Being a lifelong bachelor.....?

Question

For years, I have witnessed and seen the ugly side of marriage and relationships and I've decided that I would like to become a lifelong bachelor.

Throughout the course of my youth, I've seen many men whom actually broken down to tears because their ladies has dissed them. There are many wives and girlfriends out here fooling around, destroying families, destroying homes and breaking hearts. Marriage has became a joke in today's society.

About a year ago, my father set something up for me for my "first time". It was with an older woman in her 30s whom came inside our home (while my mother was at work) to give me some "experience". After the second time of fooling with her, I later found out the lady was a married mother of two kids. Her and her husband wasn't getting along so that was why she was messing with me (although I strongly believe that I wasn't the only one she's fooling around with). I told my father to break it off, and I haven't seen her since last year.

I just seen nothing but cheating, cheating, cheating from women.I've heard stories where a woman could be over a dude's house "getting it on" while her hubby is at work, then would try to make it back home in the bed before he gets back. I even heard stories of guys killing themselves from the intense emotional pain the women has gaven them. I've even heard AND SEEN dudes get their *** whupped, beat and MURDERED over a woman.

I've been emotionally hurt by women before, but nothing major. I never been in a relationship, so I can't say I have been cheated on. Usually, my heartbreak came from wanting a girl who didn't like me back or seeing a girl I like with another guy, but I've never had any relationships with either of them. But one thing I remembered was "YOU CANT LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD"...They were never mine to begin with, so why bother?

I just don't want to get married or be involved in a relationship because I am so scared that I'm going to get cheated on. Not all women cheat, but most of them are no good and it's kind of hard to put all your trust in them. You understand what I'm saying?

Does anyone agree with me?

Answer 1

well, i agree that in these days being in a relationship is not that meaninful as it was before, i am not too old or young i am 23, but i am married and i love my husband and i will never cheat on him, i think that when you are not happy with that person you should move on and then find some else and not be with two at the same time. in my opinion when some one cheats the relationship you had is gone and will not be back the same again.  you said that you have heard stories, but you have not tried to look for some one that is worth getting over that fear. give you a chance of getting to know someone that first of all is single and you feel confortable with and then you see if you can go on.

Answer 2

I do understand how you feel. I have never cheated on anyone that I was with.  I have been cheated on though.  It stinks.  It takes a long time to find someone with the same values that you have but I really believe it is possible.  I also find that at times I am just waiting to see when they are going to "mess up".  Like I expect it and that's not good. I actually know of many more men that have cheated on their wives and girlfriends. Most of the women I know have stayed loyal - even tho they have been cheated on.  Try not to shut yourself off from everyone.  There are still really decent people out there looking for true love!  

Answer 3

Your right, not all women cheat. You also didn't mention anything about all of the men who cheat, or the men who walk out on their families. There are dead beat dads, dead beat moms and you could get struck by a bus crossing the street tonight.

Why focus on all that can go wrong in life? Why not enjoy it, one day at a time. No one says you have to rush into a committed relationship, but you shouldn't close the door on the possibility. You might miss out on something good.

The important thing is that you know you are strong enough to handle what ever life throws your way.

Answer 4

Men cheat just as much as women. Finding a PERSON with any sort of values is very hard. but  marriage is hard work and most forget that. My husband was a confirmed bachelor, one of the reasons I dated him. We have now been married 12 years and we work hard at our relationship and we do not cheat. We are very much in-love and want to grow very old together. Relationships are a gamble just like life, good luck to you and your future. It also helped that we were older and not kids when we married.

Answer 5

if you can't put your trust into someone you will never have any kind of relationship..but honestly you don't want to get into a relationship or married you are going to live your life being very lonely!

Answer 6

You are 100% correct.Trouble is one day your hormones are going to over power your reason then........

Answer 7

Sorry I don't agree with your idiotic assumption.....there are plenty of men that behave the way you just described....

Answer 8

It can be difficult to trust anyone, but I wouldn't say most women are no good. Bad often stands out more than Good, but that doesn't mean there actually is more Bad than Good. I don't think you're being fair to yourself to close yourself off from the possibility of a relationship because your girlfriend might cheat. Every day, a million bad things MIGHT happen to you but you get out of bed anyway, don't you? I can see why you want to keep yourself from getting hurt, but in doing that you are also keeping yourself from a lot of happiness.

You could be in a relationship that's destined to crash and burn. Realistically, the majority of them are. That's why most people go through a few relationships before they find the person they want to marry. But you could also be in a relationship that's destined to be very happy and last for the next 80 years. Do you really want to give that up because you're afraid of something that could happen?

Men are just as likely to cheat as women are. Are we all supposed to assume that everyone is going to cheat on us and go through life pissed off and lonely so we don't get hurt? It'll never work. You're going to get hurt anyway. That's life. It isn't going to hurt forever.

Answer 9

I really think you need to breath, live, date and enjoy life before you come up with assumptions.  You don't seem to have much life experience.  

Answer 10

I,m finding everything you are saying to be absolute insanity!  Im not sure if I believe any of it, but if it is all true then ok, you have the right to live your life the way you want. Being hurt from relationships is not always a bad thing, its almost a learning experience, it makes a person who they are today, you cant go thru life fearing what hasnt happened, or may happen. I do agree with you that their are people who cheat, men as well as women cheat, it doesnt mean we must stay away from having a loving relationship with someone. I think you may have issues with insecurity, work on this, & you may find that life will get better.