Baptising my son for the wrong reason..?

Question

my son is 10 weeks old and i keep putting the whole baptism thing off cos I'm a non believer and don't intend to raise my son as a believer (but will let him decide)

the only reason I'm gna end up baptising him is cos my dad is dead religious and it would kill him if i don't (i told him i'm a non believer a couple of yrs ago n he took it rly bad n seemed to have forgotten)

another reason i'm gna baptise him is so that he wont b left out at school wen all his friends would be having there 1st communion n all those parties.

i think i should prob baptise him n al that but then let him decide if he wants to go on wit it, but i dnt intend to take him to church and everything.

im 19 n haven't gone to mass since my bros funeral, and i dnt wna have to go just to take my son.

should i jst not baptise him at all (and risk hurting my dad?) i mean he freaked out when i removed the crucifix from my wall (i live wit him)..

or should i grin n bear it n go through it just to satisfy my dad? but keep in mind my son wont be attending mass (unless my dad takes him)

some r tellin me not to bother whilst others r sayin i've got nothin to lose if i go ahead n get it over with. i don't wna hear any nasty comments cos no one can change my belief, i jst wna try do what's right without causing probs in the future..

Answer 1

I think the point of the baptism is to show the world that you are going to try to raise the child in the right way, according to the religion that you are talking about.  You can appease your father by doing it and it won't hurt anything, but if you don't believe it and aren't going to do it then what is the point?  If you are sure that you are correct and there is no God or whatever, then do what you think is right.  

Answer 2

You and your Dad need to sort your ideas out.  So you've gone off the idea of religion.  Is that because you've thought it through, or just because you want to do something different to your Dad?

Infant baptism represents a commitment to bring up your child in the faith until he can make up his own mind.  If you can't make that commitment, don't do it.  But don't expect to get all the benefits of being in a Catholic community if you decide not to be part of it.

Answer 3

It's your child and it's about time you father realised you are an adult and therefore can make your own decisions and as your father he has to accept them whether he agrees with them or not.

Magic man...what a tw@t!!

Answer 4

Tell your father that you don't want to hurt his feelings but you would prefer not to baptize your son.  He must respect that this is your child and it's your choice.  Just be honest but sensitive.  I'm sure he'll understand.

-Magic Man-

Baptism does not get you to Heaven; You must make a decision to trust Christ as your Savior.

"I am The Way, the Truth, and the Life; no man comes to the Father but by Me"  John 14:6

Answer 5

i think you should do what you want to do.He is your son and you will do whats best.If your a non believer dont get him baptised to please others.

Answer 6

Tough one..familiar, too. No one is pressuring me ( i am baptised but not a believer) but although it seems to me hypocrite to take my child to a church and say i'll raise my daughter as a cristian when i do not believe in any of that,well, it's unfair to me and to true believers. BUT it's somehow important to her father and because of that i am willing to go through it. Because i love him.

As for you, and if it disgusts you so much, i wouldn't do it. Only if the baby's child wished it too.

All the luck and hope you find the best solution

Answer 7

JUST DO IT SO YOUR SON CAN GO TO HEAVEN.

Answer 8

It is my personal belief that as he is your child, the decision is yours, not your father's.  I was christened but chose not to have my children christened.  They are both now grown and one has chosen to be baptised and confirmed and the other is an atheist.  I have never imposed my thoughts upon them and wouldn't have let anyone influence me.

Answer 9

I believe that you would be right to baptise your son. Not because of your dad, or any other outside convention, but because you are there to do your best for your son, and irrespective of your beliefs, your son deserves the best you can give him, and you never know, your dad and all the other people who believe in baptism could just be right, and if they are, your son will be better off, whereas if you're right, it won't make any difference.

Answer 10

I have a hard time understanding how a parent can say they do not wish to force their "beliefs" on their child by baptizing them, yet force  "non-belief" on a child. That seems a bit confusing to me.

That child will go to school and the subject of a higher power or "God" will eventually come up. I do not believe you should baptize your child if you have no intentions of living the religion, but you must understand that the subject will need addressing at some point. Either way, you are forcing a belief on your child.

Answer 11

in this situation, i would go ahead and baptize him. it sounds to me, you are close with your father, and care about his feelings.

what would it hurt if you do? you are a non believer, so, you said yourself that you will let your son choose when he gets older. it isn't like you will have to go through a huge process. he will just "choose" not to follow later in life, if he doesn't want to .you said he would go to church if your father took him. so you won't be put out anyway. and lastly, it definetly wouldn't hurt your son. beleiver or not, i would want all the help i could get.

what would it hurt if you don't? your fathers feelings. it sounds like it means alot to him, and im sure it does, if he is a beleiver.

it really depends on how much you care what your fathers feelings are. if you don't care, don't do it, it's your kid. if you do care, do it. it won't hurt anyone if you do.

it sounds to me from your question that you really don't care either way, it is the principle that your father cannot get it that you are no longer a beleiver and you would like to raise your child that way. however, my father is a stubborn man also, but he is also the best man, father, worker, husband etc. i have ever known and nothing could ever sway me to hurt him, so if i were in your shoes i would do it to keep my father happy-he has done more than enough for me over the years-whats a little peace of mind for him going to cost you?

