Best Friends, Or More?

Question

I need advise! A woman that I have known for a couple years now has me confused, she is 37 and I am 54. We have become very close, and last year I asked her if we could take our relationship further. I love this Lady, and she tells me she loves me with all her heart. But, she just wants to remain close friends. She tells me her sons, (2) adore and love me and that they think of me as a father, and I do love them also. She treats us as if we were in a relationship, but without the intimacy, but in all other respects people would claim that we are a couple. She has tried dating a few other men, but is never satisfied with them, all she does is complain about them to me. WE both thoroughly enjoy each others company, she even admits that we get along great and that we have so much in common. So why isn't she willing to take our relationship further? She claims there is no chemistry, so if that is the case, why does she insist on calling me as soon as she awakes in the morning, and she insists on me being the last one to talk to before we got to bed? And we are on the phone for hours, literally!!! HELP

Answer 1

If she says she's not feeling any chemistry but keeps you very close, she might just be afraid to be alone but doesn't want to be involved romantically. If that doesn't work for you, tell her. Explain you want more and that because of your feelings for her, you NEED more but if she's unwilling to take your relationship to the next level, your friendship needs to be more platonic and less blurry. Even though you have lots in common and seem like the perfect couple, it might never come to fruition and you need to accept that. Have you tried dating other women, since she's dated other men? Jealousy can be a powerful thing too- maybe if she sees you're moving on and looking for love elsewhere, she'll make a decision on what her true feelings for you are. But don't pander to this woman if all she wants is buddy- you deserve a relationship that makes sense and makes both of you happy. Good luck!

Answer 2

seems like she has told you flat out that she's not interested in a physical relationship... so you're just really good friends...

no chemistry means no physical attraction.. if you hang in there, its POSSIBLE (but not likely) that she'll feel differently...

but be warned.. if you're only in this friendship because you hope it can one day be more, you're fooling yourself.. she's made it pretty clear for ya...

good luck

Answer 3

Propose to her in the most unexpected way,but also the sweetest and charming ever.Get over and beyond yourself,prove to her that you are willing to spend your life with her.So make the first move my friend,you never know if that's what she really wants deep down her heart is for you to read between the lines.It's so obvious that she likes you,or even needs you in her life.Goodluck! Just trying to help here.:)

Answer 4

She is definately scared to commit. She has probably been hurt. Go to her and tell her you'll be everthing she needs and more and tell her you want to be in a relationship with her. If she doesn't want this then you'll have to give her time, but still be her friend.

Answer 5

Seems like you are more a best friend than someone she wants to be intimate with so no relationship possibilities. I suggest finding another woman

Answer 6

I am a 32 year old woman who also has a friend who is male who is 50,  now I know that we spend alot of time together I even take care of him such as clean his house cook for him and do his laundry.  I do care for him very deeply but I also have had a nonconventional life.  My first husband was very mean to me, after him I was a single mother to my daughter I was even foolish enough to remarry a man that I cannot love (reasons unimportant) but because of the life that I have had up until this point I cannot allow myself to be anything more then friends with this 50 year old.  I know  that the advice that I am about to give you probably wont be what you want to hear but right now you need to make a decision that is not only going to affect you but her too.  You need to decide if you can still be her friend knowing that you feel the way you do for her . On a level she does love and care for you very deeply but she cannot for what ever the reason allow that wall to fall. In my opinion it is solely based on the fact what if?  What if it doesnt work out then she loses her best friend and you sir are her friend if she feels comfortable enough to talk to you the way she does.  So what you need to decide is being friends going to be enough for you.  Good luck to you hope it all works out

Answer 7

Well it seems that you'll are good friends from what you are saying it do seem that she is leading you and that's not fair to anyone to be lead on. Have you ever told her how you felt? If not you should. It shouldn't be all about intimacy either it's more than that I believe well it's about time you tell her how you feel and find out if you'll are a couple or just friends she is the best one that can answer cause she knows

Answer 8

that`s what best friends do, they keep each other company, and ask whats up during the day and night. best friends love each other. you need to give her more time, i know age doesn`t matter, but maybe to her it does. you should ask her, what your asking us. " why don`t you want to take our realationship to the next level " ? .

we can`t help you, only you can help yourself. speak up to her, and tell her how you really feel.

god bless,

quyen.