Been trying to call my hubby and ?

Question

After i found him with another woman in bed, i walked out on him that was more than an hour ago.. i tried to call him and he didnt answer the phone.. he texted me just now and said , u wait im on my way there now. i dont know what to expect ? has this ever happened to anyone ? im so scared that he might choose that other woman and leave me and our kids.. i dont know what to say to him either.. im so heartbroken at the moment..

Answer 1

Firstly, don't let him have the option!  If you accept him back that easily he will cheat on you again and again.  you tell him you don't want to see him anymore and to get out.  He still has to pay you money for each child you have under 16 so don't worry about finance.  Also, since you have kids you will get more than 50% of what you both own.  Make him want you back and make it as hard for him as possible.  

Answer 2

****LEAVE NOW****

Please call your local crisis hotline.  Seriously, no one deserves to be threatend.  There are shelters who will take in women & children for their safety.

They are your advocates to help you.

Call a friend, neighbor, relative, or crisis hotline.

Answer 3

AWWWWW

im sooooo sorry D:

its never happened to me before, but, i know you'll do whats right.

im SO sorry your in this situation :[

and, you'll get through it..

im SO sorry! </3

Answer 4

He is the one who should be scared not you.  You have done nothing wrong!  I wouldn't even let this scumbag back into your life.  I really don't know what to say.  Wait and see what he comes up with.  But you can't be scared of leaving him - not at this point.

Answer 5

Well something similar but i found out before he went further. Look you already caught him cheating on you and your still with him. I would of left him on the moment i saw that. You dont need someone like that im pretty sure he is still seeing her. You deserve better than that you and your kids. Ofcourse if he really loves you he wont leave you for her i think you should sit down with him and let him know what you feel tell him that this cant be going on if not he has to leave. You need to love yourself more than that girl if not hes gonna be stepping on you all the time. TRUST ME!!! GOOD LUCK AND BE STRONG!

Answer 6

wait, see what he has to say but dont worry about what he's gonna do.  Dont give him that power over you.  He cheated on YOU.  What are YOU gonna do?

Answer 7

you need to seek counseling both of you guys you need to sit down and communicate with him and see what you can do to be a better wife to him but also don't think that this is your fault he decided to do that but you need to seek counseling for sure. but you also need to pray that always helps me

Answer 8

LEAVE YOU??

YOU SHUD LEAVE HIM!!!!!

Answer 9

Just be strong.  I had the same thing happen where my wife cheated on me.  It hurts the most because it's so fresh.  Time will heal it and if you and he are ment to stay together it will happen, but if its not, you move on and take care of those kids.  Good luck!!  I feel your pain!

Answer 10

If he has every been abusive, don't open the door and call for help.  If you think you can trust him not to hurt you or the kids, maybe you should get someone there to mediate just to be sure you and the kids will be safe.  There have been so many wives and children hurt because the husband cheated and got rid of them.

Answer 11

first of all you can write me off of this site if you so choose.

You ned to understand you are going to think about a lot and you shouldn't make any decissions at this time. Thinks to think about.

1.  ask him to go and get a medical check up to make sure he doesn't have anything in the way of a STD from her or anyone else.  

2. you need to get checked up too, men do lie and cheat, but not in that order.

3. you have kids, and you have to think of them and not yourself at this point to incl.  can the marriage be saved,  is he the father of the kids, how close are the kids to him,

4. This is hard to take, but please understand, your hurt now, but only your trust has been hurt if his and your health are fine.  You will need to have some professional help to get past this and to find out why this happened and what is wrong with your marriage that he did this or with him.  

A few points,  love is not s*x and s*x is not love.  Your husband can still love you and most likely does and wants to save this and keep it from going into the courts and a divorce.  If you feel the same way, ask a few simple questions like a friend would not like a wife.  Take the answers as infomation, not to heart.

1.  why did you do this?

2.  what is wrong with our marriage?

3. do I knot fulfill all of your needs?

4. do you want to end this and save or marriage, or end or marriage?

    (their can only be one ore the other, their is not happy middle of the ground in a marriage at this point.

I wish you the best, try to relax and breath in and out and talk softly with him.  Loosing your temper will not help this, and tears will only show him a weaker side and your showing him sides now, your trying to learn and gain infomation and to find a footing.

John

Answer 12

Do you honestly want to still live with a man who is having an affair with another woman? When he comes you should set him straight. Tell him what hes done wrong because honestly that is bad! Be sure to let him explain, but you be the judge. No man is worth having if hes slept with another woman. It effects the overall trust because than you begin to question where his love and loyalty are at.

Yes, its happened to me, but we were only dating. It was heartbreaking at first, but i did get over it because i knew i did the right thing.

I know you're thinking about your kids, and so your judgement on a good father is crucial. I can't really tell you what to do because you have to determine that for yourself. Remember, his actions will influence them. Don't be afraid and don't let him rule over you. You aren't the culprint at all, and you haven't done anything wrong either.

