Behaviour and hatred?

Question

as some of you may know from my previous question,my 6yr old niece is in my care because of a terrible situation but now i have another question concerning her 3 brothers aged 4,3 and 1,they are also in my care now and have been for the last 2 days,the 4 year old says he hates his sister and that its her fault that they arnt with their mum and dad anymore,he constantly teases her and trys to hurt her,the 3 year old hasnt spoken a word since hes been here and the 1 year old doesnt like to sleep at all and constantly crys

I am not sure what to do as i cant just abondon my nephews and niece but I have a 3 week old son to think about,what can I do about my nephews behavious especially the 4yr olds hatred towards his sister?

what are some things that might work to disapline them and build trust between myself and the children?

Answer 1

You cant really do anything except to try and reassure them it is not any of there faults and try and explain to them what happened without to many of the bad details.

And most likely the 4yr old thinks it his fault the mother left but he needs someone to blame. Like I said just reassure them it is not in anyway there fault and that mommy is away to get better and will be back soon. (Unless she is not coming back, dont in any way lie to them).

Answer 2

wow that's a really big change for them and for you.  It will take time for them to settle and adjust and even longer for them to trust and feel safe.  it will be very important for you to take care of yourself so you can be there for these little kids.  I hope you understand what a huge task it is and that love alone will not cut it.  If these kids have been in a abusive and or neglectful environment then I seriously recommend you find some councelling for them and your whole new family.  If you are in australia there are some great places around if you look hard. I would start by contacting local community centres for referal to some place that can assist you all.  You have a long journey ahead of you and a very important one.  Good luck.