Becoming a single mom?

Question

I'm thinking of becoming a single mom. What are the obstacles i will encounter? I know this is a lifetime commitment. Do you think i should tell this to my parents? They're pretty conservative and they'll probably think that i'm a child myself since i'm only 23.

Will the lack of father love make my child hate me?

Answer 1

I think the idea to choose to be a single mom at your age is just absurd.  I was 18 when I got married and pregnant.  I'm now 28 and divorced.  If it wasn't for my parents, I don't know what I'd do.    I work full time and when my son isn't in school or at his dad's, my parents keep him.  He ties up a lot of their time, which when I am in a spot and don't have other options....I feel like such a loser.  I have no other choice, but to depend on them.  I don't trust just anybody with the care and well being of my child.  Luckily they understand that.  The thing is....I didn't intentionally put myself in this situation.  You are thinking about it.  If it's an unplanned pregnancy, then I totally understand.  I would do it.  Being a single mom is ten times better than having an abortion, as long as you can handle putting someone else's needs before yours for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

It probably won't make the child hate you. However you should have an alternative male figure in the childs life that it has regular contact to, otherwise it's emotional development may get stunted. Since no matter how much love you give it, there will be a noticeable gap.

Best would simply be if your father, or the childs grandfather can take the gap. Play with the kid, be a positive male role model in it's life. Either that or a good personal male friend you trust to play with the child and be there for it per se.

This is especially critical for boys who psychologically need a male role model to latch to. Hence sociologists always complaining at the low amount of male teachers in elementary schools not being good, etc..

Answer 3

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE A SINGLE MOM?  It will be SO hard.  you will have to work 10 times harder.  You will have to support yourself and a baby.  You will have NO help with the baby.  It will all be on you.  OMG I could not imagine being a single mom I don't know how they do.  Single moms are supper women.  Good single moms are amazing strong people.  I respect them so much.    

Do you have what it take to be a supper women?  I don't think it would be fun and I think if you want a baby wait till you find a man that loves you as much as you love him and have a baby together.  Babies need some type of father figure.

I'm 25 and will have just turned 26 when I have my first baby.  I'm having my child with the love of my life and he is so supportive and caring I would not have it any other way.  When you are pregnant and an emotional wreak you really need someone to love you and just hold you.  I don't know what I would do with out him.

Answer 4

As a 24 year old woman I can tell you that as much as I love kids, I would not want to be a single mom yet.  If I can't find a man by the time I'm 35 I might consider adoption....but there's no way I'd consider it now.  It takes a lot of money, time, support and maturity to raise a child.  I don't know many young 20 somethings that have all of those bases covered.  I sure don't!

Answer 5

Why are you in such a rush to jump into parenthood at 23?  There is a lot of life out there to experience, and that will all change dramatically once you have a baby.

Aside from the fact that you will not have a partner to support you and help you care for the child, you will face a lot of financial obstacles.  Children are much more expensive than most people realize, and with one income, it makes it that much more difficult.  Daycare, diapers, clothing, school expenses, college funds, and so forth--that will all have to come out of your paycheck.  And parenting is a very hard job.  It is even more difficult when you don't have a partner to help you out, give you a much-needed break once in a while, and be there for you and your children.

You are much less likely to get married in the future if you have a baby on your own now.  A lot of young men don't wish to get involved with someone and have the potential for a ready made family--they would just as soon choose someone without so much baggage.

Numerous studies have been done that show children fare better when they are raised in a two parent household.  They are at lower risks for poor life outcomes when they are raised by both parents.

I think you should really think this over before jumping into it.  There is plenty of time for you to think about having children in the future.  Enjoy your twenties, work on your career, hang out with your friends, and meet a nice guy who treats you with the love and respect you deserve.  Then maybe the two of you might think about settling down and making a family together.

Answer 6

No they wont hate you , but there will be times when that child is going to need the love of a father and him not be there.

For a boy there will be no one to play with him(sports) or how to be a man, because even though you do everything you can and show all the love you can but you personally can't show him how to be a man because you are not one.

girl- she will think that it is ok to raise a child on there own.

Dont get me wrong there are lots of great people who are single mothers and have great respectful kids it's just I think that something will be missing in their life.

If you can do it all the power to you.

Answer 7

your child will not hate you but believe me there will be tons of questions. My 6 yr old son now asks me like everyday mommy who is my daddy and i dont have the heart to tell him that his father didnt want anything to do with him. Think long and hard about this do you wanna put a child through that not knowin who there father is? i wish i had it to do all over again everytime my son asks who his father is i die inside