Been married a week and having Problems?!?! Am I wrong here?

Question

My husband and I have been married 9 days. We live in College Station where I go to school, however he is a firefighter about 70 miles away. I am 5 mons pregnant and VERY emotional and don't like to be alone at night but I put up with it for his job. When he signed up for shifts he was being a "Guy" and didn't think about 3 nights in a row of being away from me... well tonight is day 1 and he just called to say that he's not coming home because it is not worth it to drive up here at 7 and then leave at 5 to go back...

So i don't get to see him until Thursday!?!?!?!? Am I wrong to be upset here?!?

Answer 1

That's a tough situation. But he does have a point, even though you're suffering as a result. He probably knows that you're upset. Don't pressure him too much though. I can imagine that his job is stressful, and he probably doesn't want to be worrying about any more than he already is.  

Answer 2

Being an Fire Fighter is an honor, and you are pissing all over that. Stand up, and be that honorable fire fighting wife. Pump that baby out, and get use to those three on, three off, because you married a fire fighter, not a Policeman.

Answer 3

No. He obviously considers his job more important than his wife and child.  

Answer 4

well of course you aren't wrong to be upset, but definately don't get too mad at him! youre going through mood swings&that could effect how you feel. call him later and explain to him that he should be there for you when you are carrying the child. don't make it too forward, or he might get mad. just understand it is his job and he probably wants to be there for you:]

Answer 5

well maybe you should have talked about this before marriage because a husband is supposed to help his wife out and try to compormise with her

Answer 6

Do you like food? Do you want to pay rent? Do you realize money doesn't grow from trees? Let the man work and quit feeling sorry for yourself! Be glad he has a job. Babies aren't cheap!

Answer 7

Your just anxious, I think that's normal. Take it easy, go do something you like to get your mind off things. You said you were getting emotional and stuff. Than you should know that you need to relax and don't dwell on the problem too much.

  

Answer 8

OH yeah and honey get used to it because i've never meat a fireman that was honest and thought of anyone but his own hero complex!

Answer 9

If you're being all psycho and emotional, most guys don't know how to react to that and it's just easier to stay away..  Talk to your OBGYN about your hormones.. there might be some kind of food you can eat or natural way to keep yourself from being so crazy emotional while you're expecting..

Answer 10

Yes you are wrong but just call him and tell him you miss him and wish he was there. Without an arguement.

Come on you know how crazy firefighters schedules are. They aren't working 8 hour days.

Answer 11

You love the drama, it's why you married and got pregnant by him.

Answer 12

you just said you put up with it but it doesn't sound like you are. you married him knowing his job is demanding. i know your hormones are crazy but thats life babe. 70 miles IS a pretty far drive. enjoy having time to yourself, don't play the victim!

Answer 13

I am trying to be honest, ok? I think you probably knew all this before you married and I also think you are being ridiculous! LOL There are people who got married and someone got shipped off to Iraq. Yes, I know this isn't you... but remember your problem is nothing compared to other people...You are going to chase him away.  

Answer 14

I don't think so maybe you should talk to him first see what he thinks about the situation! But yes I think you are in the right to be mad!

Answer 15

don't get upset... think about him too... it is a tuff thing to be going up and down.. and afterall, he'll be back in a few days... put up with it.. for his sake

Answer 16

The fact that he traded shifts because he realized that it was just too hard for you being pregnant and having him be away so much is very sweet.  It shows that he is one of the mature guys not one of the imature guys.  Good luck honey, to me it sounds like you got yourself a keeper!!

Answer 17

You have a point, but he also has a point.  He is thinking about bringing in the money while you are thinking about the time you spend together, which of course is natural.

You need to understand that you knew what his job involved before you married him.  He also needs to understand that you are pregnant and when it comes time for bub to come that you need his support at this time especially.

Answer 18

Yes, I think you are making a problem for yourself. You should either learn to adjust, or find some other source of companionship (friend, dog, whatever.)  It won't do you any good if he kills himself falling asleep while driving.  

Answer 19

well for marrying a firefighter that works 70 miles away, you should of known something like this would happen. I guess i would be upset as well though. try talking to him about it.

Answer 20

I was a firefighter and on your shifts you had to stay the night at the fire station.  What if he is on a fire?  Here they can keep you 21 days before a day off.  Marrying a firefighter you need to be able to be an independent woman, divorce is high in our profession.  

Answer 21

Yes, you are wrong because he has to work, okay. See if you can get one of your girlfriends to spend the night with you while he is  away. It will be okay. You do need the money, right?

Answer 22

well i think that you do not want to turn into those stupid wife who gets mad about her husband working to much, someone has to make money here right???... besides you should be happy that he works and much more that he does it somewhere he likes... stop blaming your pregnancy for being so emotional. be strong women!!!

Answer 23

I really don't think there is a right or wrong here. You both have your own feelings about the situation. It sucks to be alone at night, especially while you're pregnant, but you don't "need" him there. Driving 70 miles each way before and after work is exhausting and a waste of gas. I know you want him to put your feelings first but honestly the two of you need to sit down and work out a compromise.

Answer 24

h**l yeah, curse him out

Answer 25

yes. it's not like he doesn't want to see you. he is just trying to figure the best option out for his job. i mean gas isn't free.  

Answer 26

Don't be upset you'll be ok your honey coming home to you ok.you have a good man in your life.your both gonna be good parents.CONGRATULATIONS WITH YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 27

It's FINE you are upset!

He doesn't mean to upset you.

I'm sure he thinks he's doing what he thinks is right.

Men will be men.

Answer 28

No dont be upset. He works and just tell him that next time you sign up for a shift use your brain and think about you and the baby! Plus make him feel gulity as h**l your preganet so make his life h**l order him around

Answer 29

Yes you are.  You shouldn't have gotten pregnant and then married because of it.  You knew he was a fireman, so you can't complain about that.  Military wives go for as much as 15 months without their husbands, so you have nothing to complain about.  You made your bed, now be quiet and sleep in it.  I have no pity for you at all.  

Answer 30

try to be nice...you have a long road. It will feel longer if you pick little fights and are too sensitive about the small things.  You have to be careful about choosing your battles in a relationship.  

Answer 31

Your husband should spend every night with you.  Seventy miles isn't too far too drive to spend the night with your wife, particularly if she's pregnant.