Been hair, done that: Brett Keisel and The Beard’s rocky relationship
Now the Pittsburgh Steelers are made of grit and determination and no player personifies this more than defensive end, Brett Keisel.
This year, Keisel’s game has found a new dimension and it’s no coincidence that his beard has grown along with his game.
Now the rest of this article needs is to be read by an announcer guy from the movies, Don LaFontaine. Him and some dramatic music. You can picture it so now read on.
History has known many famous facial follicles. Abraham Lincoln and his chin goatee, Rollie Fingers, and his handlebar moustache, likewise, the history of the Pittsburgh Steelers is covered like an unshaven face with legendarily rugged men.
Jack Lambert. “Mean Joe” Green. Terry Bradshaw.
These are names synonymous with the success of the Steelers. During Super Bowl Sunday, there was a new name to add to this historic list: “The Beard”.
“I’ve always had a beard”, said Keisel, “I mean, ever since I could grow one when I was seven years old, I’ve always had a beard”.
But before the 2002 NFL Draft, The Beard and Keisel took a straight razor to their relationship, parting ways in a misguided attempt to look presentable to potential NFL suitors.
Kiesel went in the seventh round and The Beard was selected last. The Beard soon returned, but was in a compromised state, too neat and too tidy to operate at maximum brutal efficiency. Yes, Keisel did manage to win two Super Bowl championships, but The
Beard languished in obscurity.
During one especially dark period, The Beard was nearly cut.
“I was like ‘if you want me to shave it, I’ll shave it'”, said Keisel, as tears fill his eyes thinking about the tragic moment, “they said ‘no, don’t shave it'”.
And the roles soon reversed when Keisel lost his way.
“Last year was disappointing though I decided after minicamp, ‘I’m just gonna let this thing…eat”.
The Beard then flourished, taking Keisel by surprise.
“Well, I didn’t know it would blossom into this beautiful flower”, Keisel said proudly.
And like all delicate flowers, The Beard requires special treatment. How does it prepare for a big game?
“Get a good night’s rest. Wake up in the morning and get some coffee. Steam it out. Also I like to go in the shower and get my condition on; you know make sure it’s nice and soft”.
But does it present any problems to you?
“Football helmets are the ones that mess it up. It gets all over the place and gets in my mouth. I’m working on taming it and keeping it controlled”.
But not too controlled. Like Samson Satele and his hair, Keisel and his beard are a terror to all who dare stand in their path.
“My beard dominates anyone’s beard. That’s how I compare them”, said Keisel.
And beyond the domination, The Beard serves as a bridge to the Steelers’ past.
“Man, the game was different back then, man”, Keisel said with a laugh, “You could get away with some stuff and those guys would beat you down and tell you to like it. When you played against ‘em, you were gonna feel it for a week”.
A rare find in this day and age, a beard that respects it elders and a beard that also exhibits the swagger required to excel on the big stage.
“My beard is the best beard of all time”, Keisel stated.
And what, pray tell, did the beard predict for Super Bowl Sunday?
“For sixty minutes, there’s gonna be a dogfight”, said The Beard. And it was.
In other words, been hair, done that.
This article is based on the humorous statements put forward by Brett Kiesel, and the writer intends to present light entertainment to the readers. These are the writers own opinions and are not in any way related to Bettor.com's editorial policy.
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