Answer 12

I wouldn't. I take religion very seriously and I think it would be hypocritcal to baptise a child for your reasons.

I'm not a deeply religious person, but I still believe you should take such a committment seriously or not at all. I believe it's about God, not about being social or fitting in. I had a disagreement with my son about something similar last night.

You can always have him baptized later if you change your mind.

Answer 13

do not baptise your son. You will just confuse him more if you encourage religious pursuits but remain an unbeliever yourself.

Answer 14

If you want (and I can't stress that enough), just go ahead with the baptism as more of a family tradition or ritual than for any religious reasons.  That is what we did with our son, as neither my husband nor I are religious people.  It was more of a way to have our parents, siblings, and close family and friends get together to celebrate the latest addition to the family, and not because we were afraid he might spend eternity in h**l if we didn't pour some water on his head.  He wore the Christening gown I wore, which was also the Christening gown my grandfather wore as a baby back in 1907.  It was about the celebration of family and new life, even though it did take place in the Episcopal Church.  Since everyone lived in different states when my son was born, it ended up being the first time my son was together with his aunts, uncles, and all of his grandparents.

But if you are truly opposed to doing it in any way shape, or form, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.  It's your baby.

Answer 15

I don't think you should do this to please your dad. Surely he is over the moon to be a grandfather?

He had his children baptised. The choice with your child is yours not his. Why go to church to pray to a god you believe does not exist? Why on behalf of your child reject a "Satan" you also believe does not exist?

There is no point going listening to words you don't believe, making responses you don't believe. Stick to your convictions.

Answer 16

Don't do it!  I can't stress this enough.  You can only be baptized once.  If you are a non-believer, wait until your son is old enough to accept Christ on his own.  He won't be left out.  I never knew anyone who had a first communion.  lol  He'll be fine.

My daughters are not baptized.  They are 6 and almost 3.  They're fine.  If they choose to believe, they will have my full support in getting baptized.  Until then, we leave them alone.

Your dad will be fine, too.  Let him say a prayer over your son if it makes him feel better, but by all means, do not have him baptized unless you are ready to take him to church full time.

Answer 17

The simple answer is, if you don't believe in it, then don't have a baptism for him. It'd be kind of like paying lip-service to a religion, just to please other people.

It's unlikely your dad has forgotten, but just he'd rather not think about it. If you don't bring it up and he doesn't, then he'll likely get over it.

Unless you live in a particularly religious area or intend on putting him in a religious school (which often try teach the children to believe in their religion anyway) then most his friends likely won't be going through anything like communion. Most parents don't bother unless they're very religious or have family who is and are religious somewhat themselves.

Answer 18

I am a non believer as well I had my son babtized i mean it made my family happy and it didn't hurt my son in any way so I figured why not. It does't mean you have to have him in church all the time or anything like that. It is just symbolic I guess, I look at it as more of a family tradition. My son's father is Muslim and I'm not religious but raised christian/catholic so my son will be able to make his own choices when he is ready.

Answer 19

Well if you don't intend on taking your son to mass or going through with the religion thing, then he wouldn't be doing first communion anyways.  That's for kids that go to mass regularly and take the classes, etc.  I do not think he would be left out in school, but it depends on where you live I guess.  I live in California and way fewer people seem to be religious here.  A child growing up here would not be left out by not being religious, but again, I guess it depends on the community you live in.  It sounds to me like you would be baptizing him for the wrong reasons, so I would say don't do it, and tell your father that you think it is an unfair tradition for babies to be baptized when they don't know why it's happening.  Explain to him that you want your son to be able to accept God and make that choice on his own if he so chooses.  He'll get over it..sounds like he got over being told that you were not a believer.  

Answer 20

I wouldn't do it, let him decide as he gets older. I was baptized Catholic at six weeks and I couldn't even make that choice for myself, I later got baptized as a Christian last year. Do what you feel is best for your baby. Most churches that are Christian won't baptize unless the child is much older and can comprehend what's going on. It's a very select few who baptize so young.

Answer 21

Well you obviously grew up Catholic. I don't think that baptizing an infant should be done unless you are committed to his religious upbringing, it's more of a symbol for the parents, not the child. Since the child doesn't know what is going on and is not capable of making that decision for themselves.