Being a step parent????

Question

So I have been watching my two step children during the day my husband works and any time he is away and I am caring for them they think it is okay to not behave and do bad things. I can let them out of my sight for two seconds without them doing something honest I have never met children so bad in my life. I just dont understand how can I get them to stop doing bad thing my husband has already taken toys and bikes and the things they love away and they just dont care. HELP!!! I honest dont even want to be around them anymore

Answer 1

Didnt you get along with them before you got married to their father? Isnt that the most important thing? Were you mentally, emotionally and physically prepared for them?

Thats why the father remarried.  He cannot handle them.

Answer 2

tell your husband how you feel and make him deal with it.

Answer 3

Hello Ashley,

My Heart goes out to you.  Especially since you really need to get a grip on this situation.

Your frustration comes over very clear, and I don't doubt that the children see it too.  And that is exactly why they are misbehaiving.  

They are having a blast getting under you skin.  It's more fun to torment you, so much so it's worth doing without their things.

Dad is on the right track using the reward system.  He just need to keep it up.

You need to do that as well.  And do things with your husband's approval.

You need to be the one doing the teasing of the children, and get to them where it hurts the MOST.

First of all, you MUST NEVER show your angst or your anguish.  A friend told me a long time ago, to fool your tormentor, put on a happy face, and whistle while you work.

YOU WILL BE AMAZED! How well it works.

Get that part right and you're 3/4's to your goal with the kids.

Just be a very happy person, and as soon as they witness that their tomenting, and that they're doing without their stuff has no purpose, they'll change slowly.

Next, make sure that you TELL THEM you and their Dad are using the Reward System.  Yes.  They must understand that their behavior good = reward; bad = losing something.

Give them CHOICES.  

If you play quietly, we'll have pizza ( or any favorite food) tonight;

if you are loud I won't feel like going out, so you can just have peanut butter sandwiches.  BTW p-butter is excellent nutrition, so you are not "depriving" them legally.

If they are total monsters, give them a choice of a favorite food, or LIVER and onions, or something they will surely hate.

This works for weekends getting their rooms cleaned up, or their chores done.  If you do it, you may go to the movies, if not no computer, no TV, you can read a book.  Again, something that is really good for them, but they won't like it too much.

You get the idea...it really does work

but ONLY if you do this in total control of YOUR emotions, and YOU start having fun with it.  

These kids have been watching you squirm.

It's time for you to watch them squirm.

And step-mom, don't do this with a "spiteful" heart at all.

Do this with the surety, and love that you are teaching them valuable lessons, that will help to teach them to respect authority in their life, and will help them later in their life to make the right choices, and be aware of penalties for poor behavior.

It's works every time, as long as you make up your mind to outlast them.  This works if you make up your mind to do it forever.  Kids can't buck-up-against you forever...so you have already won, the minute you begin !!!

^j^♥

Answer 4

You don't say their ages, tell them that you are not trying to take away from their mom, and that you love their dad and anything that is apart of him. They want attention even if its bad. Get some books on children. Have their dad talk to them. Get them involved with projects, praise them for the jobs they do.