicts themselves, doing drugs with their mother everyday, I really wish I could have done something to stop them when they were younger, now there seems to be no stopping them, the police can't magically take away their drug addiction, so please try to get those girls away from that mother as soon as possible, before they start doing what their mother is doing.

Answer 8

Your last line says it all - if you know she uses drugs, she is not a good mother.  You really need to report her to the proper authorities, and the children are clearly not being cared for properly.  Make an anonymous report.  Good luck.

Answer 9

OMG, I feel so awful for those children and then people wonder why there are messed up people in the world!  THAT'S WHY!!!  I hate to recommend this but maybe  you should call a child protective service on her, I guess any other home would be better than where they are now.  I think it's your responsibility to report them since you are aware of what is taking place, for the best interest of the child, before something serious happens and you  won't be able to live with yourself knowing you didn't do anything.  I just hope they don't get split up.  Would you be able to foster them if the government paid you?

Answer 10

REPORT THAT B*TCH!!! she and her husband need those kids taken away from them.... I take better care of my DOG than she does her CHILDREN!!You need to seriously contact athourities and let them sort this thing out. Be a good neighbor...Don't let those children suffer one more day!

Answer 11

First, how can you stand this?  Next, there are parents out there that do NOT KNOW how to be parents.  Have you spoken to the father?  The authorities?  To me, this is neglect and I couldn't stand knowing that it was going on next door.

Answer 12

I find this story disgusting. You are right, this is no way to treat children. Very bad mothering. I'm not saying you should do this but if it were me, and if you had a decent friendship with the husband, I would ask him if he knows what's going on while his at work. Make him aware of the fact that his wife is doing drugs in front of his daughter.  He probably hasn't the slightest idea. If that doen't work, then I would phone CPS because those girls shouldn't be suffering like that. I am sorry, but no friendship is worth that. And the fact that she doesn't feed them properly and that they miss school....? This is plain neglect. Its a concern. Please do something for the welfare of those poor kids. You never know, they might have already had a report already.

Answer 13

Brutal honesty here.

This is not the actions of a mother this is the actions of a selfish woman with problems. No children should have to be brought up in this environment it is tantamount to neglect and abuse.

If talking to her is having no effect - and it sounds like it is not, you should consider getting other authorities involved for the sake of the children. It sounds as if one of the daughters already realises just what an unsatisfactory mother she has.

If in the UK make an anonymous call to the NSPCC who will refer the matter to social services to investigate. This does not mean that the children will be removed from her but they will visit and assess the situation. Perhaps that alone will be enough incentive for her to pull her socks up and start being responsible.

Keep a record of events so that you provide dates - even if writing anonymously. You are not being horrible but looking out for these children with the best of intentions. Children deserve to have happy childhoods and the girls are not getting what they deserve.

Well done for having the courage to speak up and I hope that something positive can be done to help them; the mother included who sounds like she needs professional help and support.

Answer 14

I'm wondering why you haven't contacted the proper authorities, yet... ? You have no obligation to this sorry excuse of a 'mother,' but you *do* have an obligation to speak up for these poor kids... Just turn her butt in. Otherwise, there will be two more junkies, soon enough, from what you've said.