Be honest. What do you think of my (dark) poem?

Question

Perpetually Alone

confined to the dark corners of my tortured mind

i hide in the darkness;

hide from the world, from myself

shivering from the fear, shaking from the pain

my blood soaked heart beats a broken rhythm

with every shattered beat i breathe the pain

there is no escape

as i slowly fade to the world

i hide in the shadows of an aching past

wishing, wanting, yearning for an end which will never come

for i am alone

perpetually alone

so what do you think? does it sound good? professional? does it make you feel something? is it relatable? is it good enough to be published? what should i change? what is the worst part? the best?

^^please answer any of the above. thank youuu

Answer 1

Interesting poem is what I think.  It does sound good, not sure about professional as that is a matter of opinion but it is very good.  This poem took me on a ride I have been on before and for that alone it is very good, do you write poems of different genure or just that one?

Best Wishes

Answer 2

Yeah very very cool

you should give that to a girl

Answer 3

i like it...

it sounds good...ive written poetry like that before when i was in my "emo" phase lol..

but yea its relatable for me and prolly for alotta other ppl out there..

good job

=)

Answer 4

You could end it with,-

my mind fading to black as the time passes in my prison that is my mind a place where I thought I was safe before now I find all is lost from my past. The dark corners of torture now covers all the fears and pain.  with out comfort I see no light as no time will ease the lose of all that has been.

Very good poem.

Answer 5

you scare me mate.