Being a better friend?

Question

Here's my problem. I used to be a great listener. In high school, I was labeled a psychologist for helping people with their problems, but after school I went into seclusion and lost many of my social skills. I'm just now starting to spend time with people again. I have two new friends i've made and they are having relationship problems. I would like to be there for them, so I invited them out to dinner to hopefully get them to talk about it. I would like to help them if I can. Now, while we're eating should I just bluntly ask what's going on with them or can someone suggest a better strategy? I used to be so very good at this and I want to be someone people feel they can talk to again.

Answer 1

make them feel good about being together...

i.e.: 'you guys are so cute together.' or 'you guys are really good together..'

it worked for some of my friends. : )

Answer 2

Hi don,t give yourself a hard time theres only so much you can do

no one has all the answers

Answer 3

Don't feel like you have to sort out other people's problems. Go to dinner with them and have fun. If they happen to bring it up, then you can be there for them. If they don't bring it up, they probably just want it to be kept private. I wouldn't suggest you bring it up because it's something to do with the two of them, and they need to sort this out on there own. You can just be there for them by being a good friend and having fun with them!

Good Luck :)  

Answer 4

Don't worry about just coming right out and asking.  I would just go to dinner with them and try to help them get their minds off it. That would be helping a lot. If you can take them out, and just have fun, that would help them. If they want to talk, they will open up.  If they don't, then heres what I would do...at the end of the night I would say something like 'I know you've been dealing with some hard problems lately and I want you to know I care and I'm here to listen if you ever want to talk'  

That way there is no pressure, but they know you care and they can appreciate your kindness....thats just what I would do...

If they don't open up, maybe call them a couple days later just say hey ask how they're doing and let them know you'd like to go hang out again whenever they can...

I think by taking them out for a night, not necessarily to talk about things they may not want to, it'll give em a chance to have fun and forget about it for a little while, then you let them know you care and are there to listen....and when you keep in touch by calling, its obvious you're someone whos there for them.  Whether they want to open up to you or not is their choice, but I think with an approach like this you've done all you can do to say you care without adding any pressure to talk about things they may not want to....  good luck, you're a good person to care

Answer 5

Here's your problem. You think too much. Seriously! I mean its just talking right?? You used to know that. You dont have to stress what youre going to say to ppl. Just be confident and dont worry and be who you are.  Act natural. There's really nothing to it. Youre just WAY over thinking it.  

And about your friends, well, theyre your friends right?? You dont have to worry about what youre going to say to your friends. Just be comfortable. You wanna help them talk about their lives right? So just do it. Dont think! All you have to do is, when youre hanging out just be like "How are you?" "How are you and ....(whoever theyre having relationship issues with)" "Has anything improved between you guys?" "Whats been on your mind lately?"

Just ask questions. Be confident. If they start to talk you can continue to ask questions and pry deeper into it. It could be really good for them. However, if they really seem like they dont wanna talk about it, than dont bother them too much about it. Let them know youre there for them and every once in awhile, especially if they seemed stressed or upset, ask them whats up. other than that, DONT WORRY. Youre gonna be fine:]

Answer 6

Don't bring it up.  Just ask how everything is going...etc.  And if they do, all they really need you for is to listen more than anything.  If you have any similar situations that happened and you know of a good solution or advice, offer it but only after they ask you for it.  Since they are fairly new friends I would do that.  Just be yourself...and put yourself in their shoes on how you would want someone else to be there for you!

Answer 7

I always like to start off questions like that with this little intro...

"So... what's going on with you and so & so, IF you don't mind me asking..."