Behavioral questions about 2 1/2 yr. old twin boys...?

Question

I have been concerned about my 2 1/2 (3 in Dec.) yr. old twin nephews for a while, but it would seem they are not getting any "better" in their behavior. The one had tubes put in his ears over a year ago, which the doctor said his need for those was the reason he was not talking like he was suppose to. After a year he still has them in, and is "starting" to talk, but not very well. I watch these boys 4 days a week and I notice too that they act different with me than with their parents or grandparents. They will listen to me...to a point. When I correct them and sit them down, they will do it, but will get restless and start moving around and wrestling on the couch. When I correct the one who has the tubes, he puts his head down and doesn't talk. Now the other one has been talking for a long time. He speaks better than alot of Kindergarteners. But when he gets corrected he goes into this "thing" of whining and rocking back and forth on his toes and all he will say is mommy, mommy. He won't eat much of anything for me either. When I ask him to eat he starts crying and drooling. Now when their parents are around or grandparents, they are even worse. They scream non-stop, they are impossible to take in public anywhere. If you tell them no, you'll basically have to drag them around because they won't walk or do anything when they are mad. Another thing is taking medicine. They won't do it! It literally takes me and my sis in law to hold themm down, squeeze their mouth open and put it in, and then they spit it out and what does make it down, they just make themselves throw right back up! Does anyone have any ideas?

Answer 1

You should call Early Intervention for a complete evaluation of your nephews' development. There are things that parents & even Dr. mislead about children. Early Intervention is a state agency that take care of children under 3; in some states this agency has different names. They send a group of people specialist in child development to evaluate children in their houses to see what it's wrong. If things aren't wrong, it's ok because the evaluation is free. I'm pretty sure that a lot of people will send you messages about what they think it's wrong, but it's better to get them evaluated by specialists.

I know it because a lot of people (including my son's Dr) told me my son was ok, but when I finally got him evaluated by EI I learned he is into the Autism Spectrum. So, he's receiving therapists

Answer 2

First thing is that sometime it takes some kids longer to speak than others.  Especially with tubes in that little boys ears, he can't quite hear himself to well, it's like being partially deaf, so you talk differently.  So with the tubes he's likely to have a speach problem, until they are officially taken out, then it should recorrect the problem.  There's nothing you can do about how the boys act when they are with the parents, just remember you may not see them all the time, so you can't be totally positive that's how they act all the time.  for the most part when they are with you, when you are watching them, be consistent.  It takes time, kids at that age are testing your limits, trying to get away with anything.  Hence the reason why they call it the terrible two's, trantums here we come sort of thing.  But like I said, be consistent and always say the same thing that discourages their bad behavior.  A good idea for the boy who seems to get very embarassed by being spoken for his negative behavior is to....take him in another room, away from his brother, and other children (if there is any more children), explain to him that we don't behave that way.  Sometimes if you correct a kid (so to say) in front of other people it loses their trust for you, because he just thinks your trying to hurt his feelings or humiliate him.  Remember kids are a lot smarter than we would ever give them credit for.  Honestly you have to treat these kids as if they are young adults, because that's what they are being raised for, if you treat them as if they are a baby, they will act like it.  Also always remember that if the little boy gets insulted, it takes a good 5 praises to make up for that 1 insult (or rude comment).  That's why it's crucial to watch we, you or anyone says.  These are just things to try in your place, obviously when his mom or parents are around it's there place to parent and all you can do it watch.  I just gave a few tips, things I could think of on the top of my head.  I wish you the best of luck!  

Ooooo also........try praising when you see good behavior, keep add it, a lot of it.  When one is being good doing something good, like taking his plate in, praise it, because the other little boy will want that attention to and try to do good things.  Sounds like they are getting a lot of attention for negative things, so if you try to turn that around, you'll have a pleasant time with them, that will be enjoyable.  I really hope this helped a little!

Answer 3

It's the terrible twos times two!  And I thought having one at a time was bad enough.