Answer 13

Maybe he didn't answer your call because he was "finishing up" with the other woman.  Now he wants to order you to wait for him.  I wouldn't wait.  Leave now!  Let him wonder why you aren't there.  Take the kids and go to your parents or friends.  You don't need that jerk.  You will get through this - it'll be hard, but you will be okay.  

Answer 14

Just Calm yourself down and let him talk. Then ask him why he is doing this and if he still loves you because you still love him and will be able to forgive him as long as you know this will never happen again.

Answer 15

I know you're heartbroken.

When he gets home, kick his @ss, and leave him at least for the night.

Don't say anything else, just leave him

Answer 16

I"m so so so sorry! I hope everything works out for you two. Just try and remain calm no matter what. Dont' jump all over him even though I know you are beyond betrayed and upset. Good luck!!!

Answer 17

hubby gone wubby?

Answer 18

Why are you scared? You weren't the one cheating.

If I were you I'd NOT speak to him tonight at all - but spend the night elsewhere and take the time to collect yourself. Its too raw and fresh now - you may say or do something you will regret.

Sorry.  

Answer 19

Yes, it has and once a cheat almost always a cheat ~ the only way to fix things is to get counseling and seek God both of you and that is what you need to tell him if he stays

If not then throw him out the door, get a good divorce attorney, take him to the cleaners, get a counselor for you/your children and join a church for healing and your children will enjoy it too.

http://celebrationcovenant.com/

Answer 20

Maybe you should be the one to tell him its over. He was the one cheating not you so make sure that he doesn't turn it around and try to make it your fault.

This is the time when you need to be strong for yourself and your children.

You can ask him to find some place else to stay tonight until you have a chance to figure out what you want to do!

Answer 21

dont come back.. just talk to him and say i cannot believe you did this to me.. I thought you love me..and what is wrong with you. i married you for the only reason i thought you was my husband when you said i do on our wedding say that.

Answer 22

its time he got his ... now dont be were he wants you .. make him look for you .. and let him know .. your upset with him .. .. make him come to you .... or ..stay were he was .. .. you dont need him at all.. wake up. girl...  

Answer 23

You need time to think this over. Don't make any rash decisions. You need to digest what just happened and try to get over the shock. This may take time. Then decide what to do once you are thinking clearly. Honestly, I've never had this happen to me but I feel for you. Good luck!

Answer 24

you should leave him.

Answer 25

I wouldn't believe a word that he says - he's now had time to think up a good lie so whatever he says he's full of it.  

Answer 26

You need some time alone to think this over. Don't try to figure it out until you've had time to assess the situation. Don't make any decisions until you've both calmed down.

Idk, just my opinion, but I'd be super p-ed right now, and I'd probably do something I'd regret if I saw him.  

Answer 27

you shouldn't have called him

hes an @$$ he cheated on you and u want him  back?

comon ur better than that!

respect urself

tell him 2 get out

so what if he picks the other women

HIS LOST HE WILL NEVER BE AS HAPPY WITH HER AS HE WAS WITH YOU

Answer 28

why would you want him back? now what if she got pregnant?

can't you see the heartache this will bring you? don't let him back in,

you've got to have some pride. he just held another woman in his arms and made love to her,  use your brain, don't let him back in.

   believe me he will be back to her see her again, no matter what he says.

Answer 29

ahg what a jerk

i am sooo sorry

if it comes to divorce .....its a terrible thing....

im 14 and my parent have been divorced since i was 4...

its the most stressful and agonizing thing

try to go to a marrage counselor with him... and maybe work it out

im so sorry he cheated on you

and hes an idiot

if you think hes full of it or lying (because he obviously has been lying)

dont stay with him

its not worth MORE heartbreak...

but if you do get a divorce...just...try to keep it friendly.

Answer 30

At least he's talking to you. Mine wouldn't even speak to me or phone me afterwards. Not even once. So there is hope if you want him. I'm not sure I would after that. Yes it has happened to me. If you want him, you may have to always live with his infidelities and know that he is untrustworthy. But if he's someone you love very much, and really like in other ways, that may be worth it. I left a guy like that who I loved very much years ago, and I have always regretted it.

My husband though, was unfaithful and lied - and I never regret that he's gone. He was a mean person through and through.

Yet the one that was more unfaithful, and more honest, was more worthy of love.

I hope that helps. Think if you love him enough to tolerate infidelity. If so, stay -= whatever anyone says.

Oh, I just read your next part. If he's violent, it is easy. Just leave. There is no excuse for violence and do whatever it takes to help yourself to leave him, and to get the kids away. Good luck...

Answer 31

Let him know how you feel.  Let him know how much he hurt you, and how it threatens the future of your family.  Tell him that if he wants to reclaim his family, he has to go to marriage counseling with you.  Don't let him just come back without going through this step.  Otherwise, he will just cheat all over again.  Good luck and best wishes!