Being cruel to be kind?

Question

my son goes to karate he is 7 and really good at it, however he says he hates going and wants to quit, should i make him go or not. To widen the picture he is not crying or really upset about it he just moans and would rather be playing on the playstation! he is rather inclined to be a lazy little bugger and this is the only physical excersise he does (apart from school, and family cyclying etc). I'm just bothered as to wether i should force him to continue or let him quit.

Answer 1

If his only reason for wanting to quit is that he'd rather be on the playstation don't let him quit. If you think there's something else to it offer that he can do something else offer him alternatives or ask him what he'd prefer to do, its important that he continues to have some form of physical activity and stay healthy.

It is not cruel.

Answer 2

He should keep at it. It's not like he despises it or anything, right? It's simply that he would rather be doing the lazy alternative. As must of us would.

It's important not to push kids to do too many activities, but if this is the only one he's doing then it can be a good idea to get him to stick with it.

If he really hates(and it's not just laziness) then let him quit, maybe offer an alternative.

Answer 3

YOU are the Parent...you are responsible to put structure  into his life...this is  a healthy (physically and mentally) form of excercise and expression...of course he will complain at times about going, he IS a KID...that is their job...to complain...YES...you should make him go and finish out this course...then if he would like to do something else next season or next year then allow him to change activities, find what He likes...he will be glad you did in the Future...when he is a well-disciplined,Focused teen as well as adult.

Answer 4

Why don't you give him some other options to choose from?  I agree some physical activity is good, definitely better than sitting in front of the playstation, but to reach a compromise you could ask him if there's another sport he'd rather do, or even some physical activity with you.

Answer 5

he might just be burned out. When I was little I liked karate but I just needed a break. Give him a 2 week break(no more otherwise he could forget everything)  and then take him back. We all need breaks ocassionaly. I often said I wanted to quit but a short break here and there kept me with it for 8 years and still going.

Answer 6

You're not being cruel! Kids need some kind of hobby, especially one that keeps them active. You said he is really good at karate, so maybe lots of encouragement and praise for his hard work and talent could get him back on his feet. If not, why not ask him what he wants to do instead? He may not know, so give him some suggestions like soccer, football, hockey, basketball, etc. How often does he do karate? If it's more than twice a week he may be getting tired of it, so you could try just once a week. If he is going just once a week, maybe he would like it better if one of his school mates did it too? I know when I began ballet classes I didn't enjoy going as I wasn't really good friends with anybody, and wished my friend from school would do it with me!

Answer 7

There are so many people gaining weight and most of them children, do you really want to set your child up for maybe being overweight, having diabetes, having cardiac problem etc later on in life if so let him play on the game console. If you want him to be fit and healthy and enjoy his life to maximum send him to his karate lessons that is what I would personally do. I will keep him fit and healthy and is good for mind of well also giving him more confidence. Also allowing him to quit so easily will also teach him he can quit at anything. Would you allow him to quit school. You sound like a good mum and responsible the decision is now all yours.

Rich

Answer 8

Would he want to go if he hadn't got a playstation?? Maybe take it away from him for a couple of weeks or so, (bit devious, i know) tell him its broken and away getting repaired?? he might get bored and want to go to karate then!!!!

Answer 9

Any class that allows young children to attend is not worth considering.  A child cannot control their emotions readily enough.  Karate in the wrong hands is very dangerous.  If your child injures another child by using karate he/she could be charged with using an offencive weapon.

Judo is less dangerous as an alternative.

Karate is the art of attack.

Judo is the atr of defence.

If he is lazy...Buy him a gift that'll make him move (e.g. a bike). Ask him first or you may waste your money.  Other than that a little county visiting, rock climbing, mountain walking e.g. Brecon Beacons in Wales as well as healthy for yourself.

Answer 10

make him choose another sport before he quits, so that he knows even if he does quit he will still will not be on the playstation and then let him make a choice if he hates that sport tell him that he can go back to karate or continue the sport he's doing, or he can choose 1 other sport that he will have to stick with! if all else fails send him to military school (just kidding) always make sure he has an activity.

Answer 11

let him quit. my son did karate for a while but didn't really enjoy it, but he said he didn't feel as though he could quit as it would be a waste of our money.i said it was a waste if he did go and wasn't enjoying it. you can still limit time on his playstation though!! in time he may find a sport he does like.if not don't worry-some kids are just not sporty.my son isn't hates football,rugby etc but is an excellent swimmer, loves riding his bike or scooter and go carting.the main part about sport is the exercise and taking part. what about encouraging him to join a cub group or something?my son goes to scouts and is on the go there for 2 hours solid!! explain to him how important exercise is and ask him if there was anything in particular he wanted to try and go from there.the big deal isn't really about taking up a sport-its about exercise so even a couple of hours running around the park, or a walk or even flying a kite can give them the hour a day that they need.

Answer 12

I would have normally answered let him quit, but if he simply wants to quit cause he'd rather sit on his butt and play playstation all day, then what i would do is tell him that yes he can quit, but he has to pick another sport to join.

Too many kids are sitting at home playing games instead of joining activities or just going outside. It's quite sad how things have turned out these days. (never had any games systems when i was a child, i was always out and about)

I wouldn't tho, let him quit all together tho.  

Answer 13

Maybe let him choose a diffrent sport before quitting some kids just need to find that 1 absolutly right sport and karate might not be it.

Answer 14

Let him quit I was like him good at it and then I started to hate it, my dad wouldn't let me quit but then he let me, I hated it all my friends had left the club and It got hard for me.

Answer 15

Let him pick something else to do...maybe he'd like drama or something more imaginative.

Answer 16

why tf should u force him to if he doesnt like it? you a s****t or something?? sheesh.  

Answer 17

Hi you could always see what other sports you can get him into, as you know your son if he just wants to play on his playstation or watch telly then you are right for being concerned really, but you cannot mkae him do something he doesnt really want to do in the end, but chosing an alternative spot might be better for him.

But at the end of the day if you are trying to keep him fit and healthy now which is a good idea when he gets older thought he might just decided he doesnt like sports at all and then he will just laze at home and will be too old for you to tell him what to do. lol

Just tell him that karate is only for 1 hour a week and its not that long and that he is really good at it and that he can become really good and make something out of it when he gets older. Try and pursuade him nicely and if still he doesnt want to do it then just give in. as he is only 7  

Answer 18

maybe there's a reason why he doesn't want to go anymore, like if someone is mean to him or anything. speak to the instructor to see if something is going on. if he's just bored of it then see if he's interested in some other sport. i don't think forcing him will make him like it (it might do the opposite) but encouraging him to some other physical activity that he might enjoy more.

i know with myself i never stayed with one thing for long as i'd get bored. the only thing i've kept doing throughout the years is running. but i've done just about every other sport available ballet, judo, football, badminton, swimming... to mention a few but i never stayed for more than 2 years.  

Answer 19

ask him if he would like to do another form of sport...kids are inclined to sit around too much these days playing on play stations and the likes..does he like football? better to join a club than be out on the streets kicking around and annoying neighbours....good luck

Answer 20

Let him quite but make it clear that if he does quite he will have to join something else and he isn't going to get away with doing nothing . My mum put me in ballet when  was younger and I hated it at first but she wouldn't let me quit and you know what ? I like it . Even if I didn't like it I still would have important skills out of it - self confidence , disipline , appreciation of my body , dedication , so I think that you should definalty keep you son in some form of physical or benifical activity ! good luck x