Bed time issues with my 3yr old..repost?

Question

First off sorry this is long...I wanted to give lots of details. I took some stuff out. This wasnt getting answered.

I have a 3yr old so just will not go to bed and will not stay in his room once he FINALLY does stay in bed, doing the super nanny style, you know no words sitting at his door or game room. Usually two hrs after Ive started he sleeps then he is back into my room at 12 or 1 am. Screams and wakes the whole house if I put him back into his room. I dont mind the 5-6 am stuff but not that early..I have to sleep too. And my infant is up two times or so also. Once he crys to eat it wakes the 3yr old in my room then I have two kids at 2am to get back to bed. No DH isnt home 1/2 the time at night to help me with this.

He can work the k**b covers so we took off the gripper part so you have to stick your fingers in the hole to open it, figured that out. I did do the lock thing till we went to bed he uses whatever, even his monitor plug to open it. And the gate at his door high so cant get under...still can climb it.

So, I did what my neighbor does and just shut the top gate and let him hang out till he get tired. Hope! He now knows how to open the top gate. I dont know how since I have a hard time with it. I even resorted tonight to put tape on it till I go to bed..nope he took it off.

MIND you we do have monitors in both rooms and the bath room so I can hear whats going on down stairs.

Im loosing it. he wont nap so I cant catch up then. HELP!

* 36 minutes ago

* - 3 days left to answer.

Answer 1

Whew!!  Just reading about your son made me tired!  I can only imagine how you feel!!!  This is what I did with my son (he is now almost 4)....

One afternoon I said "we are going to use a new bedtime routine tonight.  I will read you one story, kiss you goodnight and tuck you in.  I will tell you I love you and then it is good night.  After I say goodnight, I am going to bed to sleep.  If you get up, you may go potty and then go back to bed by yourself.  Please don't wake mommy."

When it got closer to bedtime I said "I am looking forward to our new bedtime routine"

At bedtime I said "It is time for our new bedtime routine"  I did EXACTLY what I told him earlier in the day.  I then went to my room and waited.  When I heard him get up, I thought he would come to my room, but then a tiny miracle happened!!  He went potty and then tucked himself back in bed!  He even slept for 14 hours that night!!!  I don't know how or why it worked, I just know it worked and he hasn't gotten up since!!  Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Hmm...Im really not sure. If this were my daughter, I would be very stern. I would try to make the thought of getting out of bed and waking mommy up in the middle of the night as unapealing as possible with very stern words, even a couple of swats on the butt. If I knew that she needed to go to potty at night, I might try putting a potty seat thing in her room so she could go and still be locked in her room.

Im gonna have to think about this one...

Answer 3

Well, I know you took some info out, but did you ever mention that you have a "wind down" routine with your son?  Please don't roll your eyes because I have a few more suggestions as well.

1. Try to develop a routine before bedtime that will signal that it's going to be bedtime.  You can try the usual stuff like bath and reading, or your child might respond more to active play to tire him out.  Try setting a timer and telling him that when it goes beep, it's time to go to bed.  Have him acknowledge by repeating back to you that when it beeps that it's bedtime (this is what I do).

2.Another suggestion is to clear the room of toys so every toy is in a storage bin or drawer and that all clothes are in closet or dressers with drawers closed.  Remove any floor toys, remove the monitor, remove night tables and lamps.  Make the room very simple and the main focus is the bed for sleeping.  Dress up the bed with his favorite sheets, blankets, and pillows that he has picked out.

3.Remove the gates and the k**b covers...they don't work and he's mastered them, so he'll only wind up hurting himself with them and destroying your door and or door frame.  Instead, explain to him that it is time to go to bed and he will not be able to open the door once it is closed. THEN install one of the two options that are displayed in the links below.  Both are security door stoppers that will make sure the door stays shut.  He'll have to throw his fit and cry it out.

Personally, I would do all three of these things together and stay consistent and get used to the yelling and possible trashing of his room he may do (that's why I suggested removing items from the room to strip it down to the bare minimum).  It may take 2 weeks or even more, so grow a thick skin, but you have to show him that you are the parent and your standing your ground.

Answer 4

has he always been like this or did it just start recently?  Also, do you have any idea why he doesnt want to be in his room?  Is he scared, or just wants to sleep in your room? Does he have a night light?  If not, try to put one in his room, one that he would think is really cool.  You could also go get him a special toy that he can only have when he goes to bed, let him pick it out (as long as its a reasonable price) so he will really feel attatched to it. I put a CD player in my daughters room and play lullaby music when she goes to bed, that helps.

Answer 5

You might try shutting down the lights and noise level

when it is time for bed.  These are both stimulus's and

will keep his mind racing. You have an infant also?  The

three year old may be going thru a rough adjustment to

that.  I know it is hard right now, just be patient and let

him know you still love him, etc. When my brother was

that young, he had severe adhd, my poor mom was lucky

if she got 2 hours of sleep, and she had 4 of us. You

could have his dr check him out, maybe do a complete

evaluation. Intervention now will be more helpful to your

son and to you. Good luck