Being A Housewife Before You Have kids?

Question

My fiance wants me to quit my job as soon as we get married. He has a good job and can afford it and i really don't want to work. He wants to take care of me and i want to take care of him. But is staying home, when there are no kids to care for, a mistake. Old fashioned?

Answer 1

I suppose it is old fashioned.  Only time will tell whether it's a mistake.  If you both want to do it, then what's the issue?  You can always change your mind later.

Answer 2

This is a decision that will have a huge impact down the line, on both of you.  First, you need to figure out what will happen if something happens to him or his job.  What if he has a stroke or heart attack or other health problem that makes him unable to work?  What if he gets laid off or the industry he works in has problems?  Let's face it, there were a lot of high paying jobs in the subprime mortgage field until recently.  Now the same people who made over $100K per year are fighting for jobs as baristas and living out of their cars.

Staying home can be a huge risk.  It can be catastrophic in some cases.  You need to have a Plan B, just in case.  Even if you work and don't make much money, if you invest your salary wisely, that salary from you could mean that both of you can retire 10+ years early.  It could also provide a cushion, or possibly college fund(s).

My husband used to work with a guy whose wife stayed at home because he made plenty of money and she didn't want to work.  He got laid off.  The only job he could get paid about 60% of his former salary.  They lost their house because they couldn't make the payments.  They lost both the cars.  They lost their retirement funds because they tapped them to pay the bills.  They filed bankruptcy, which meant they lost their ability to get credit.  She took a part time job paying minimum wage because that's all she could get due to her lack of experience.  She resented having to go to work.  He resented the fact that if she had worked all along, they might have been able to save the house and cars etc.  He felt like she put all of the burden on him.  Obviously, they are in the middle of an acrimonious divorce.  They are in therapy, the kids are in therapy, they practically need to get the dog into therapy.  It doesn't always end well, and you need to be aware that not working is shooting yourself in the foot should there be a problem down the line.  If you're willing to risk it, that's your call.  Just be aware of the pitfalls.

Answer 3

I think it's a very risky idea. You should build up some more savings of your own before you have kids. Besides, what will you do all day until then?

Answer 4

Take it from me, if you want to be a housewife without kids enjoy it. Once the kids come say goodbye to peace and quite.

Answer 5

I did it.  It was GREAT for about a year and then I became greatly bored.  At first I was busy furnishing the house, but you can hire a maid to wash your weekly laundry and clean your house i a day for $50.00.  Think about how much more money you could make if you worked.

Do it, and when you get bored go back to work.  The only problem is that you will lose all your seniority at your job, and if you ever tell a boss or personnel director that you quit your job when you got married, they will not hire you.  That gap in the resume is also hard to explain.  .

Answer 6

How very sweet.  Why not just work until you get pregnant and bank every penny you can until then?  Apparently neither you nor your fiance have any idea how much you'll actually need for babies/college/retirement/mortgage, emergencies, etc.  None of us really wants to work.  Romance dies pretty quickly when he has to pay for a roof over your heads, two car loans, feed a growing family, deal with thousands in credit card debt, medical bills, and so on and so forth.  

Oh, and - he may have a good job now, but there's no guarantee it'll be that way forever.  But unless you want your husband dying of a heart attack from overwork before he's 35, don't quit until the kids come.  THAT'S how you take care of each other.  Wash the stardust out of your eyes and get real.  Be as old-fashioned as you like, but don't be stupid about it.

Answer 7

I did it and I got married two years ago so, no it's not old fashioned. Just remember that it might get a little boring if you don't have family/friends near. Take up a hobby and visit people and you'll be fine. It's awesome that you are going to be a stay home wife! Some advice, try to have dinner cooking, a clean house, music on and candles lit at least once a week when your husband comes home from work. You'll be amazed at his attitude! A man who comes home to a peaceful house, is a happy man! A woman who sees the look on her husband's face when he walks into a peaceful home, is a happy woman!

Answer 8

If you don't want to work then don't.  Personally, I think work is highly overrated anyway.  So long as you have plenty to interest you at home, there is no reason why you should work.  I think myself that any moderately intelligent person should be able to keep themselves amused at home.

It is quite an unusual thing nowadays for a man to actually want his wife to be at home, most men prefer their wives to be bringing in money.  But so long as both of you are happy with this arrangement I think you should go for it.  If it is slightly old-fashioned that is not a bad thing.