Best Chuck Norris Jokes?

Question

who has the best chuck norris joke?

Answer 1

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. HE GOES KILLING!

Chuck Norris is the reason why Mona Lisa smiles.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

When Chuck Norris visited the virgin islands they were'nt called the virgin islands anymore. They where just called the islands.

Chuck Norris can unscramble a scrambled egg.

If you can see Chuck Norris. He can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, then you may be seconds away from being killed.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the night light not because the not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of him!

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee were fighting, when Bruce asks, 'Hey Chuck, how come you so ugly?' And Chuck says, 'Mostly cause your foot is always in my face.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits

Answer 2

What is worse than Chuck Norris's bill for martial arts lessons?

His able Toupe.

Answer 3

CHUCK NORRIS' TEARS CAN CURE CANCER... BUT CHUCK NORRIS NEVER CRIES.

Answer 4

The space time continuum exists to prevent two Chuck Norrises from existing at the same time and place.  If this happened, and both threw a round house kick, the tear in the fabric of spacetime would create a wormhole that would destroy the universe.

Yeah I'm a bit of a geek.

Answer 5

what do you get when you have no life

YOU

Answer 6

The Roman Empire fell...after a Chuck Norris roundhouse-kick.

Chuck Norris visited China...all women within a 500 mile radius spontaneously became pregnant.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books...he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Answer 7

Here's one I just made up:

Chuck Norris only slept two times in his whole life. You know what happened when he slept those two times?

World War I and World War II.

Answer 8

Beneath his beard, Chuck Norris does not have a chin - there is a fist in its place!

Answer 9

if you dare say that one chuck norris joke is less than the other, chuck norris will round house kick you in the face be foe you can type it