Be honest, does it "upset" you when you hear that someone in this day and age wants to wait until marriage

Question

to have s*x? Why do a lot of people think that one is repressed or "brainwashed" into wanting this. If you have a problem with me asking these sorts of questions (which a lot of you express instead of answering the question), then simply just don't answer.

Answer 1

doesnt upset me, i think it upsets me more when ppl get upset when someone doesnt wait.  either way the decision should be mutual and both parties over 18..its no ones business whether your wait or dont...

Answer 2

Why would I be upset?  I have no reason to be upset at someone for personal decisions which harm no one.  It sounds like you are the one with the problem with it...maybe the people you hang around have made you defensive to this.  If this is the case I suggest you start looking for better friends, or better places to hand out.

Answer 3

Why on earth would it 'upset' me? Whatever people do with their sexual lives is no business of mine, so long as they're not harming anyone else. But please don't hold it out as a 'virtuous' model > these kinds of ideas are hopelessly outdated and I do not think any 'more' of people for waiting until marriage. I just hope that they don't suddenly realise that they and their spouse are completely incompatible sexually.

Answer 4

I think it's silly, but it's your choice.

Answer 5

How could it be anyone else's business what someone chooses to do in this regard?

Do what you want, you won't be upsetting me (or any sensible person) either way.

If some disagree at a philosophical level, have your argument ready.

If they disagree at a personal level, tell them to mind their own business.

By the same token, if we want our views respected, we do need to remember that others have different opinions, and every right to them!

Cheers :-)

Answer 6

I think people are upset because they dint wait until marriage

Answer 7

It kind of makes me laugh.  I mean, who doesn't want to enjoy s*x?  Are we put on this earth to be miserable or try to pursue happiness?  I have learned that most human beings have sexual urges, and making a choice to deny them because they read one book (or maybe didn't even read it) seems silly.  However, 1% of our population is asexual, so it makes sense that those people would wait- they don't care about s*x.

Answer 8

It's just perverse to repress your sexuality

look what it leads to in the clergy

its unhealthy

unnatural

unwarranted

and religion sucks btw

it isnt real

and yet people do this sick c**p because of it

oh thats helpful!

Answer 9

I believe the decision to have s*x should be something that is discussed by a couple and both should believe that this is what is a good for both of them.  I really don't care what other people do and to me s*x is a private matter that should not be dwelled upon by the government or any other group or person.

Answer 10

No, because each person gets to make their own choices.  There actually *are* reasons beyond "because God said so" and the like, I hope everyone realizes -- not everyone does what they do purely because they're being governed by some sort of religious rules.  The reason I don't go out on a killing spree out of boredom has nothing to do with that my religion says this would be bad or even because it's illegal and would likely result in rather serious punishment. . . I just think it's wrong to do that because I certainly wouldn't want someone doing that to me.  

It upsets me much more when other people are trying to imply that they're crazy for thinking this way.

By the way. . . how is making a decision that seems to be going against the current societal trends considered being brainwashed and repressed?  I could make the same argument against those who feel like you describe if I felt like playing devil's advocate right now using the media, pop culture, etc.

Answer 11

Does it upset you that no one is applauding your virginity?

I don't care if one waits or not. I think it's poor planning, but as it isn't my life, I simply don't care. I had no intention of marrying my husband without having slept together first. We wanted to know what we were getting into.

Answer 12

It doesn't upset me, but I think a great deal of people who decide that are somewhat naïve.

You shouldn't need the Church's or the State's permission to have s*x. It's such an arbitrary way of judging when you're ready anyhow.

The expression "try before you buy" sounds callous when applied to love and romance, but it fits. If you're getting married to someone, it's better to know everything about them, including their bedroom personality. Completely disregarding whether or not they're "good in bed," different people see s*x and sexual activity differently. If you find yourself to be extremely dominant, the take-control type, and he is also dominant, you're going to have a problem. Same goes for being too timid/submissive. And having s*x changes the dynamic of a relationship. Some relationships fall apart afterwards simply because it alters the hormones for both people.

