Being selfish in a selfless way?

Question

If you were going to adopt a child, would you still adopt him/her if you knew they had some type of handicap or disease? Be honest, I don't know who you are.

Answer 1

if you are selfless you would adopt as the childs need is greater than a normal one!

Answer 2

No-one can really answer this for you. It comes down to your decision. Ask yourself why you want to adopt. Are you able to provide long term health care? Can you modify your home and lifestyle if this is called for? The desire to love a child as if it were your own is the primary requisite in my opinion. If in doubt. Don't do it.

Answer 3

Yes I would. It takes someone with extreme patience to be able to care for someone with a handicap. But you also have to think about it this way- You will fall in love with that child. In a matter of weeks it will be like that child has always been there and you cant imagine your life without them.  I am no martyr or saint, but I couldnt deny myself a child just because of a handicap. If money was an issue I would make it work.

Answer 4

I think it would depend on how much the handicap would cost financially.  It would be a crime to adopt a child with a handi-cap if you couldn't afford the treatments and care it would need.  I wouldn't turn one down because I couldn't love a handicapped child, only if I couldn't afford good care for it.

Answer 5

You have no guarantees that a child born to you will not have a disability or disease, so what is the difference?

Only in adoption does one get to pick and choose.  It's sick.

Answer 6

My opinion is that anyone who asks this question is not ready to adopt.

All children separated from their families through adoption are special needs children.  Physical handicaps or not, they are more vulnerable by default and require special care, understanding, and much higher than average empathy.  

People who just want "normal" kids are not going to get that when they adopt.  They need to understand that and embrace it from the get-go, or they are doing a great disservice to the children they adopt.  Parenting any adopted child well is a much harder row to hoe than parenting one's natural child.

Answer 7

It depends on the defect.  Our family cannot afford to take care of a severely disabled child.

Otherwise, it wouldn't matter.  I had scleroderma as a kid, and it was no big thing.

Answer 8

Honestly it depends on the person. If you have the money and patients to give this child the life they need then go for it! Everybody needs someone to love them. Handicap or not

Answer 9

I think you've posed the question in an interesting way and it's difficult to figure out exactly how the situation would unfold and my answer would at least partially depend on that. You present it as if you already know that you are going to adopt a specific child and then you find out that this child has a handicap or disease. First of all, handicap and disease are such incredibly general terms and they are also very different from each other. But, even before that the big question for me is whether this is a child you already know and are planning to adopt and it is then that you discover these concerns. Are you already attached to the child? Does the child know you? Is the child expecting you to adopt them? Is this a baby or a child? I think the answer really varies depending on the answers. There is a huge difference between deciding whether you are the kind of person who wants to adopt a child with these issues -- knowing ahead of time that it is something you can deal with and are willing to take on -- and finding out that a child you are planning to adopt and have already connected to has these issues. Also it matters a lot what the specific issue is and certainly there is a big difference between "diseases" and "handicaps." Do you mean a child with diabetes? Or a child with muscular dystrophy? Or a child who is blind or has Downs Syndrome? Are you talking hypothetically or is there an actual situation you are considering? I'm being honest but I'm trying to understand the true point of your question and what it is you are trying to learn about yourself. Clearly you are not interested in whether I would adopt the child but, rather you are trying to decide what to do for yourself. But, exactly what is the situation?

Answer 10

Lol, because I am a crazy individual, yes.

Answer 11

As long as I knew I had the proper time and abilities to care for them, I'd absolutely do it. The only thing that would stop me would be me know that I couldn't take care of the child as they needed.

Answer 12

Depends what type of handicap and/or disease you are talking about.  We are not opposed to the idea but would have to consider all the variables before we would take on that responsiblity.

Answer 13

it genuinely depends on the handicap and age. i have a daughter and one on the way so i have to think about what would life be like for them and would it be fair to the child i was adopting.

i guess the fastest truth is probably not i do want to adopt i know to expect alot of mental possibilities i guess i just dont think its fair that i would have a physiological bias towards my birth children and a disability would make it  more clearly there i think.

i feel like a jerk saying it but it is kind of like a choice of having a baby or not and having to decide whats better for the baby and i dont know that i could provide for a disabled person and do it to the fullest extent of necesity.

a child waiting to be adopted has enough to worry about not to mention finding a home and then for it to not be right and to not meet their needs accordingly.

i greatly respect those who do and i admire their patience love and am glad that there are people like them out there.

God bless those who can but i know that people like that are on this planet to save others and i would rather give them the opportunity than take it and disappoint a child.

Answer 14

I have adopted two special needs children, so yes, I would and did.