Behavior problem with special needs 4-year old?

Question

She whines and cries ALL the time. I feel like I've tried everything... ignoring her until she stops, switching her leg each time, giving her what she wants, yelling at her, talking quietly to her, explaining... any ideas? Honestly, she doesn't seem very smart (she's delayed due to brain tumor trauma, hydrocephalus, and HPE) and I'm not sure which technique she will be most likely to understand.

Answer 1

She should be on and IEP

Ask the school to connect you with any family and community services around you.

IF they don't have any ideas - contact the County Social Worker you may be able to get a PCA (personal care attendent) or respite services through them.

Contact an advocacy group for OHI (other health impaired)

Answer 2

She probably won't understand with the problems you listed.  What kind of support are you receivng from special education through the school system?  She became eligible at three and, more than likely, qualifies to be in a special education classroom.   The teachers should be able to help you understand which behavorial techniques to use.  

Just from what you described, she is behaving at her developmental level - like a two year old.  She is probably going to be in that stage for a very long time.  Yelling and spanking will not detract her from whining.  

If you aren't currently usuing the school system yet call your local school and tell them she has been identified as having special needs by her doctor.  They will tell you what the steps are to get her enrolled.  They have 90 days from the day you call until the evaluations must be complete.

Edit - She needs a special ed preschool.  One with certified trained teachers.

Answer 3

Part of her being evaluated for special education  is that she is to be assessed in all areas related to the her suspected disability. If her behavior interferes with her learning or the learning of others, they must consider strategies and supports to address the child’s behavior. She should have either an IEP or an IFSP in place (which is required before she can receive special education), these strategies & supports are to be included within them..when they start, what they are, how long they will be administered, etc. If they have addressed this already in the IEP then a meeting needs to be held in order to review the IEP to consider new strategies & supports to address her behavior. If one has not been done yet, request from the school a FBA (functional behavioral assessment). They can assess her behaviors and create an BIP (behavioral intervention plan) and  add it to her IEP. The IEP team (which includes you) would need to consider positive and effective ways to address that behavior. The team would discuss the positive behavioral interventions, strategies, and supports that the child needs in order to learn how to control or manage his or her behavior. If the team decides that the child needs a particular service (including an intervention, accommodation, or other program modification), they must include a statement to that effect in the child's IEP.

Look at your health insurance to see if they cover behaviorial counseling..if they do you can have a behaviorial counselor (usually a licensed pyschologist) come to your home and work not only with her on behaviorial techniques but they will work with you as well on techniques to use with your daughter.