Being seduced by a 35 y/o when i am only 23 what to do?

Question

ive been attending yoga classes for about 3 months now and my instructor who i get along well with asked me after our class last week if i could give a lift back to her apartment as she had alot of stuff with her and her car was servicing. I was happy to help out and she invited me over for coffee. We were just chatting about ourselves and what we do then I found out she got divorced 9 months ago and moved here. She complimented me for doing so well in class and keeping up with her and then started feeling my abs and chest. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable although i could tell from her eyes she was into me. She has great body herself, but because i felt hesitant i jus said i had to go. Maybe that was a real stupid thing because she knew i wasn't interested in getting serious into a relationship. To be honest i felt intimidated could it be because ive never been with an older woman like that and dont know if i should she looks younger like may be 28 or 29 but 12 yrs?!?

Ive always been with girls more my age group (19 to 25). I always think twice before doing anything but before next class comes, I want to know is she just trying to get over her divorce u think?....Should I make her day next time? Or is this emotional blackmail?

Answer 1

Yoga lessons and s*x sessions from the same older woman? Go for it, she will be able to teach you sooooo much about how to treat a woman which will hold you in good stead for your future partners. Stud!

Answer 2

It's a yoga class, not a college where she is responsible for grading you and directly affecting your future.  I don't see anything unethical in a student/teacher relationship, should you want to pursue one (though this IS the "etiquette" category, so I see other peoples' point).  It is completely up to you.  If you are not interested in her, you can politely inform her that you want to keep your relationship strictly professional.  If you ARE interested in her, the next choice is whether to make it a fling or something serious and long-term.  That can be worked out between the two of you, just like any other relationship between people of similar ages.

Based on your description of the events and your reaction to them, I get the impression of "cougar" here (primarily sexual attraction between an older woman and younger man).  I have been in such relationships, and it can work out very well or not at all.  It will probably work best for you if you are very direct with her; you can cut though all the BS that is inherent in girls your own age.  The more mature you behave, the more attracted to you she'll become.  Being "mature" certainly doesn't exclude having fun, though!  The age difference is not as large as you perceive it to be now, and it is easily overcome once you know more about each other.

Answer 3

bang that hooker! make her day but don't get any emotions involved.  

Answer 4

It's not the age difference that bothers me, I think 12 years difference isn't that unusual.  What bugs me is that she's your teacher, and beginning a relationship with you - of any kind - is very unethical.  And could go badly for either one of you.

EDIT:

Yeah, I didn't notice you said it was a Yoga class, I was thinking she was your English teacher at college or something ... LOL ... I think that might be okay.  Go ahead.

Answer 5

if you feel uncomfortable when she's around..try to avoid her..

Answer 6

If she was hot I'd do her.

Answer 7

If you were a kid that'd be one thing, but you are an adult.  If you like her, go with it and enjoy her experience.  She will probably enjoy being a mentor to you and you could learn a lot about life from her.

If you don't feel anything toward her and she has made overtures to you and continues even if you feel uncomfortable, then you should drop her as a teacher.

Since you took off, she might have taken offense, so if you want to continue you may have to ask her out this next time to get things going again.

Answer 8

I think she scared you and you were afraid she'd know more than you.you're used to immature girls. she's a woman .

Answer 9

If you're not interested in her, politely tell her that you find her attractive but can't handle the age difference.  If she expresses that her interest is purely sexual, maybe you could learn a thing or two from her.  It depends on what your morals and sense of adventure tell you to do.  You're both single (assuming you are), so there's no shame in dating.

Answer 10

Go with the flow!

Answer 11

I think you are seriously jumping the gun here.  She invited you over to her house and started feeling your abs.  You ran because you aren't interested in a serious relationship.  Hate to state the obvious here but she wasn't looking for a serious relationship.

Of course she is trying to get over her marriage.  It's only been a couple months.  Divorce probably isn't even final yet.  She would just be interested in a couple weeks.  Maybe not that.  She probably thinks b/c of your age you are a safe rebound.  Very few 23 yos would turn down a one night stand.  And very few would try to turn it into the love affair of the century.  

But the main thing is what are you interested in?  If you aren't really interested in a woman that much older than you and especially in making your yoga class awkward, then say no.  If you don't mind experimenting with an older woman and don't mind everyone in class knowing you are sleeping with the instructor, than go for it.  It's really up to you.

Personally I couldn't do it b/c I don't sleep with someone I can't have a conversation with.  And she was 16 when you were 4, not even in kindegarden.  She started to go to clubs when you were 6.  And she could legally drink before you could even ride your bike around the neighborhood unsupervised.  Two of the most nationally charged shockers for her life--Elvis' death and the Challenger explosion--you weren't even born for.  I don't know if you are still in college or not, but if so you are into the party life and have no idea about bills and laundry.  She would baby you.  More than likely you share very few of the same interests--not in music, not in going out and partying, not in movies or tv.

It's all about your comfort zone

Answer 12

If you feel uncomfortable, that's a good sign that something isn't right to you.

A teacher should never attempt to seduce a student.  That is just plain unethical.

Answer 13

I think she is on the rebound right now from her divorce.. I would not get intimately involved with her.. If I was you I would look for a proper relationship with someone..  this is purely sexual.. but of course you are both grown ups.. nobody can tell you what to do.. I am sure if you meet her again or she invites you again. which I personally would not  accept in your case but this is your decision entirely and you are two grown up people so nobody has a right to judge you... you have to make this decision for yourself.. if you want to have a sexual experience with an older woman.. she is game for it.. I believe she is trying to get over her divorce. that's why i said..  maybe her husband left her. she needs to feel she can still attract guys. she is on the rebound.. so it's purely sexual what she wants. the confirmation that she is still woman enough..  if that's what you want.. you can accept her offer and be intimate with her..  It's only up to you and her..  Nobody can make this decision for you... She will do the seducing.. she has the experience..  if you give her a sign.. she definitely will make the first move.. you only have to give her the tiniest encouragement..  if that's what you want.. nobody has a right to judge.. and she is only a yoga teacher..  not your prof at school so its not illegitimate.. but I would think twice.. and then it's up to you and her.. whatever you do as long as you are sure about it.. then do what your head and your heart tell you x

Answer 14

if you like her, then age should have nothing to do with it.  Once you are comfortable being with her then the rest is easy.  Why not ask her out to dinner or a movie of something like that to start off slower.

If you want nothing to do with her because you can't see yourself dating her, then either tell her that or avoid seeing her.../