Behaving out of character... What's wrong with me?

Question

Hi,

About six months ago I was diagnosed with depression. I was as low as I could ever be. I self harmed and took an overdose. Now I'm 'back to normal' although I wouldn't describe this as normal because for the past few weeks I have behaved completely out of character!

At the moment I'm in an extremely high mood, full of energy even though I hardly sleep. I started smoking, even though everyone who knows me knows how much I hate it. I started spending money on things that I didn't even need or want. I'm also gambling a bit. And I think the worst thing is, which is also illegal, driving round with no insurance. I just never think of the concequences when I'm feeling like this. I have so many ideas going through my head... My mind races!

It feels fantastic, but I'm also aware that behaving this way is completely unlike me. i.e the smoking, gambling, driving with no issurance, are all things I'm against. Yet I'm happy to go ahead and do it without thinking. Although this feels good... I'm guessing something is wrong.

What's going on with me?

P.S. I am no longer driving, as my girlfriend found out and I was forced to stop.

Answer 1

It sounds like you have bi polar disorder where you have elevating moods and racing thoughts and it WILL feel good but you will eventually come down again. Go and see a doctor

Answer 2

You may be Bi-polar,get a referral to a mental health specialist.

Answer 3

Manic depression is a type of disorder in which the brain misfires serotonin. This results in the person having an intense burst of energy one day and a big down time the next. I also suffer from the same symptoms. Before my suicide attempts I was a "good boy." I hated the thought of drugs and cigarettes.  I always respected the law and feared authority. It wasn't until after wards that nothing mattered. I was scum, people didn't respect me, I was unlovable, etc. These thoughts eventually pushed me to myself in the way of harm. I would go on midnight drives, hitting speeds up to 140 mph. I also started smoking, not just cigarettes. I would go online and buy buy buy useless and pricey things, only to throw them away and buy new ones. Even now, I put little value on money. I treat it like air (even though I don't have much of it).

Manic depression is something that needs to be dealt with. Spend more time with friends. Spend more time with family. Avoid being alone. This also means avoid being alone in crowds of people you don't know. Let the people you trust be your conscience. Continue seeing your therapist and tell him/her that you're still experiencing symptoms.

Answer 4

It does sound very much like hypomania. Go see your doctor. It may feel good now but it can and will degenerate into depression or worse. Antidepressants can easily push someone who is bipolar into a manic state and this is often the time when bipolar if first diagnosed. Do not stop taking your meds but go see your doctor soon.

Answer 5

Go see a psychiatrist.  You sound like you are hypomanic, a milder form of mania, which is a very big deal.

I'm guessing that they gave you an antidepressant for the depression.  Antidepressants w/o stabilizers can flip ppl with bipolar manic.  That sounds like what may have happened to you.  Seriously, see a psychiatrist for an evaluation.  Hopefully I'm wrong, but I'd be surprised based on what you posted.

I have bipolar and don't say something like this on here hardly ever.

PS - Whether it's your gf, parents, a sib, turn over your credit and debit cards and have them delete any online accts where you don't need them.  Add up what you've already spent and ask yourself what happens if your trip continues on up, you disinhibition increases, and you become more wreckless.  Crashing down into depression AND bankruptcy court isn't uncommon.  While I'm mentioning going up higher, you do know that true mania can include psychosis - hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, extremely disorganized thinking (your racing thoughts times 10+), and you end up the proverbial crazy person.  So, as great as you may feel, go to the doctor, get yourself evaluated, and under control.

Answer 6

It really does sound as if you are suffering from manic depression or bi polar disorder as it is also called. This condition gives someone swings of mood from severe depression to feelings of elation and mania. You seem to be having a manic episode.

Reckless behaviour, lack of sleep, irresponsible financial decisions and smoking heavily are all symptoms of mania.

I urge you to consult your GP for referral to a psychiatrist. You will need medication to control the mania.

This condition goes in cycles and the cycles vary in frequency. You need medical help but many people lead normal lives and learn how to moderate the mood swings.

Please, go to your GP.

My sister has had this condition for almost twenty years so I know the symptoms well.

Take care.

Answer 7

You have just described bipolar mania.

You are probably bi-polar.  If you took medication for your depression, sometimes that can trigger a bi-polar mood swing in people who have bipolar genes.

You definitely need to go back to see a psychiatrist and discuss this with him or her.