And then there's the wedding night thing. A lot of couples, when they plan having s*x for the first time out, end up either with one person backing out, or with the man failing to get hard from pressure/the woman being so stressed out that she's too tight and it hurts like heck. Besides, from what I've heard the first time is overrated, and it's only with practice that s*x becomes enjoyable.

So basically, I don't think waiting before marriage is all that important, and I think it causes more problems than it solves (sometimes resulting in incompatible people being trapped in a relationship).

But even though I don't think it's a good idea, it doesn't upset me what other people do. It's their choice and will be their problem. =]

Answer 13

no.. i think a lot of people associate it with religion. but i'm an atheist and while i'm not waiting for marriage, i'm waiting for a very committed relationship. i don't see why it's anyone else's business anyway.

Answer 14

For the last time, NO. I DON'T CARE.

Answer 15

It "upsets" me to this extent:  We're living in a s*x-obsessed age.  Freud has convinced the world that EVERYTHING is about s*x.  That wasn't always the case.  I feel that both promiscuity, and "ostentatious abstinence," (to coin a phrase), participate in this notion.  Why announce your commitment to abstinence to the world?  Just live it.

Answer 16

It's not what's said, but the way one says it.

The only time it might "upset" me is if the person was declaring it in the kind of tone and implication that makes it sound as if the speaker thinks that he or she is somehow morally superior to or "better" than others who don't wait, or is trying to make others feel guilty for not making a similar choice...or if they're just saying it as a way of gaining Brownie points from certain people. Either way, it's pretty self-righteous.

If you ask me a person certainly does has the right to make the decision to wait until marriage, but I also believe that if someone choose not to wait, they shouldn't be slammed for it either or made to feel like they're the worst person on earth!

The decision to either be sexually active or to be abstinant is truly a personal choice, between the person and a potential spouse. It's really no one else's business.  So why does one need to talk about it to all and sundry? Unless they're trying to convince themselves? Then it becomes a matter of "methink the lady (gentleman) protesteth too much." or to the more cynical amongst us  "famous last words."

Answer 17

Very respectable choice.  Just because we've lost our moral compass as a society doesn't mean you should be bullied out of a sound decision.  Who's trying to brainwash who is what I wonder.

Answer 18

It doesn't affect me at all.  It's about personal choice.  You make your choices.  I make my choices.  And as far as I'm concerned, neither choice is right or wrong.

Answer 19

I think some people get a bit fed up of people harping on about how wonderful and great they are waiting till marriage. It's no one elses business, you don't have to broadcast your s*x life all the time.

Answer 20

I think it proves that the person has a great deal of  respect

for themselves, and knows what they want in life.  Some people just "go with the flow" and get pressured into it, or because "everyone else is doing it".

Answer 21

HONESTLY, i don't feel upset, i'm amazed - i don't know how they do it! I'd give up on the 2nd day lol - im afraid there are just too many good lookers out there to resist!

Answer 22

It doesn't upset me, I just think they're making a mistake.

I see questions all the time on here from young couples who "waited", got married, and now they don't know what they're doing.

They are frightened, worried, feel like failures and don't feel able to seek help or tell people they know. Some of them have been married for 3-5 years, and have never had proper intercourse or experienced an o****m with their partners (both males and females).

The truth is that people who delay intercourse (for any reason) are more likely to end up with sexual dysfunction.

That's an uncomfortable fact that some would prefer to push out of their minds.

Answer 23

I think it's special, but there are very few people who do it. I didn't have a lot of backbone as a teen and the first time I had s*x it was with someone I barely knew and I felt frightened and disappointed. I really do wish that my parents had talked a lot more to me about s*x and relationships. I did not get married until my late 20s and even that didn't work out. I do think there is something special to be said for a man or a woman saving themselves for marriage.